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back to article Text-message hoax threatens death by Wal-Mart

Text messages are appearing all over the US that warn women to stay away from Wal-Mart stores or risk being murdered. Fear not. This swarm of quasi-lethal smarm is a hoax, patterned after similar floods of cyber-crap that started back in 2005, according to überdebunker Snopes.com. On example of this fear-mongering was reported …

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Paris Hilton

...it's late

Well, it's nearly midnight and I'm drinking what the Germans call bier and slobbing about on the free wifi the bar provides...

all I can think of to say (other than I'm so drunk I can't ne arsed to rectify the spelling) is that I'm shocked that a gang would choose WALMART as a venue for an icing. I mean, that's like frigging ASDA here. Big-effing-shot!

'night....

Paris, cos its late........

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Why ...

... are wal-mart trying to get teens out on the streets at midnight?

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Mixed feelings about this

On one hand, keeping ppl the hell away from Sprawl- Mart is not a bad thing: we have given enough money to China, the Walton family, and schadenfreude- driven stock traders who profit from those who are too (* insert adjective here *) to know better than to throw money at the Beast of Bentonville. Enough already. Spend it locally (so that the state, county, and municipality will see some benefit) or keep it in your pocket.

On the other hand, there is a wrong way to win and this would be one example.

Was _Twilight_ even any good? The public relations offensive was fairly intense -- did the product actually deliver? (I'm guessing no, partly because the stylized lowercase 'l' in the word 'Twilight' reminded me too much of Kathleen Turner's "Is that a Pershing or a Cruise?" response to the sextoy brandished by Anthony Perkins in Ken Russell's _Crimes of Passion_ for me to take it seriously.)

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Paris Hilton

Oy! That kidney thing really happened!

...to some guy the uncle of a friend of a co-worker heard about.

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Coat

@ why ...

Marketing ploy to drum up another point or two on their gross sales?

Mine's the one with the smiley face on the back, that has a bullet hole in its forehead

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Ru
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Black Helicopters

"better organized, funded, well-entrenched, and widespread than Al-Qaeda"

Insert conspiracy theory here about how we need to create and name a suitable enemy to justify our current political trends.

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Black Helicopters

Which groups in the US

would have an irrational hatred of films like "Twiglet"? The subject matter is concerned with vampires & the occult so probably the same people who are obsessed with hating Harry Potter books or Hallowe'en - crazed fundamentalists (don't know why they bother with the "funda" syllable)

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Alien

wal de mart

The only thing shopping at walmark kills is your economy and jobs.

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@ Luis Ogando

ASDA is damn classy compaired to Wal-Mart. If that were possible.

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Well...

...if it not only fucks up WalMart's shit, but that of the Twilight marketing machine too, I say text away.

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@Ru

"Insert conspiracy theory here about how we need to create and name a suitable enemy to justify our current political trends."

We already have that. They are a world-wide gang, and the biggest threat to personal liberty that mankind has ever faced. They are called "politicians".

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Paris Hilton

WalMart kills economy

Which I can see clearly with the $2bn in bonuses awarded to hourly workers. As well as being one of the top six charitable donors in the world and (if I am not mistaken) the top retailer pulling a profit during a recession.

Now if only the hourly workers at our local stores gave two shits about customers, presentation, courtesy, and so on. Personally, I do not think the fuck-wits at our local stores, who far outnumber the good employees who DO care, merited bonuses. But so long as cash is flowing somewhere, right?

And so what if the $2bn was intended to stave off unionization? Explain how unionizing WalMart would do anything more than deteriorate what customer service remains and cause consumer costs to rise. You know that stocker who shoved past you with the huge loader? Imagine picking yourself up out of the shelves when he barrels past you knowing he cannot be fired without a union process, if he even had a manager who gave a crap because HE cannot be fired, either. If WalMart unionizes, I see a grand opportunity for K-Mart.

Aside from the rant, I notice how these messages loves to play on peoples' fears of gang violence. You cannot flash your headlights because a gang will shoot you. You cannot go into WalMart because a gang will shoot you. Actually that is a few fears in one: gangs, guns, possibility of death, invasion of your comfort zone. Probably more.

Paris, invading my comfort zone with the possibility of death.

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Bakeries

I rather like Asda, especially their fresh bread. Though Morrisons' runs them a close second!

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Dead Vulture

@kissingthecarpet

'funda' is actually *TWO* syllables.

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Twilight is out?

Seems I couldn't care less. Whether it's fundies spreading the rumors or some kids that would rather not have a crowd at their own walmart... which sounds more logical than the former, If something were to happen at a walmart, it would be on at least 3 video cameras and the cops would have faces, plates, etc of everyone in view within the hour and probably the perp within a day or two. At least that's what's happened the last few times someone's tried to pull crap at the walmarts in my area.

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Twilight

My ex got me to read that book (well, the entire series) and goodness me, as a Terry Pratchett fan, reading twilight made me want to go to the dentist and have my teeth pulled out, without anesthetic to dull the pain of such poorly written twaddle.

I'm packing due to a move so can't quote the opening line, but it was something like "i got on the 9:45 plane, my carry on was a pullover"

It all boils down to a typical vampire love story, about an underage teenager who wants to shag a 100 year old vampire, but her best friend turns out to be a werewolf who falls in love with her, until she has the vampires baby which the werewolf then falls in love with (and her writing is so predictable, I knew the wolf would fall for the baby just as soon as I figured she was pregnant, how anyone can read this, I'd rather read nu labour propaganda!)

People who queue up at Wallmart to get the movie (which by the account of my ex is crap) deserve to be shot for not buying quality books (my ex couldn't get her head around a Discworld novel, probably one of the reason she is now my ex!)

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ZM
Joke

@iPhone

At least I don't get SMS forwards from my iPhone-using friends, nor could I send them on even if I wanted to (which I don't) with my iPhone.

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Anonymous Coward

@ZM

Ah, that's the Reg I know and love

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Anonymous Coward

Twilight

Saw it on a long plane trip. Thought it was a bit crap. But then Madagascar II wasn't great, although I liked Quantum of Solace. It was a long trip, made longer by Twilight. Although the trolley D's were quite pretty. Sure I watched 4 films actually - can't remember the 4th one, so presumably that was worse than Twilight.

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@David Webb Re 'how anyone can read this'

I just wonder who this went on...

David's ex: you should read that book. David: no, not interested. David's ex: read that book! David: I really do not want to read it. David's ex: read it or you'll never get [insert whatever you like] again!

That explains a lot. After all, she's your ex by now. Then again, why did you read it?

Puzzled, EA

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@EA

Well, in a moment of pure honesty I will tell you. I wanted something for me and my ex to be able to discuss, as she couldn't get her head around the genius that is Pratchett, I had to dumb down to her level and read the trash that is twilight.

I mean, I was reading Asimov and A.C. Clarke when I was 8, I even started to read Clive Barker novels before I was a teenager (primary school we did a short story on UFO's, I think I was the only person in that school, other than teachers who would write the word electromagnetic interference). Sure, I may not have understood half of what I was reading, but I enjoyed it :)

Conversation was more along the lines of "so, what books do you like?" - "twilight, you remind me of Edward" - ".... ok, I'll read it!", Nation by Terry Pratchett is the best book I've read in a long time!

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Paris Hilton

Hoaxes

Yeah. I even have one to top that kidney thing. I woke up one day and found my brain stolen. Now I read the Register. I think. This is the Register, right?

--Glenn

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