Maybe a NSFW would be nice before opening this. I'm so glad I didn't manage to check this at work today.

formerly, not formally.

reckless, not wreckless.

Maybe should add the branch:

Is the PC worth than $500?->Yes

Is the Screen larger than 13''?->No

>You've been ripped off by Sony

What about Windows XP or Windows Vista? Those are cut down versions of the real Windows lacking any networking functions.

Now I know it's Friday and I promise I have not got the beer goggles on yet, but it looks like you forgot the UMPC category that Sony created for itself. In case you are not as old as me thats Ultra Mobile PC. Perhaps you need to find a new pub with bigger beer mats to draw the new chart on!

Man, this has to be, like, the ultimate flowchart.

Or it would be, with an infinite feedback loop ("I'm stuck", really? Can do better)

I thought all laptops got renamed to notebooks by lawyers who didn't want companies sued when that laptop burn the legs of the user or cooked their bits to stop any more kids.

Most of these netbooks are more expensive and slower than my old laptop. The cost of equivalent computers is supposed to fall with time. Taking out the DVD and shrinking the screen and using only half a CPU should reduce the price.

I am sure the term 'Netbook' was coined because distributors did not like the word 'cheap' in the title. They wanted to include £300+ computers in the same category as the ones that were selling like there was no recession.

You could have done it without channeling Ted, though.

If I roll a 5, do I lose a turn?

My Netbook (Asus Eee PC 901) has a video port...

no.. they'd be asshats in that reference...

However an asshat will likely have too much hardware in the chassis.

The yes/no bits are around the wrong way. Ultrathins don't have video (except HDMI) whereas Netbooks usually DO have at least 15-pin video out.

I think the question there should be does it have 15-pin D-sub video out yes-> netbook or similar branch, no -> ultrathin

There's also no path for 'aircraft carrier' - notebooks with screens over 15"

Acer Aspire One == Ultrathin??

This puppy is small, but definitly *not* thin

(eg thicker than the 13" *laptop* of my sister)

PS: That's a complaint about the chart, not the AAO.

I want the thing to be small but not "normal thickness" is fine with me.

On n-th thought, with "video ports" maybe having some meaning unknown to me that cannot evaluate to "VGA 15-pin D-sub", it would fall into the (ex-)netbook category which is a silly but not too bad name.

SSC is still best.

While El Reg's easy to decipher tiny portable computer flow chart covers most of the basics, some important categories have been forgotten. Gigabyte's website helpfully lists a whole slew of classifications for the wee beasties including MID, UMPC, Touch Note, Booktop, Thin Note and Notebook.

It's as if they handed a focus group slips of paper with 'note', 'book', 'touch', 'lap' and 'top' written on them and then had them pull them of a hat randomly and rearrange them until they got bored. Presumably it was thirsty work and some wag took the one marked 'lap' and scribbled an order for three lattes on it when he popped down to the shops. Hence the M912, one of which I happen to own, is curiously referred to as a 'Cafe Book'.

http://www.gigabyte.com.tw/Products/notebook/Products_List.aspx?NoteBookType=Caf%C3%A9%20Book

I want a 2nd flow chart to answer that question.

No clever? Not funny?

The Reg article was both. You're neither. You obviously need to get completely shitfaced on cheap lager. And get a girlfriend if that's possible.

As to the flowchart, there's no mention of Pentium II and PC66 SDRAM so I guess mine isn't a Netbook, is it?

They never get anything right...

According to your flowchart, my £199 HP Mininote 2133 is a ultrathin.. I might ebay it, and when the buyer complains, direct them to this authoritive article from a reputated website...

...after I pick the computer, I still do not know which 20 fast food meals go best with my ultra-lapheld-net-mini-nini-sub-book-handtop thingy! HELP!

-dZ.

you forgot "is it made out of paper?" then its just a book

How long is 13" in El Reg standard linguine (lg)?

You set these standards so you really should stick to them.

Does it run specialized software > Yes > It's a handheld > No > Really? Let me see it. > Look. > http://www.robertdyas.co.uk/P~146034~Inkia+Mini+Notebook+with+Built+in+Wifi

@Adam

Damn right - the D420 rocks. Got mine for under £250

Weight, from the Dell website - "approximately 1.36 kg (3.0 lb), with a 12.1-inch WXGA display and 4-cell battery"

The build quality's awesome -magnesium alloy casing as with all their business class laptops.

One of the best thing's the dock port though - got mine hooked up to 2x22 screens @ 1650x1050.

Show me a netbook that can do that...