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DARPA at phase 2 on human 'regeneration' tech

Michael H.F. Wilkinson

But can they grow.... 

Coat

Zaphod's extra head too?

Toastan Buttar

The same methods used by newts 

Getting pished ?

Anonymous Coward

*whimper* 

*whimper* I can't help but imagine the person who has unlimited regeneration abilities being brutally tortured in some dank hole for decades. Being able to regenerate is great but I can see it having downsides.

Anonymous Coward

Bobbitt. 

Coat

Title says it all, really.

Mine's the one with the three arms.

Edward Miles

A mere... 

Dead Vulture

...three words dedicated to DARPA's description? I'm disappointed El Reg, you're slipping!

Anonymous Coward

Hasn't something like this been done before for $6,000,000 

It is good to know that in future, when highly trained battle mice get seriously wounded and return home barely alive, DARPA can rebuild them. DARPA will have the capability to build the world's first regenerated mouse. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster, and under 1/10th the cost of the human prototype.

Chris

Regeneration, hey? 

Happy

Sounds interesting. If it works on primates, we might me able to grow Gordon Brown a brain at long last.

Anonymous Coward

That's all well and good, but... 

Alien

...doesn't it take about 15 - 20 years to grow an adult sized arm? I think I'd rather have the steam one...

Anonymous Coward

I, for one... 

Alien

...welcome our new, multi-limbed overlords.

Hah!

I always wanted to be the first with one of these.

Sad, eh?

John Smith

This may be bigger than it looks 

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This may be bigger than it looks

"reprogramming mouse and human skin cells to act more like stem cells"

Which implies that they have found a way to regress the cells to an earlier stage of their development, winding back the cellular control tape and restarting it (for those of a certain generation)

But getting the right number of cells to differentiate into the various types needed and following the right growth paths may be a bit challenging.

The implications are staggering.

Anonymous Coward

I feel pretty sorry for the mice in this 

Unhappy

Presumably in order to test these theories they're getting their limbs cut off to test the regrowth system.

alan

@whimper 

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from what I can see its not an ability, its a process they put someone through to heal the affected area (I'm thinking floating in a tank of liquid rich in whatever they use to get your cells to grow you new stuff) so they would be able to torture someone for decades only if they had the tank of goo on hand and didnt mind spending months waiting on them growing new parts.....

regardless sounds awesome. could the same process heal scars or torn tendons other than just cuts / missing limbs I wonder?

if they can find a way to make the patient's own cells behave like stem cells then great, time to start curing alzhiemer's etall..... (ye i know its spelt wrong)

Anonymous Coward

Old news 

As was reported in the news a couple of year ago, Professor Richard Lazarus has been working on similar technologies for a while and is already past the working prototype stage.

He's currently seeking funding from the British Government to develop it into a range of commercial products that could revolutionise heathcare in the UK and drastically reduce the burndon on the NHS, though so far he's only gained support from one popular MP.

Anonymous Coward

This sort of thing 

makes me as happy as a dog with two tails!

Anonymous Coward

tis gives a whole new meaning to the term: 

grow some balls man ...

Kristin McKechie

Infriging on LucasArts copyrights?? 

George L will be claiming the Bacta Tank as prior art and sue the extra legs off them.....

Michael H.F. Wilkinson

How long till we get 

Coat

spam mail offering use of this technique to "gain several inches"?

Anonymous Coward

Homer wanted to use this technology 

Joke

[Homer's arms are stuck in pair of vending machines]

Repairman: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.

Homer: They'll grow back, right?

Repairman: Oh... yeah.

[He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]

Repairman: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?

Homer: Your point being...?

Colin Barfoot

homo galgosioso 

Boffin

Any fool knows the best way to regenerate living membrane is to subject it to an electrical charge,

first demonstrated by Jon Pertwee in 1966, and explained in this world-changing scientific article,

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/119145644/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0.

While re-wiring the house I electrocuted myself twice and now there's three of me. We soon made mincemeat of that electrical job.

Nick Palmer

Well... 

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...that's my ski-boxing sorted...

TeeCee

More obvious application. 

Coat

The applications of this tech in the highly lucrative knob enhancement business have the potential to be, quite literally, endless.

No, I am not wearing a very long pink scarf under my coat.....

Anonymous Coward

Hmmmmm ..... 

Assuming the new part can be made to grow back bigger and/or better than the original (after all, it's programmable), does this mean that, once this gets into general use, a lot of men will cut their dicks off?

(Not me, though!)

Anonymous Coward

The lizard 

isn't this almost exactly how the Marvel villain "The Lizard" came about?

Anonymous Coward

Is Dr. Philips working on this? 

Joke

If not, it won't work. Although Admiral Hayes seems to think teething after receiving the Philips treatment might be a bit of a bother.