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back to article Prof pooh-poohed in pig-v-whale hippo genealogy brouhaha

Rival Canadian and American boffins went head to head this week, battling to resolve one of the most hotly-disputed scientific questions of recent times. That is of course: are hippos a type of amphibious whale, or are they in fact a freshwater pig? Heading up the porker-potamus school is Professor J G M Thewissen of the …

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Title competition

May as well close entries now, I think this one's won it. Nice work (although I did spit some pasty out)!

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Coat

Hehe

Weird - I'd just read that story on a "Science" site on the adjacent tab; I like your version better - same info, much more entertaining. Pity you didn't cover the European Quantum Chromodynamics conference this week.

The one with Strange on the back.

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Happy

Brilliant headline

Just have to say that that is one of the best headlines I've seen for a long while!

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Stop

Bollocks

It is quite obvious that the Hippo is nither a pig nor a whale, it's a Hippo and has always been a Hippo forever since God created it.

I don't understand why these "scientists" keep making this evidence up, everyone with any common sense knows evolution is (as the title says), the so called "fossils" are probably unrelated creatures from the great flood (about 2345 years BC).

People actually believe this.

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"Prof pooh-poohed in pig-v-whale hippo genealogy brouhaha"

Best. Title. Evar!

Thank you for some much needed Friday lunchtime amusement, Mr Page!

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wrong way round

maybe a whale is really a type of hippo.

Anyhow, the whole is it a pig, is it a whale, is it superman? question can be simply resolved over the barbeque. Does it taste of pork?

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Save the Hippo.....etc

"..a colony of hippos imported to Latin America years ago as pets by recreational-chemicals kingpin Pablo Escobar are multiplying in fine style."

Save Endangered Species -- Do Drugs!

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Mobypotamus

Genius!

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Coat

There's only one place to settle this!

The hippodrome.

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Stop

Don't these people watch telly??

It's on the Beeb so it must be true: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00h6sbt/What_Darwin_Didnt_Know/

It's a hittopotowhale or perhaps a whaleopotomi, as any fule kno

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but but but...

Hippos can't be pigs, otherwise you'd get Hippobacon.

Mines the one with with the dolphin burger in the pocket.

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IT Angle

So add whales to the pig family

and dispute is closed!

It's not like whale ancestry is that clear anyway "probably descended from doglike creature" or similar judgements you get AFAIK.

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Joke

Pooh-pooh

Lewis is a military man, so he should no about the dangers of pooh-pooh more than us civvies. I quote one of the more reknowned military thinkers of the Great War:

"If there's one thing I've learnt from being in the Army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh. I knew a Major, who got pooh-poohed, made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh. He pooh-poohed it! Fatal error! 'Cos it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed... by pooh-pooh! "

- General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett

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Joke

I wonder how many boffins....

Samson could have killed with the jawbone of a hippo?

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@ Pete

"Does it taste of pork?"

No, it tastes of Chicken obviously!

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Go

Only one way to settle this!

Not only does this need to be settled in the hippodrome, but in fact with the protagaonists and their followers battling it out in mud, mud, glorious mud, there's nothing quite like it for cooling the blood (though whether of Mobypottomi or Porcinepottomical origin will have to wait for the referee's judgement).

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Clearly

Everything evolved from the primordial gloop, some gained legs, posteriors, mandibles, brains and then sentience. Then the internet, then YouTube, then the sentient creatures cast their gaze upon the comments laid forth on the Tube of You.. and decided we are all better off evolving back i puddles of slime that have no fingers.

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Captain... thar be pigs!!!!

Here, Here!!! they be swamp things forsure

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Anonymous Coward

No shit, Sherlock.

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet."

Academic jousting and posturing is to no avail. Dog has spoken and it is so written in his book. Atheists and sceptics can resolve the matter more scientifically by quantitative measurement of the methane output of whales, hippos and pigs. Answers on a postcard to Lord Mandelslime of Greenhouse Gasses.

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Anonymous Coward

It has to be said...

...but even by El Reg's own somewhat elastic standards, the IT aspect of this one is pretty tenuous. Unless you're suggesting the IT people as a whole have some connection with the river horse? Are we aquatic stallions? Or just a bit lardy round the middle....

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: It has to be said...

The IT angle is that HIPPOS USE LINUX.

I find 'it has to be said' is a bit like 'trust me', y'know?

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Gates Halo

The IT angel

It has to be said......

Tried to install linux on a hippo once, difficult? it was a pig of a job.........

(sorry, it is Monday)

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Not Linux, BSD

"The IT angle is that HIPPOS USE LINUX."

Actually, Linux hasn't been ported to HippoPCs yet. BSD runs well on them, though, as it does on other big, nearly bullet-proof systems.

How did I miss this article earlier in the week?

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