The videos are all well and good. i know what it is now, but i want to know is...

...how you get into that position in the first place

Fantastic, my brain was telling me you can't make fun of peoples accents like that!

Then I followed the link and found it was a quote, so it must be okay. At least in jamaica they haven't started brainwashing people into political correctness like they clearly have here (case in point, myself reading this article and my brain telling me it was bad, albeit funny)

(Obligatory IT? icon)

<<There is a loud popping sound, excruciating pain and swelling>>

Doctor, doctor! Can you take away the pain, but leave the swelling??

-Gorrit.

Perhaps this story should have been run under Hardware?

(Mine's the cloak... and dagger)

Please?

Within a month this'll be the next big thing for kids over here.

Bloody eejat bwois.

Thank gods I'm alone in the office. I hope I can get that grin of my face by the time I get home. My s/o tends to misinterpret it and I don't want to laugh when he does.

How stupid can you get? Talk about your brains in your britches peeping out.

The Pastor rocks! El Reg should have him write a column!!!

He only got his lip bit and nothing else broken off. All i can think is NSFW based on the headline and I can't take that risk. Their stupid behaviour will just be my guide.

About the very Jamaican Quote. I trust that the quote marks are true and honest since otherwise you are going to made to be very sorry by someone.... Also could we have version with really clear english sub-titles like on an old documentary, as my brain lost it about half way through. I'm not sure you can reliably parse Jamaican without using a 'special' cigarette.

Something like: "The organiser suggested that we rapidly find a partner and participate very enthusiastically in the dance.....".

@Steve - haven't looked yet - daren't! At a guess though - we don't really know who writes these things.

I had no problem in reading the statement from the affected complainee.

It's in English, not much different from if an Essex or Manchester person was being reported properly as there would still be complaints abaht not reedin it right.

The man says he was encouraged by the DJ to thrust his genitals at female members of the audience. The chosen femal objected at his rather forward suggestion and instead of the expected willingness to comply with his wishes, bit his lip instead. She did not, however, release her grip on his lip, despite his pleading. hwen he called to nearby onlookers for assistance they were reluctant to come to his aid.

Me, I prefer the original version - it's shorter.

...Jamaican me wince.

> Or is there a kind of antiviagra one could take?

Try drawing a mental image of our beloved second home secretary, that should do the trick!

I'm no medic, but wouldn't it be more like an internal haemorrhage than a fracture?

I'll have to go now, my eyes are watering too much...

That's not an 'accent' (journalistic convention is to render all accents into the conventional written form of whatever language is being spoken), it's Jamaican patois, which is generally recognized as a language in itself, or at least a very distinct dialect of English, and usually rendered in its own written form in the local press - as seen here (the Reg is just quoting the Jamaica Star).

read that article without cringing - twice as a matter of fact.

"Jamaican doctors have warned of the dangers of daggering, after being presented with a forest of fractured penises over the last year."

After the initial ow factor this had me in stitches...Hope no one has a compound fracture of the penis....

/Yes yes Im going

[quote] Or is there a kind of anti viagra one could take? [/quote]

you just need to keep this image in your head for such occasions....

http://tinyurl.com/cuz3d9

wrote this?????

Jah know!!! Everytime unnu write some foolishness like this mi vex!!!!!!

Penile appendages are muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured!!

As for 'daggering' - I don't know what to say...we come up with the weirdest 'dances'. Please DO NOT TRY THIS @ HOME!!! :} Stick to the 'gully creepa'

The date of the Jamaica Star story is 9 October 2008 - why are we getting such old news?

Can I cast another vote for a guest column from the Pastor?

Preeeeety pleeeeaase!

To to think the title is a double entendre "Jamaica cracks down..." <fnarr fnarr!>. No? Must be just me then...