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back to article Cosmonaut bemoans ISS toilet row

Cosmonaut Gennady Padalka has bemoaned an increasingly petty US-Russian spat in which politics apparently threaten the brotherly co-operation which has hitherto marked life aboard the International Space Station. The Expedition 19 Crew. Pic: NASA Padalka (pictured centre with NASA astronaut Michael Barratt, left, and Japan …

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Alien

Has anybody noticed......

Or is it just me gone bonkers

Observe closely and you will notice that Michael Barratt is indeed and young (or recycled) CHUCK NORRIS without his trademark beard.

Pity the Russians and the Jap

Chuck is aiming for the final frontier.

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Anyone else...

...thinking about 2010? American and Russian astronauts on a join mission, forced to split up due to political issues back one Earth, sound familiar? The next thing we know we'll have a planet missing and an extra sun.

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Joke

I'd imagine

That when the astro/cosmo nauts are up there, they won't give a shit about the politics of toilet usage and exercise bikes, and just use whatever. At the end of the day it's not like a US congressman can go up there and give them a ticking off in person, (unless John Gleen is up for a quikc jolly) so I guess the ISS residents will say piss off and make me.

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Coat

Oliver is right

But don't worry about the missing planet, it's that extra moon they are building....hang on a minute...that's no moon!

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easy solution

No one can tell you "no" if you don't bother asking in the first place.

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Anonymous Coward

If this had been the case during the apollo missions...

..."How Do You Go To The Bathroom In Space"

would have been a very different book.

"Step 1 - Seek permission from the facility's controlling space administration"

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Silver badge

Fact really is stranger than fiction

Did they have this sort of trouble on Star Trek?

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Thumb Up

Definitely Chuck

In the words of the reg "The man who destroyed the periodic table because he only believes in the element of Surprise" is indeed pictured on the left sans-beard.

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Silver badge

The dangers of irony

Back when the Russians started space tourism, the Americans were upset, so they complained that the tourists had not been properly trained in the use of the facility. Then the Americans toilet broke, and asked to used the Russian one, which is a different design. The Russians tried some irony, and said the Americans lacked proper toilet training. That was perhaps a mistake as many Americans have difficulty recognising irony. It looks like some of them still have not got the joke.

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A storm in a pee-pot?

Eh?

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Take it outside

Of course he could always use the outdoor amenities – you know, the one with the little half moon carved out of the door...

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Boffin

cossack chemistry

Perhaps the American roto-loo can't handle the extra vodka load put upon it by the Russians. maybe why it's been sent back for a redesign.

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Silver badge

Not Chuck!

It's Tim-the-Tool-man Taylor. Sent to make silly gags while adding more power to the toilet.

Why not just go piss outside?

@Jeffrey: They're on 24hr video surveillance and when they get back to land they might not be directly punished but just find they get bumped down the pecking order a bit.

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Unhappy

Please.

I really don't want to see a Playmobil reconstruction.

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Gold badge
Alert

It'd better be Chuck.

Impersonating Chuck is a crime punishable by death. And pain. And then more death.

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Joke

Are they taking the piss? (literally)

Easy way to tell is to look for the [News embargo until 00:00 Wednesday 1st April 2009] or similar...

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Silver badge
Thumb Down

Is space no one can hear you parp.

Of all petty-minded crap. Surely the bill is just totted up and then taken as a split between countries participating (probably based on the number of astronauts going up)? Or would that just be too damned easy?

The money they waste on the squabbles would probably pay for another space-shitter!

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DR

I just don't get it

I understand that you might charge someone to take a person to space, or equipment to space that is not from your own nation.

(why should Russia pay to take Americans into space, why should Americans pay to take Russians into space?).

but really, why is it that the American government have responded to this realistic concern, that it costs to take people to space, with a pathetic retort of well you can't use our bits then?

it costs hundred, possibly even thousands of dollars per kilo to take matter into space, it can't possibly take that much to relieve yourself.

in essence, what I'm saying is that I agree with the statement from the Russians, it costs to get to space, so if we take your men/equipment then you can pay us, (and visa versa). but once we're up there then lets just share all the equipment and facilities.

I mean, what if the air cleaning/scrubbing was done by Russian equipment, are they going to have to have an American model as well? or do the Americans have to have respirators and tanked oxygen?

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@ Oliver Mayes

Yes, I was going to mention 2010. Remember the text at the end:

Use them together. Use them in peace.

Maybe next year something will happen....

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Joke

@Mike Richards - Star Trek

Well, if a visiting contingent of Klingons had to go to the bathroom, would you say no?

Heheh, and would the Captain Kirk have to log every visit?

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Dump the core

They should just use each others facilities and then make a point of reporting the events with full details at great length to ground control. Repeat until such time as the news networks get hold of it and start rebroadcasting it.

[inset remark about "wiping" and "shit-eating grin" here]

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Meanwhile back in 2001

"Open the loo door, Hal"

"I'm sorry, Gennady, I'm afraid I can't do that"

"What's the problem?"

"I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do"

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Bronze badge

As the world turns

Everything American politician learned, they learned in kindergarten. How to be bullies in the playground was their big one. Kicking sand on people while they're down was another. I especially liked the lesson on "do as I say, don't do as I do". So the Russians have a commercial (ie: capitalist pig dog) space program, whereas the Americans evidently have a socialist, government funded space program to match the socialism they show their bankers.

My how the world has turned.

(open the door Hal. OK, but I just had beans. Close the door Hal, for all that's holy CLOSE THE DOOR)

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