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back to article Homosexuality does for UK blue duck population

A couple of male blue ducks have pretty well done for hopes that the species might propagate in the UK after eschewing the advances of a female in favour of some light boy-on-boy, the Telegraph reports. The pair of gay drakes - named Ben and Jerry - resisted the advances of female Cherry at Arundel Wetland Centre in West Sussex …

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Ben and Jerry .....Cherry........

I'm trying to think of an ice-cream joke.......I'll come back later.

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Heart

They're not gay...

...they're greenies. They know the dangers of:

A) the introduction of non-native species in a foreign environment

B) in-breeding.

This is why they have made the decision that breeding is wrong and have withdrawn from the gene-pool. I nominate them for a special Darwin Award.

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Coat

Ain't nowt new about it...

...homosexuality in animals is common, ongoing and well documented. Of course, you don't hear about it often in nature documentaries, probably because the broadcaster is worried about the viewer's "sensibilities".

From 2004:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0722_040722_gayanimal.html

"Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York's Central Park Zoo have been inseparable for six years now. They display classic pair-bonding behavior—entwining of necks, mutual preening, flipper flapping, and the rest. They also have sex, while ignoring potential female mates."

Chinstrap. Heh. Heh. Heh.

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Boffin

"natives of New Zealand"?

So, um, why are they intentionally trying to introduce a foreign species in the UK? What's the logic behind that?

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Of course there are gay animals

Or did you think that animals maintained an equilibrium population through celibacy?

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Flame

Duck Off

The end of the world is nigh!

We've been warned about this sort of thing when god's(tm) creatures start homosexual relationships. These duckies should be removed from the sight of women and children immediately.

Please, think of the children!

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Dead Vulture

Observed closer to home

We have two male pet rabbits that cuddle each other, clean each other and generally arae far tidier than any of the others. They amke a lovely couple and spur the advances of their amorous female co-habitors.

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Dead Vulture

Chinstrap?

Chinstrap? Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

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Linux

You forgot to link the gay necrophiliac mallard duck article on El Reg!

Kees Moeliker's paper "The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos" ...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/03/09/gay_duck_honour/

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Boffin

Hello, duckie!

Ben and Jerry? Poor show, centre warden Paul Stevens.

I'd have called one "Dorothy", and the other "Friend of Dorothy".

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Coat

How much for those ducks?

I don't care! Just send me the bill!

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Wait wait

But the Christians say its not natural.

Disclaimer yes I'm religious but I am able to think

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Joke

To Quote Blackadder's Doctor....

... better a quack than a duckie.

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Here's your chance

The government never shies away from giving a few bob to boffins that want to study gay animals, so here's your chance if you want a piece of the gay-animal-research action.

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Coat

That secondary school principal...

Back in secondary school, the vice principal gave us a "lecture" about sexuality, and told us about how homosexuality was unnatural, because there are no homosexual animals. He also told us that the day he ever watched two animals engaging in homosexual sex, would be the day that he would accept gays.

Seems like he's gonna have to accept it then...

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I suppose the zoo has checked properly.

Unlike the Japanese one reported here.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/27/polar_bear_breeding/

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Linux

Apart from badly

how exactly does a duck whistle?

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Gates Horns

The Pope........

spoke out today ,he is also against gay Ducks (or was that "duckie") apparently.

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Which just goes to show...

...that homosexuality isn't very clever, from a Darwinian perspective. Though it's really quite rare for animals to be exclusively homosexual – usually it just seems to be a case of mistaken identity due to raging hormones – so maybe Cherry just isn't their type?

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Linux

Who's a gay duck

This behaviour isn't new. In fact the 2003 Ignobel for biology, commended research detailing the first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard

http://www.nmr.nl/nmr/pages/showPage.do?itemid=1930&instanceid=16

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Go

This is the sort of news story...

.......that should be shown to all the religous nuts who think that homosexuality is a godless sin rather than a naturally occuring sexual preference in the animal world.

Of course, religious nutjobs think that they and they only are right about this sort of thing despite having no proof of their position whatsoever!...

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@ Frank

Ben & Jerry's snub Cherry Garcia in favour of Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

Will that do?

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Joke

"Cherry has taken the snub pretty well "

Probably a lesbian.

