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back to article BOFH: Spontaneous Legal Combustion

The following concludes episodes 4b, 4c and 5b, which are available exclusively to Register Platinum Cookie readers (with access to the content opulent Register Website). For the benefit of general (Lead Cookie) readers, the following flashback snippets have been approved for distribution: Boss: You Bastards! (Episode 4b) …

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*applauds*

Outstanding work. Am I the only one who read, "carefully" for "carelessly"?

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Cookies

I have a double chocolate chip cookie. What does that get me?

Don't need a coat...the suns out

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huh?

what was that?

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Drat!

I only had a chocolate chip cookie and I ate that at tea break this morning.

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Hmmmmm

Not too sure about this one.

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Anonymous Coward

Platinum Cookie!!!

I'm sorry, I didn't see the Platinum Cookie option when I just registered.

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Ahhhh....

The Bastard Lawyer from Hell

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Alert

eh?

The leading paragraph left me confused, but with a sudden desire to eat cookies.

/AFK - Gone to bakery.

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A return to form

After having just re-read the archive this week whilst waiting for a new one, I'm pleased to say this ia a complete return to form. Now if he could just get back to a weekly delivery schedule...

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Jumping the?

(complete with fricking laser beams...)

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Emj
Dead Vulture

What the....

does this mean? "The following concludes episodes 4b, 4c and 5b, which are available exclusively to Register Platinum Cookie readers (with access to the content opulent Register Website). For the benefit of general (Lead Cookie) readers, the following flashback snippets have been approved for distribution:"

For f's sake - surey the reg hasn't stooped to multi-levels of users? Pathetic if it has. Hopefully, this is just some kind of joke that I will get the punch line to some point in the future...

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Genius

That is all

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Anonymous Coward

huh ?

What platinum cookie ?

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Bastard Attorney From Hell?

Or did the PFY choose to represent them both?

Awesome episode, probably my favorite for a long while. And an awesome explanation for "missing" ones. Where do I sign up for El Reg Platinum Cookie?

*off to wipe Pepsi from the keyboard*

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Flame

~WHAT!?!

WHAT!?!

THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH????

NOW I HAFE TO SUFFER WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS COAUS I DONT HAVE MY FIX OF BOFH!!!!!

DAMN YOUY SIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

</rant>

on a serious note, well done, a work of genius.

AC - for obvious reasons

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Oli

Genius!!

pure genius as usual simon!!

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Happy

Excellent!

What a great way to round up the story, thanks Simon. I just feel sorry for anyone who missed the buildup.

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Platinum Cookie

Where do I get one of those platinum cookies?

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Stop

Where's episode 5??

Just checked the BOFH archive and confirmed that episode 5 of 2009 is missing!!!! Has the BOFH deleted it, shredded the only print out of it and wiped all archive records of it???

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Disappointing

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

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A welcome return to form, Simon

Nice to see a good return to the days of old. Please keep up the good work on a more regular weekly basis. Try prune juice - good for the mind and regularity, I hear.

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Probably

...the crappest in all the time it's been going, makes no sense and is about as funny as pig flu

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Coat

Oh well,

These documentaries are all well and good, but when is Simon going to write some fiction?

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Go

Platinum Cookies...

don't taste nice... but this has made my day.

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Paris Hilton

wow that sucked

im guessing this is the end.

Paris because even she knows this is not hot

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BOFH

That is both wild and wonderful. A great start to the month,

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Rob
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Stop

Seriously

What's going on?

Does simon not want to write BOFH anymore?

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Hmmm

well...then again.....no. Somehow this one just doesn't

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Flame

Is this

Judge Tomas Norström summing up at the close of the case against Monique Wadsted and Henrik Pontén for conspiring to pervert the course of justice, perchance?

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Paris Hilton

Platinum coookies?

I love the closing argument it is so detailed.

Paris because she would know what to do on a carpet..

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Anonymous Coward

Thorpe Trial

Very similar in tone to the Peter Cook summing up of the Jeremy Thorpe trial. Are they by chance related?

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Bored!!!

Huge Disappointment - I enjoy the BOFH, a useful reminder that the real world can and does bite the boss's backside - but this was just plain boring. Has Simon finally sold his franchise? Maybe this is why the previous episodes are only for paid up members.

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Coat

all this needs....

... Is a gravely voice over....

"In the world if I.T. their are 2 different and separate organizations.

The I.T. Department who investigate and solve serious Network issues.

And the managers who appose them...

...

...

These are their stories....."

<Clunk-Clunk>

Mine is the judges robe with the black hankie in the pocket....

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A Salutory Tale

And in Real Life too, is IT just as easy to Sweep Away the Dross and Dead Wood with a few Well Chosen Words of Clear Explanation.

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So what happened...

To episode 5 then?

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Boffin

available exclusExclusively to Register Platinum Cookie readers!

You.. you!.. Wait.. Where did the this carpet come from....

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Top wordsmithing

"perjurous casserole of untruths" - worthy of Stephen Fry indeed. A most entertaining BOFH.

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Happy

Bet the admin's @ the reg...

....are nearly amused about all the people asking to become a platinum cookie member

Classic BOFH!!!

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A
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Quality

Just great!

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Pirate

lead cookies

I guess there's a reason I'm a "lead cookie" Reg reader. I didn't get this BOFH. Zoom, right over my head it went. Thick as lead I must be...

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Joke

message from a lead cookie

oh come on... when are you going to release those missing episodes ? :(

don't forget that lead cookies can vary in shape, most common lead cookies come in the form of bullets through windows :P

//resident bastard signing off ... i'm off to buy some cookies from the local huntin^H^H^H^H^H^H cookie shop.

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Boffin

Pay attention, chaps.

For those of you asking where episode 5 is, it is here:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/17/bofh_gta/

And has been for a fortnight. It is also the top story in the 'most read' panel to the right of the story.

Goggles, as you should really wear your glasses if you are short-sighted.

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Pirate

A suggestion

How about some of the critics on here try their own hands at a BOFH type story? It's not as easy as you might think. I've been trying to write a set of BOFH TV scripts as an exercise, and it's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be when I started.

So, who's up for it? Let's have a competition. Winner gets induction into the Grand Mastership of Bastards, losers get induction into their central nervous systems at 400,000 volts.

Any takers?

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Anonymous Coward

Thorpe Trial 2

Is the BOFH and his author also a "player of the pink oboe", I think we should be told.

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Mat
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Not impressed

not that funny to be honest

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Gates Horns

Call yourselves geeks!?

I shake my head in despair at anyone who "doesn't get" this article. Unless the art of advanced trolling has somehow leaked out from 4chan and dirtied our beloved reg...

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Coat

Episode 4b...

... was pretty good, 4c was so-so, but 5b was excellent, especially with this episode to conclude the trilogy!!!

EMJ, click that button over there ------->> on the left side of the page and you'll see the other episodes, if that doesnt work, you can press alt +F4 and it will list all the episodes for you.

Time for coat and head to the bar... mines the ones with the prinout copies of episodes 4b, 4c, and 5b in the pocket!!

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Unhappy

My Account

Damn, that really makes me upset that I over-reacted to an article and deactivated my platinum cookie account in a fit of rage.

Which is making me even more upset! That's it! I'm leaving the El Reg forever!

(BTW, great episode as usual!)

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Anonymous Coward

Brilliant

Hell, Episode 5b is worth the Platinum membership alone.

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Jon

quite good

If you ignore the "platinum cookie" hidden episode bollocks at the beginning I thought this was quite funny actually and not the doom and gloom others have been portraying it as.

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