about the _hot_ pondlife, I thought you meant, y'know, like, __HOT__ pondlife. Not hot pond life.

Never mind, I've cooled down now.

It's the one with the thermal lining.

"Martian volcano could harbour hot underground pondlife"

What? Like Paris?

ba-bom Tssh!

I'll get my coat.....

Looking for Dr Manhattan!

On the topographic map, there are certain regions coded as below 0 in elevation. How do they determine where sea level is when Mars has no seas?

Built the giant window defroster thing found beneath Olympus Mons in Total Recall and now the "much-anticipated" remake of Total Recall?

The stars are almost literally aligning and the Reg is there to report on this epochal confluence of events. All that is needed now is Richard Branson to announce that famous Hollywood actor Dennis Quaid has elected to become the first passenger on Virgin Galactic's new passenger service to Mars....

Where's the ka-boom?

There's supposed to be an earth shattering ka-boom!

On the topographic map, there are certain regions coded as below 0 in elevation. How do they determine where sea level is when Mars has no seas?

"Sea level" on Mars is a value defined by SI as equal to " a distance of 2.7276x10^7 Ba from the planet's centre of mass"

....since Mars's atmosphere is tenuous at its thickest, and since Olympus Mons rises 76,000 feet above the surrounding plains, its caldera must be damn near in outer space.

So put a Gauss gun in there and use it to launch iron-rich ore into orbit, to build interstellar spacecraft or orbiting power stations, or what have you..... the savings in bulk material delivery to space would cover the exploration and development costs many time over in the long run.

Plus, it would satisfy mankind's deep-seated desire to rape and plunder nature for a looooooooooooooooong time to come.

Paris because, well, it's Paris.

You mean there's water in them tharsis hills?

They would be Areologists

Nah, the red planet is dead. No molten core so no magnetic field resulting in an irradiated surface. Cold interior so no areothermal energy. Weak sunlight. No liquid water, only ice deposits. D.E.A.D.

Now, the icy moons of gas giants, they are a much better candidate for primitive hot slime creatures. Mmm hot juicy slime.