No problem

Just use a straw to bypass the teeth.

I find what works is a really long flexible straw that runs all the way from the one litre "wine in a bag" sitting in your office drawer.

If you want a really good gravity assisted boost then sitting under the desk below the lever of the drawer helps you to drink faster.

What me? You say I have a problem?

Long been

a source of amusement that onanism is so close to oneophile.

Efros

i'd love to be invided to dinner

by this lot if sipping wine with dinner results in an hours continual contact with your teeth. They must get through masses of food over several hours

Heh.

"The University statement isn't entirely clear, but it seems probable that the teeth were no longer attached to cows during the experiments."

That made me giggle. thanks for making pre-pub time on a Friday more bearable!

SO!

Who cares!!!

So in fact...

... white wine doesn't stain your teeth at all. Tea and coffee does.

So it doesn't actually stain your teeth

the headline here is a far less impressive "black coffee stains teeth".

Or is it "University of the bloody obvious declare that acids erode enamel"?

Sod that ...

What I want to know about is the "Toxicology of Bovine Ingestion of Large Quantities of Ethanol" ... or what happens when a cow gets pissed.

/the one with the Camelback of Stowells Chablis stitched into the lining

Acids found to be corrosive!

In other headlines: Pope catholic, water wet!

We need a NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! button.

Masticating Cows

Any excuse to watch cows masticating.

Duh!

Surely the best way to avoid wine staining your teeth is to drink something else instead........

a former cow writes

Before the op in the early 80s I was a cow. Owing to lack of entertainment a herd of us used to hang around field corners knocking back bottles of liebfraumilch. But with our grassy diet and constant mouthful of saliva our teeth were fabulous.

As is typical in drinking tragedies such as this I fell on hard times and was forced to sell my precious gnashers to Hollywood. All the gummy stars there would rent whenever they needed a sparkling smile.

So any youngsters out there looking for celebrity-style mouthware should ignore advice about fancy whitening agents and eat grass!

Today's Headlines

People were (apparently) astonished today when scientists revealed that the colour of food or drink bears little relationship to its effect on teeth, dispelling the (apparently) widely-held belief that things of the same colour are naturally immune to one another.

Also in tonight's programme, we interview the Pope on his (apparently surprising) recent pro-Catholic comments, and a bear about his preferred toilet locations (apparently, it's mostly forests).

There I was, innocently reading a scientific discoure, when..

"but it seems probable that the teeth were no longer attached to cows during the "

experiments"

Drinking white wine while reading this was a mistake. You guys owe me a keyboard!

Shurley shome mishtake

You must mean:

The wages of vin!

Paris, 'cos she's a corker

Faux pas, me thinks

Ha, showed themselves to be bloody fools. Everyone knows that it's black tea and red wine, if your doing white wine, it's green tea. Ho ho. Oh it is truly too funny. What will they think of next? Perhaps a study that determines Dover sole stains your teeth when followed by a cabernet? LOL

Erm, dental research?

By Mr. Wolff?

Am I pointing out the elephant in the room?

This is a bunk study

Have these people never heard of the affect of saliva (which as there dentists they really should have!). Saliva neutralises the acid in wine (and basically anything else that goes in your mouth), and so guess what it stops being acidic! Wow who would have guessed.

And seriously who holds a mouth full of wine for an hour? If the wine is ever in my mouth for more then a few seconds before it passes to the regions below something is seriously wrong!

This is crap science and can we please have the address for the university who funded this, so we can point out the crap science and prevent this wanker getting any more money to waste on stupid studies! I hope the student fails her thesis for this! (Yes im harsh, but we do not need more university level dumbasses!)

Gin and Vodka

By scientific elimination, the only safe drinks are gin and vodka. And probably water if it's fizzy and comes in an expensive bottle. But if you're at work, don't overdo the water, people will start talking.