So, you've got $500 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, and you've got your heart set on a computer (and maybe 20 fast food meals). A small, cheap computer might be just the thing for you. Miniature computers are just about the hottest thing to hit the PC market since probably the last time something cheap came out when …
Maybe a NSFW would be nice before opening this. I'm so glad I didn't manage to check this at work today.
you forgot an arrow back from <360 quid>.
Why can't I get a date?
This is just the sort of shit we need on beer night.
/me goes to print out diagram for all the birds in the local.
Think that answers the "Why can't I get a date?" part of the useful stuff to know on a Friday night article.
But but but
I don't have any of those.
I have a Legtop!
Well, two of them to be precise, Eee 701 & 900.
Not clever not funny
It appears there is some pathetic prat using the good offices of the Reg to swear away in some dim hope that we're going to be impressed. Grow up or get back under whatever stone you crept out from.
Homophone Corner, Phonetic Spelling
formerly, not formally.
reckless, not wreckless.
Maybe should add the branch:
Is the PC worth than $500?->Yes
Is the Screen larger than 13''?->No
>You've been ripped off by Sony
What about Windows XP or Windows Vista? Those are cut down versions of the real Windows lacking any networking functions.
"Categorization separates us from the animals"
Animals categorise everything into:
a) Things to eat
b) Things to fight
c) Things to *ahem* mate with
d) Things to run away from
Sony won't be happy!
Now I know it's Friday and I promise I have not got the beer goggles on yet, but it looks like you forgot the UMPC category that Sony created for itself. In case you are not as old as me thats Ultra Mobile PC. Perhaps you need to find a new pub with bigger beer mats to draw the new chart on!
Man, this has to be, like, the ultimate flowchart.
Or it would be, with an infinite feedback loop ("I'm stuck", really? Can do better)
laptop = notebook
I thought all laptops got renamed to notebooks by lawyers who didn't want companies sued when that laptop burn the legs of the user or cooked their bits to stop any more kids.
Forget 'Netbook'. 'Small CHEAP Computer' please
Most of these netbooks are more expensive and slower than my old laptop. The cost of equivalent computers is supposed to fall with time. Taking out the DVD and shrinking the screen and using only half a CPU should reduce the price.
I am sure the term 'Netbook' was coined because distributors did not like the word 'cheap' in the title. They wanted to include £300+ computers in the same category as the ones that were selling like there was no recession.
My Samsung has video out (VGA) - according to your flow it is now an ultrathin and not a netbook©? Or do you literally mean ports plural?
Or am I drunk already...?
You could have done it without channeling Ted, though.
Netbook vs. Laptop - The Board Game
If I roll a 5, do I lose a turn?
My Netbook (Asus Eee PC 901) has a video port...
Shut the fuck up, you fucking fucker. It's fucking Friday, so maybe you should get a fucking life. Fuck.
net-top, lap-top - net-book ????????
I, as like many red blooded males out there generally rest there computing power on their wifes/girlfriends rumps after they have passed out in front of the TV after a hard days work, should these be called "butt-tops"?
Mines the one with Men are from mars, women are from M&S in the coat pocket
no.. they'd be asshats in that reference...
However an asshat will likely have too much hardware in the chassis.
The diagram reflects...
my thoughts exactly. Now on to March Madness!
Re: phonetic spelling
Phonetic Spelling -- First "Haptic Response", now Phonetic Spelling? what on earth will they come up with next in those handhelds?
my eee pc 901 is a laptot
The yes/no bits are around the wrong way. Ultrathins don't have video (except HDMI) whereas Netbooks usually DO have at least 15-pin video out.
I think the question there should be does it have 15-pin D-sub video out yes-> netbook or similar branch, no -> ultrathin
There's also no path for 'aircraft carrier' - notebooks with screens over 15"
All the picky comments?
I just thought this was funny. Good work 'Reg :-D
i like the chart, but...
Acer Aspire One == Ultrathin??
This puppy is small, but definitly *not* thin
(eg thicker than the 13" *laptop* of my sister)
PS: That's a complaint about the chart, not the AAO.
I want the thing to be small but not "normal thickness" is fine with me.
On n-th thought, with "video ports" maybe having some meaning unknown to me that cannot evaluate to "VGA 15-pin D-sub", it would fall into the (ex-)netbook category which is a silly but not too bad name.
SSC is still best.
It's the most SFW article I've read on El Reg. It's a got flow chart. How much more FW can you get?!
Pairs because she's always hard work...
While El Reg's easy to decipher tiny portable computer flow chart covers most of the basics, some important categories have been forgotten. Gigabyte's website helpfully lists a whole slew of classifications for the wee beasties including MID, UMPC, Touch Note, Booktop, Thin Note and Notebook.
