.. a way for more Grockles and Emmits to find their way here! Bugger!

I still think that Mebyon Kurnow could do us all a big favour and put a sign up at the Almondsbury Interchange saying "road south closed" send them all east then let them drive around the M25 till they run out of petrol.

For those that do get through, the big things in the field are called "cows" and the little things are called "sheep" they are where meat comes from. Yes dear, they do poo in the field, we've tried but they can't be taught to stand in line to use a toilet. But just because they drop their faeces where they stand doesn't mean that you can throw your rubbish down as well.

Oh, and please note, not everyone here is a farmer and most people don't own a tractor. And the next person who asks me to say "Oooh Arr" will get an Ivor Dewdney stuffed down their throat!

There are various twitterbots around e.g. http://twitter.com/UK_M5_Traffic, that have been helping to fill this gap for a while.

Now that some twitter users have got text messaging back, it will even send out text messages with the info.

Andy

Don't I have this on my satnav already?