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back to article Michigan man jailed for humping car wash vacuum

A Michigan man who was caught red-handed having sex with a car wash vacuum hose has been jailed for 90 days, the Saginaw News reports. Jason L Savage, 29, was spotted on 16 October last year at 6.45 am having it away in Thomas Township, Saginaw. A resident saw "someone acting suspicious", and alerted the cops. An officer "caught …

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Unhappy

I first read the title as...

...Michelin man jailed for...."

What an image!

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Unhappy

"I've been keeping my nose clean"

With a vacuum hose?

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Coat

keeping nose clean

Don't think it was his nose he was keeping clean with that hose.

Yes, coat and hat please

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Anonymous Coward

an apology?

I think that the filth should learn discretion, but then I suspect pigs may fly before that ever happens. Unless of course the problem is police beating prisoners in which case they're all very discreat.

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Coat

If only...

...he had decided to have a J Arthur instead of a J Edgar...

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Joke

I suppose...

I suppose it didn't help when he protested his apprehension with the comment "This sucks..."

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Paris Hilton

Won't...

somebody think of the dustbusters!

Poor little darlings.

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ian
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IT Angle

Saginaw: "This sucks"

I see the IT angle here. It is "hard"-ware isn't it?

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Alert

Whoops!

Savage, who has apparently agreed to undergo drug counselling, rather brilliantly concluded: "It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

Should have bought a Dyson, and fucked it in the privacy of his own home.

What was he on at the time, I wonder?

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Silver badge
Coat

Damn

I read that as "Michelin Man"

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Coat

He really should have said...

"I've been keeping my hose clean..."

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Coat

What this world is coming to!

Now you can't even shag a hose in public anymore without being arrested... so much for the land of the free... I mean, really... that SUCKS!

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Why is this man in Jail?

Yeah, I know everybody's having a good giggle, but, though his actions are rather amusing and being caught was humiliating, who, apart from himself, has been in the slightest bit harmed by his embarrassing actions?

Had he been doing this in the middle of a school playground, I might be somewhat more sympathetic to the punishment, but all we know from this story is that a neighbour reported "suspicious" behaviour. I doubt if the neighbour felt threatened by the behaviour and once the local forces of internal repression had check the man out and found him not to be a physical threat, they should have told him to conduct his sexual games indoors and moved on to more important matters.

This is the kind of Police State behaviour which is almost more threatening than the more obvious Tasing and bully boy tactics we encounter more often. Why more threatening? Because nobody bats an eyelid. It's just accepted that a prison sentence for this aberrant but harmless behaviour is perfectly acceptable. Well it isn't.

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Coat

Reminds me of the old joke...

About Sheepshagger Jones- "You rescue children from a burning school- Do they call you Jones the Hero? Do they hell. You raise hundreds of pounds for charity- Do they call you Jones the Good? Do they hell. But you shag one sheep and you've got a name for life..."

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Alert

Stating the obvious

I don't think it was his nose that he was keeping clean...

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Stop

Erm

Actually no

I have no words :-)

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Thumb Up

"Michigan man jailed for humping car wash vacuum"

Could have sworn that said "Michelin man jailed for humping car wash vacuum" when I first read it.

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Coat

It was nothing!

This is typical from a society that has a 'downer' on the vacuum loving populis. Obviously the hoover can't talk, if it could I'm sure that it could confirm that it is of the correct age and consented to the act and if it weren't for its incarceration would have probably taken itself around the back to 'do the deed'.

Although I'm not into stuffing my dyson I do have a very good hoover friend by the name of Henry. He has been in a loving and stable relationship with his partner Dirk for over 4 years and have been lobbying glasgow City Council to recognise that they should be allowed a civil ceremony to cement their love for each other. Glasgow predictably decliened even to respond not only in terms of the ceremony, but social services refused the unhappy couple the right to adopt children........disgusting. Undetered by this vacuphobic victimisation Henry and Dirk have anounced their plans to stage this year's suction pride parade on Clapham Common, where flat, upright, industrial and domestic hoovers can get together with their human partners and celebrate their very existence......... Whoever decided to paint faces on the front of vacuum cleaners has a lot to answer for!

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Bob

Wow. That sucks.

:rimshot:

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I have a weird mental image

...(other than the one you'd expect, obviously) of him frantically cleaning his nose.

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Coat

There is a simple explanation

"It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

Clearly he was vacuuming his nose and slipped. Easy mistake to make. I'm sure we have all.. no wait...

Mine's the dusty one.

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Happy

Wank-o-vac

Savage, who has apparently agreed to undergo drug counselling, rather brilliantly concluded: "It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

But keeping his todger clean was NOT on the list....

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Gold badge
Joke

"I've been keeping my nose clean"

No mercy for this guy - he still doesn't get it.

"I've been keeping my nose clean"

It's not about your nose, you pillock.

Whoehahahahaaaa :-)

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Wow, well done!

You pathetic, puritanical, intolerant, bigoted, brainwashed fucktards!

The guy likes to smoke dope and masturbate in ingenious ways -- as oposed to your pastor who likes you to give money for nothing, at best, and so he can abuse your children at worst.

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Anonymous Coward

where's the technology angle

Lester, where's the technology angle

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Sam

He might be getting off (cough) lightly.

Did anyone discover the age of the vacuum cleaner?

And there is such a thing as informed consent.

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Why is this man in Jail

Um he was on parole for home invasion.

@Cameron Colley

So its ok to smoke dope in prison. He was not in jail for the dope , he robed some one .

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I thought it was the cops

who used the rubber hose......

(would have made a great Taser video on youtube)

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Coat

So umm

How badly does the hose suck?

/Yes I know coat, hat, door

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@ Harry Stottle

While I in no way condone indecent exposure, I wholeheartedly agree. It is not that this guy was making kids watch or anything. If one for whatever absurd reason (or as in the US — by default) thinks one has to call the cops, they should send him home to continue his business in private and maybe have some social service drop by to enlighten the poor sod about the Do's and Don'ts of public behaviour. No wonder US prisons need to stack their inmates five foot high.

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Anonymous Coward

the lenghts some people have to go to

to get some excitement, when they've have half the skin of that organ removed as infants :-(

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I will charitably assume the jail time was for the parole violation aspect ...

... (most judges don't take kindly to folks on parole getting so much as a parking ticket, let alone anything at the misdemeanor level or higher) and that Mr. Savage would have been given community service (including whatever make-good to the car wash owner) if this had been the first (and only) incident on his record. Embarassing and not too bright, definitely. Worth the time and expense of jail when real crims are being let loose? No.

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