A duck goes into a drug store and asks to buy a tube of Chapstick. The clerk says, "That'll be $1.99." And the duck responds, "Just put it on my bill."

A few hours later, the same duck goes back into the pharmacy and this time tells the clerk that he needs to buy a condom. The clerk sarcastically says, "So, should I put this on your bill?" And the duck says, "Hey, I'm not that kind of duck."

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Paris Hilton

Nothing new

Many bird nests are homosexuals. However, the species still reproduce through infidelities with the other sex...

I've been trying to explain to my curate it was all natural, but for some reason, he started spouting about Sodom and the 7th commandment...

Do I need to explain PH?

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IT Angle

@ Andy

"Which just goes to show ... that homosexuality isn't very clever, from a Darwinian perspective."

Actually, it may in fact be incredibly clever: homosexuality may be an effective way to prevent defective genes from being generationally transmitted and thus dead-ending the gene(s) in question. It's been seriously suggested.

Everyone gets to have great sex with no risk of potentially passing on some combination of devastating inherited disorders.

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Linux

Sigh

It is a darwinian trait to draw parallels between human and non-human animal behaviour and use it as a model for humans. Any Christian who starts doing that needs to go back to their Bible.

According to the Bible, the difference between humans and all other animals is that humans is that humans were made in "God's likeness." Since God isn't human we can conclude it doesn't mean physical likeness, but that we were made with the ability to make moral decisions, which includes the ability to accept or reject God's leadership.

Me? I'm a tux-billed fatty-puss.

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Of course ducks are gay

Have they never seen Queer Duck?

http://www.sho.com/site/queerduck/home.do

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Of course Cherry is happy

Ben and Jerry will have decorated beautifully - with tasteful furnishing and fabulous style

they probably do all the cooking and cleaning too.

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Ah

What a wonderful world. Rampaging roos and gay ducks. You wouldn't be dead for quids.

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Linux

Let me be the first....

...to welcome our blue, camp, feathery avine overlords.

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@Eddie Edwards

Yes, funny and 'insightful', well done. The best I can come up with is 'Ben and Jerry wont do Cherry', but somehow it doesn't seem crude enough.

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16:30 - 23:00 GMT

And not one "Hello ducky" comment, what is the world coming to.

>the blue ducks - natives of New Zealand

No need to say more really, all the kiwis (along with their close neighbours) that go to England seem to set up home in Earls Court unless times have changed and they've moved elsewhere.

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LPF
Paris Hilton

Come on peeps...

Of course its unatural! The whole point of having two different sexes is to produce children

by natures perpective. Unless of course your telling me this is envolution and that it was aiming

for homosexual people and animals.

Organisms on this planet , especially high up the scale are incredible complex requirin billions

of chemical reactions to go off correctly, its no wonder that occasionly the wiring goes wrong,

like people being born , beath, blind, nutters, whatever, sometimes we comeout not quite right.

However the difference is that we need not care because the the number of animals and people that are wired correctly allow the species to compensate for those that do not. Nature is resillent and allows us to absorbthe minor percentage that dont get built correctly.

Simply put the chances of there being 10% of the male population being either gay or with serious

homesexual tendencies is simply laughable, mother nature and evolution are just way to good at

the job, They've been doing thier double act for billions of years.

Paris because she does not mind if some like a little bob on boy action

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Perhaps...

Cherry doesn't want to be popped?

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They need to think it through

I think this is going to be good for creating a population of blue ducks in this country. Now there has been some publicity, there will be blue ducks moving to tunbridge wells and writing to the times about how disgusted they are and how there was none of this gayness when they were young ducks, heterosexual young ducks arguing whether cherry is a minger or not and sending her for style makeovers on blue duck tv channels, more gay ducks moving to the area to be part of the vibrant gay duck culture, blue duck outreach workers will need to be employed to deal with problems in the growing blue duck community.......

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Duckin' hell!

If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered. ~Robin Tyler

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Coat

Ducks? On Water?

So surely that makes Ben and Jerry a pair of Chocolate River Pilots...

<gorrit>

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Re: Which just goes to show

Andy says "Which just goes to show... that homosexuality isn't very clever, from a Darwinian perspective. Though it's really quite rare for animals to be exclusively homosexual – usually it just seems to be a case of mistaken identity due to raging hormones – so maybe Cherry just isn't their type?"

