Jamaican doctors have warned of the dangers of daggering, after being presented with a forest of fractured penises over the last year. According to reports, daggering appears to be either a bizarre sexual practice or a music and dance craze. Or possibly both at the same time, if these videos are any thing to go by. Either way, …
what i want to know...
The videos are all well and good. i know what it is now, but i want to know is...
...how you get into that position in the first place
no pain no gain!
'Welcome to Jamaica, h-...'
Goodness Gracious !
My word, one would have to be an utter bludclaat to engage in such outrageous behavior.
Fantastic, my brain was telling me you can't make fun of peoples accents like that!
Then I followed the link and found it was a quote, so it must be okay. At least in jamaica they haven't started brainwashing people into political correctness like they clearly have here (case in point, myself reading this article and my brain telling me it was bad, albeit funny)
(Obligatory IT? icon)
Man, that's a priceless news paper..
Go read the Help me Pastor sections.!!
Interesting collective noun
"Forest of Fractured Penises"
We need a coffeed keyboard icon.
Sounds a bit like potential rape?
Point and Dagger?
<<There is a loud popping sound, excruciating pain and swelling>>
Doctor, doctor! Can you take away the pain, but leave the swelling??
Perhaps this story should have been run under Hardware?
(Mine's the cloak... and dagger)
Within a month this'll be the next big thing for kids over here.
Bloody eejat bwois.
"myself reading this article" Pfffft!
Looking for a word
I think there's a name for the style of having sex in which you pull the penis right out before each thrust. Can anyone remember what it is? Apparently it's not "daggering". (It's fun, but if you do it too fast or too roughly then you could injure yourself when you miss the target.)
If you're going to simulate rough sex on the dance floor I'd definitely recommend not having an erection at the time. Have real sex a few times just beforehand, perhaps? Or is there a kind of antiviagra one could take?
This is the funniest thing I've read in years! Other people in the office have noticed my failed attempts to hide my amusement and are about to ask what the funny thing is.
Should I own up and tell them I'm laughing at the idea of Jamacan Guys "Daggering" people with their cocks? I haven't even watched the videos, I daren't.
Me no speaks "Jive" Man
Thank gods I'm alone in the office. I hope I can get that grin of my face by the time I get home. My s/o tends to misinterpret it and I don't want to laugh when he does.
How stupid can you get? Talk about your brains in your britches peeping out.
also known as
The Pastor rocks! El Reg should have him write a column!!!
He only got his lip bit and nothing else broken off. All i can think is NSFW based on the headline and I can't take that risk. Their stupid behaviour will just be my guide.
About the very Jamaican Quote. I trust that the quote marks are true and honest since otherwise you are going to made to be very sorry by someone.... Also could we have version with really clear english sub-titles like on an old documentary, as my brain lost it about half way through. I'm not sure you can reliably parse Jamaican without using a 'special' cigarette.
Something like: "The organiser suggested that we rapidly find a partner and participate very enthusiastically in the dance.....".
@Steve - haven't looked yet - daren't! At a guess though - we don't really know who writes these things.
Is this an example of natural selection? If it is, which gene is being removed?
And 20+ posts on a todger tale without our favourite heiress getting a mention. Is this a record?
What do you mean 'translation'
I had no problem in reading the statement from the affected complainee.
It's in English, not much different from if an Essex or Manchester person was being reported properly as there would still be complaints abaht not reedin it right.
The man says he was encouraged by the DJ to thrust his genitals at female members of the audience. The chosen femal objected at his rather forward suggestion and instead of the expected willingness to comply with his wishes, bit his lip instead. She did not, however, release her grip on his lip, despite his pleading. hwen he called to nearby onlookers for assistance they were reluctant to come to his aid.
Me, I prefer the original version - it's shorter.
With such a graphic description of the pain...
...Jamaican me wince.
We're all going to jail for this
Presumably we'll all now get done for imagining a form of sexual behaviour that may cause injury. Thanks El Reg, see you in broadmoor.
@ Looking for a (s)word
> Or is there a kind of antiviagra one could take?
Try drawing a mental image of our beloved second home secretary, that should do the trick!
I'm no medic, but wouldn't it be more like an internal haemorrhage than a fracture?
I'll have to go now, my eyes are watering too much...
That's not an 'accent' (journalistic convention is to render all accents into the conventional written form of whatever language is being spoken), it's Jamaican patois, which is generally recognized as a language in itself, or at least a very distinct dialect of English, and usually rendered in its own written form in the local press - as seen here (the Reg is just quoting the Jamaica Star).
I couldn't ...
read that article without cringing - twice as a matter of fact.
What about compound fractures?
"Jamaican doctors have warned of the dangers of daggering, after being presented with a forest of fractured penises over the last year."
After the initial ow factor this had me in stitches...Hope no one has a compound fracture of the penis....
/Yes yes Im going
[quote] Or is there a kind of anti viagra one could take? [/quote]
you just need to keep this image in your head for such occasions....
Jah know!!! Everytime unnu write some foolishness like this mi vex!!!!!!
Penile appendages are muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured!!
As for 'daggering' - I don't know what to say...we come up with the weirdest 'dances'. Please DO NOT TRY THIS @ HOME!!! :} Stick to the 'gully creepa'
6+ month old story
The date of the Jamaica Star story is 9 October 2008 - why are we getting such old news?
For that won't watch the video...
Well, it basically looks like "grinding" to me. So, the chicks first were standing alone thrusting their hips, sticking their butts out (no, not bare...) and such. The guys walk up a few minutes into the vid REALLY grinding and thrusting away. It looks like they could be shagging right on the dance floor except the guys did not unzip their flys. I could easily see someone breaking their wang like that... what a shame, although I must admit I'd probably laugh if it didn't happen to me.
maybe hurts, but broken?
The human penis has no bone. Nothing to fracture. Sure, it can be bruised, painfully, but there's nothing to break.
"Penile appendages are muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured!!"
Although no bone is involved, "penile fracture" is the term generally used by urologists to describe traumatic rupture of the tunica albuginea/corpus cavernousm. And (if you exclude the smooth muscle fibres in the blood vessel walls) there isn't any muscle in a penis either - after all, without bone, to what would they be attached?
Can I cast another vote for a guest column from the Pastor?
Oh come on people
Me: Well I daggered her on the dance floor
Me: Yes, because if I didn't she'd bite my lip
@ Which idiot
"muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured"
Oh yes they can. Ever heard of the word "rupture"?
Otherwise, feel free to try, just don't pretend you weren't warned.
How the hell do some people come up with these ideas? Smoking pot? Bad beer? At least this idiocy seems to have the potential for an automatic, Darwin driven end.
Paris Icon not working?
Or is it not relevant?
Am I the only one?
To to think the title is a double entendre "Jamaica cracks down..." <fnarr fnarr!>. No? Must be just me then...
- Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy
- Feature TV transport tech, part 1: From server to sofa at the touch of a button
- Google straps on Jetpac: An app to find hipsters, women in foreign cities
- Updated Microsoft Azure goes TITSUP (Total Inability To Support Usual Performance)
- The Return of BSOD: Does ANYONE trust Microsoft patches?