"If a human cannot measure the time difference between a page rendered in different browsers wtf does it matter, Google stfu."
This is mistaken - as well as boorishly ill-mannered. (STFU, indeed!).
Microsoft would like people to think the appearance of a static page from a cache is what counts - hence the recent false claims about the speed of IE. (It's actually painfully slow in use compared to the alternatives - which is precisely why they're trying to throw sand in the public face in the hope that people don't realize that.)
Deliberate misrepresentation from MS - hence the accompanying avatar.