It's as if they handed a focus group slips of paper with 'note', 'book', 'touch', 'lap' and 'top' written on them and then had them pull them of a hat randomly and rearrange them until they got bored. Presumably it was thirsty work and some wag took the one marked 'lap' and scribbled an order for three lattes on it when he popped down to the shops. Hence the M912, one of which I happen to own, is curiously referred to as a 'Cafe Book'.
where the flow chart on why I don't have a date?
I want a 2nd flow chart to answer that question.
Great and fun chart ;)
By the way, how would you call a PC with a 13" screen, a 128GB SSD, an optical drive, Vista Pro OS (and soon Windows 7), weighting less than 3 pounds and with the best keyboard in the industry?
A Thinkpad x301!
It's ultrathin, ultraportable and definitely not a plain old laptop ;)
Granted, it costs a "little more" than $500, but it you are a true "road warrior", that's might be the best choice today.
But if you or any of your readers have a better suggestion in that - let's call it "I've got to have one" - laptop category, I am all ears.
Bah. I own a Vaio P. This enables me to point out a clearly missing category above. If it's smaller than 13.3", worth more than $500, and doesn't have an optical drive, it's *clearly* a posetop.
@ Paul Pounds
You actually *own* an M912? Sweet Jesus, they do exist after all! :)
They're all fscking laptops
A notebook is a small paper book for writing notes in.
If you have a computer which is all in one piece and the screen folds down over the keyboard, then
you have either a small laptop, a medium sized laptop, a big laptop, or some other sized laptop.
@ Peter Fox
No clever? Not funny?
The Reg article was both. You're neither. You obviously need to get completely shitfaced on cheap lager. And get a girlfriend if that's possible.
As to the flowchart, there's no mention of Pentium II and PC66 SDRAM so I guess mine isn't a Netbook, is it?
In True Register Style
They never get anything right...
According to your flowchart, my £199 HP Mininote 2133 is a ultrathin.. I might ebay it, and when the buyer complains, direct them to this authoritive article from a reputated website...
Yes, that helps, but...
...after I pick the computer, I still do not know which 20 fast food meals go best with my ultra-lapheld-net-mini-nini-sub-book-handtop thingy! HELP!
made out of paper
you forgot "is it made out of paper?" then its just a book
How long is 13" in El Reg standard linguine (lg)?
You set these standards so you really should stick to them.
Not a handheld...
Does it run specialized software > Yes > It's a handheld > No > Really? Let me see it. > Look. > http://www.robertdyas.co.uk/P~146034~Inkia+Mini+Notebook+with+Built+in+Wifi
What To Get Instead Of A Crapbook
Ebay: D420 look at completed listings, they go for £250-£300 tops. (OH HAI, LESS THAN £360!)
What you get:
Processor at least 2x faster than Atom
Full size screen (1280x800), not crappy 1024x600
Good build quality
Proper (40GB+) hard drive size
Other components proper spec
Almost as good battery life (~3 hours)
I'm sure there are other 12" ones around, just stay away from these crapbooks. You get what you pay for. Most of your money probably goes on the retailer, packaging, transport rather than your actual item if you buy one of the cheapos.
2kg isn't anywhere near 'featherweight'. I won't buy a laptop which weighs more than 1.5kg.
...is itself an utterly shit description in my books. Sure, you can sort of use a 'laptop' when it's perched on your lap, but it's pretty bollox to do so IMO (though I grant you a significant minority of folks do just that). Give me a table or some other form of surface underneath the thing, please, not my bloody lap.
Not really sure what to call them instead though - "ickle computer" perhaps.
Also, WTF is with the flowchart - specifically the "You're holding a wallet you ass" - arrrggghhh, it should be "You're holding a wallet you arse".
Repeat after me, ARSE not ass, ARSE not ass, ARSE not ass...
Lastly, @ Adam Williamson / 15:04 - oh, look how ladi da we are, so one wouldn't contemplate a laptop that weights more than 1.5kg. Guess what, your tiny dick waving competition doesn't impress anyone - it's just a bit of electronics, and that's not a measure of a man.
Toshiba Libretto 50CT anyone?
What on earth would this be considered... other than ancient?
Damn right - the D420 rocks. Got mine for under £250
Weight, from the Dell website - "approximately 1.36 kg (3.0 lb), with a 12.1-inch WXGA display and 4-cell battery"
The build quality's awesome -magnesium alloy casing as with all their business class laptops.
One of the best thing's the dock port though - got mine hooked up to 2x22 screens @ 1650x1050.
Show me a netbook that can do that...
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