He's BACK!!!

Once a month simply is not funny!

Lets picket el-reg central, until we get more regular coverage on the exploits of our Bastard overlord!

One a month?

*cries-in-beer*

Mid March and we're only up to the third instalment of the year.... I shall be writing to ask for my money back.

I hate to think what the PFY is going to do when he finds out what those bruises really are! :)

Saves on the cost of a roll of carpet and quicklime!!

Great stuff.

LOVE IT!!! Thanks for brightening my friday up!!!!!

Come on Simon one episode a month is WAAAAAAY TOO LITTLE!!! You got us hooked now keep delivering man or we the Reg Readers will have to conspire and replay out fav episodes... with your reg liason as the boss...

Hee Hee, It's great to see how smooth The Bastard can be in a tight spot. Victimising the cowardly PFY put just the right polish on it. After all it is what PFY's are for.isn't ? Little bitches.

Gotta say it makes me want to abuse the herd a little this morning.

Thank You Simon

Paris. Simply because she's an expert I'd like to have work me over...

There was a delay in reading, the light bulb coming on and the coffee hitting the monitor. Love it :-)

Now we're cooking with Pro Gaz. :-) ........ ""I have gift vouchers for several major curry houses, an open tab at a number of large licensed establishments and a morally casual attitude," she responds." ....... for First Class Travel, Satisfaction Guaranteed.

Who doesn't respond XXXXStreamly Well to Honey Perfectly Phormed and Delivered?

Nice One, Simon........ that brought Flashback and more than a just a few Most Pleasant Memories Oft Repeated in the Cause of Promoting Excellence and Trust in Bi/Multilateral International Relations/Covering Operations to Cloud Clandestine HyperRadioProActivity...... Astute Plays. :-)

"I have gift vouchers for several major curry houses, an open tab at a number of large licensed establishments and a morally casual attitude," she responds.

Brilliant! We need more of these.

Paris, because she has a morally casual attitude too.

But what is with the long waits between episodes?

No MiG icon so this will have to do - THANKS (and its about time? hehe) Great start to my Friday!

Can i have the name of the supplier please.

Was for BOFH to have her arrange the thicknecks have a party for the PFY to make it more realistic. Need to keep up the image, after all.

Thanks Simon.

Never mind the quality, feel the freebies. Send her round please.

And a return to weekly updates from the Bastard would be most welcome.

The BOFH gets (gasp!)... the girl?

What is geekdom coming to? [other than dangling prepositions...]

Fine rendition, please keep them coming only MORE frequently! My addiction is such that a month is tooooooooo long!!

Mine's the one with all the back editions of BOFH in the pocket!

Robert Conlon> Gotta say it makes me want to abuse the herd a little this morning.

There's a mental picture I didn't want after the closing paragraph. Please assure me you're referring to lusers??

Not only are we reduced to 1 episode per month now, but El Reg has obviously signed up someone to 'ghost write' the column.

While all 3 (yes count them, 3) episodes this year have been mildly humourous they certainly don't create the same rib-aching effect as episodes in previous years.

As for all those that have commented positively - CAN YOU ACTUALLY READ? Did your MUMMY have to write your comment for you? Have you compared these latest watered-down, inneffectual musings with the brilliant, thought provoking, side-splitting, keyboard-ruining, monitor-staining episodes of previous years or are you just mindless sycophants?

Enough is enough. If Simon isn't available to write this column then just say so and kill it, rather than allow his reputation to continue being tarnished by these pathetic substitutes.

Lets see if El Reg has the guts to allow this comment through - my last two didn't make it, probably due to equally disparaging remarks.

P.S. If Simon really did write this column then I will expect no less than a visit by two or more people armed with cattle-prods, er, sorry, circuit testers.

Oh, goodie! I check every Friday, of course, and was delighted today to find a new episode. Simon, keep up the good work. I won't complain about the reduced frequency of late because when you do at last produce a new BOFH it is a special treat.

<undeserved cynicism> Just please don't trade that special treatitude for story quality! </undeserved cynicism>

'mon... sort it out... not NEARLY often enough.... Bl00dy YAHOO!!! gets more coverage than this !

Disgruntled (but laughing)

a candy dispenser and #&# candy that came from china. Mmmmm. Tasty melanite.

WTF is wrong with people that can't wait patiently for a BOFH installment, choosing instead to dole out abuse for a free article either not updated to a set time schedule, or without exactly 7 gut-wrenching laughs?

Do they not realise that Simon, as the creator of the BOFH, has diabolical plans for lusers that annoy? You would think the spade, carpet, & quicklime would motivate fucktards of the 3rd order.

Maybe abuse motivates other humour writers (something I doubt), but the BOFH is the BOFH for a reason. Looking forward to the installment where BOFH handles the situation at hand.

I am very pleased with the quality rather than quantity model. Carry on, Simon!

Phew, thank <insert deity of choice here> for that, I thought everyone at Reg Central had died.

While obviously the second of your scenarios appeals more to my 'angry-young-man' side (and at my age I take that as a compliment, considering I started in this business more than 30 years ago), I fully accept your sanitised version of the truth and will stand down from my obviously subversive and juvenile attitude.

Obviously at least one of my previous comments got wiped out by net goblins before reaching you. I can't remember including anything too 'twatty' in any of them (good word, BTW), certainly nothing that Simon (if he is indeed, as you assert alive and well but unable to contribute as frequently these days) wouldn't laugh off, but still, Friday afternoons being what they are...

Still undecided about page 43 or 51. I might just have to toss something to decide.

;-)

P.S. Nice to know that even moderators have a sense of humour.

"Sometimes I have to stand over him myself and intermittently thwack him over the head with a steel ruler."

Need a new intern?

For the past several years BOFH has been something to look forward to every Friday. Because of this year's move from weekly to monthly I had actually forgotten to look forward to hitting The Reg this Friday.

'Sometimes I have to stand over him myself and intermittently thwack him over the head with a steel ruler.'

Yes Miss, please may I have another...

Don't suppose you have any more vacancies for interns do you? I can't promise to be a trembly panty-wetty type, but I am only 25 and have a "can-do" attitude. In particular I'm attracted to the role due to the prospect of your good self administering "punishment sessions" with your steely ruler, especially once a brief Google of your name has pulled up some of your...writings.

Sadly I'm thinking you lack the morally casual attitude I'm envisioning, although from the behind-the-scenes looks we've had of El Reg, I'm given to understand there is at least a rapport established with several local conveyors of Indian food and licensed beverages, if not a company account....

I missed most of the day, and so the chance of reading this during the hours I'm paid, running round fixing problems caused by sub-par cable...

Fucking scousers

Excellent though, keep 'em coming!

For many years, before the BOFH became entangled in some bizarre weekly schedule, I waited patiently, drooling with anticipation for the next installment. I may be alone, so very, very alone in this, but I am delighted that the BOFH is no longer hitting the station on a given day, I like to think he is now being given a proper amount of gestation time.

All the whining about "not enough, not enough" simply proves to me that I am not the only addict out here, but I'm afraid that some of us have a funny way of showing appreciation. Complaining about this situation sort of seems like something a luser would do, whut whut?

Thanks, Simon, it was a delicious read - I think the line "torn between a rock and a hard place" made me pull a muscle in my face, you bastard. Whatever is diverting your time, I hope all is well and thanks for the BOFH, I'm glad to see him whenever he deigns to crawl through the door, unshaven and wreaking of last nights excursions.