Homosexuality has been observed in over 1500 species (including humans:-) as you can see in this article: http://www.news-medical.net/?id=20718

Why do you think "homosexuality isn't very clever, from a Darwinian perspective"? Is this just an uninformed opinion? Or do you base it on some grounded beliefs? I can't provide any references but I do know that some researchers believe there is a benefit to having a certain percentage of homosexual individuals within a species. The benefit is that a "gay uncle" (or "lesbian aunt") won't be distracted by child rearing responsibilities and so can act as an extra food gatherer, thus increasing the chances of survival for nephews and nieces. If a species has "too many" homosexual individuals then there won't be sufficient breeding and the population may die out. Conversely, if there are "too few" homosexual individuals then the population may die out due to heterosexual parents not being able to acquire sufficient food to feed all their offspring.

As for your claim that "it's really quite rare for animals to be exclusively homosexual", again I am curious if this is just an uninformed opinion or do you have some basis for it. By the way, according to the Kinsey reports in 1948 and 1953, exclusive heterosexuality is much less common than most people imagine.

Regards,

Ciaran.

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Flame

@ Andy

"homosexuality isn't very clever, from a Darwinian perspective"

You're not very clever, from any perspective, if you think that statement made any sense. What the fuck is a "Darwinian perspective"? Do you mean simply to point out that a male/male coupling won't produce offspring? Bravo, Einstein.

"it's really quite rare for animals to be exclusively homosexual – usually it just seems to be a case of mistaken identity due to raging hormones"

Show your working, please. Or to put it another way, what a steaming pile of made up bollocks.

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Whistling Ducks

@Niall

Here in Queensland we have a breed of duck known locally as 'whistling ducks', they do whistle (in fact noisy little buggers). How they whistle I know not, that they do whistle I know.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Come on peeps...

So... it's a defect, you're saying? And we should feel compassion for them, or perhaps fear them a bit, and either way at least stare at them in the street until our mums tell us not to be so rude? Still, they get by OK in spite of their disability - their fashion sense becomes stronger, apparently, to compensate for their lack of breeding ability.

Tsk.

Chucked Cherry? Cherry Unnecessary? Keep Calm And Cherry On?

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Evolutaionary Strategies

@Andy

On the contrary, homosexuality is a very sound evolutionary strategy: it maintains social co-operation while ensuring that the species doesn't breed to the limit of available resources. This is why homosexuality is so common in the animal kingdom (Bruce Bagemhil's book "Biological Exuberance" identifies over 450 species which can have gay/lesbian couples). You're right that it is not a sound DARWINIAN strategy, but that's because the Darwinian idea of absolute competition for resources doesn't tie in with the fact that most species don't breed to the limit of available resources.

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Stop

@ Mycho

"Of course there are gay animals. Or did you think that animals maintained an equilibrium population through celibacy?"

Interesting position.

I (and most mathematicians) believe they maintain an equilibrium population through dying at the same rate as they are being born.

Or do animals think to themselves "hey, there's too many ducks around here, I'm going to be gay from now on otherwise we'll never achieve an equilibrium population without finding some new predators"?

Perhaps we'll never know. I'm sure Russell T Davies has an opinion, though. Maybe Dr Who could cover this in future?

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Boffin

What I want to know is -

Do gay ducks taste different?

Err, hang on, that's not what I meant...

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@Mycho

"Or did you think that animals maintained an equilibrium population through celibacy?"

I thought they maintained it by being eaten or starving to death.

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Christians say its not natural!

Christians (and all the other god botherers) say its not natural... Ducks say it is...

Ducks are indisputably natural...

Therefore...

Christians (and all the other god botherers) are not natural and homosexuality is natural.

So I was right all along! hurrah! :)

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Anonymous Coward

Jesus is Fraud

Well even though jesus never existed, he showed all the traits of being into other guys.

a) He wore a gown which is womens clothing.

b) He never had a girl friend.

c) He had a big group of special male friends.

d) Who he kissed often and

e) Went off on little trips with across the dessert and on boating trips.

So the ducks must be christian.

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