sigh. That is all.

Makes me wish I had three hands.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE say they leave in the tripple nipple....

TWOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS

Person capable of thinking up new ideas for films.

Please apply to Hollywood, USA.

What tech advancements? The original had all the required effects just fine, thanks. Maybe it's a five-hour-long Bollywood coproduction with singing and dancing digital aliens. Hollywood needs to produce new stuff, not continually rehash the old, otherwise the decline in cinema ticket sales will just continue.

PS: And I can't think of any current Hollywood actress that could get even close to Sharon Stone as she was then! Right off the top of the phwoar-scale!!!

He can bring the same expressive range and depth of emotion to this that he brought to the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.

These people are idiots if they think that Total Recall would in any way be improved by modern special effects. Apparently they have forgotten that movie making is about plot and character, and not about a more realistic depiction of Arnold Schwarzenegger hiding inside the fat lady. You would have thought that the comparison between the first Star Wars trilogy and the second one would have cured people of the idea that better special effects == better movie...

Can i see Ricther at the after party ?

OPEN YOUR MIND, OPEN YOUR MIND

Much like "The Day the Earth Stood Still"

I think if we just remove the plot stick in a bit about the enviroment then go all 21st century on their asses with CGi it will rock.......umm no.

Is it such a simple concept to grasp: Newer is NOT always better. Leave it alone. Has Hollywood so run out of creativity that all they can do is rehash existing stories?

As the proposed remake of Smokey And The Bandit (which is to use a Mustang instead of a Trans Am)!

Argh!

I suppose it will feature Earth ruined by global warming and Martian bacteria huggers who stop Quaid turning on the terraforming machine.

Paris, a chance to re-boost her acting career.

Why oh why oh why?

There are several thousand other great PKD stories they could raid. How about The Days of Perky Pat? Quite prescient I should say. Now there's a role for LiLo. There was a very good one about toys I seem to remember. And all those god-in-my-head ones ..?

Keanu is ineligible because he's already played a PKD main character in 'Scanner Darkly.

Soon they'll be proposing remakes of films that haven't actually been made yet, though at least that means we'll actually start getting new films again at last.

Why bother, but should this go ahead then I vote for El Reg's inspired casting choices.

And now they want to re-abuse one of Dick's stories?

I have come to dread sci-fi movies these days. I *love* sci-fi books. But so many times they take the book, borrow a theme and then totally miss the point of the story to the extent that they're effectively pissing on the authors ideas.

Take "I Robot" for instance. Fscking travesty. They took a cerebral exploration of the ramifications of seemingly simple laws for robotic behaviour and turned it into a noisy, Will Smith laden advertisement for Pepsi, Converse trainers and Audi. Asimov must have spun in his grave.

TR was a cheap enough rip-off of the book, lets not cheapen it further, please.

The original was pretty good for technology, as mentioned. Can't beat some of the modelling present in the film, especially the exterior views of Mars. The only weakness in the original watching it now is the use of CRT displays on the tube, etc... a Minority Report-style reworking of display tech would be pretty good but hardly worth a big budget remake.

"Has Hollywood so run out of creativity that all they can do is rehash existing stories?"

Well, if its good enough for El Reg these days then why not Hollywood?? ;-)

In The Real Frank Zappa Book he said

"When you compute the length of time between The Event and The Nostalgia For The Event, the span seems to be about a year less in each cycle. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia."

We can put the Hollywood execs outside of the dome.

As every role of all genders and species - that's about as much as this project deserves.

A: By reading this list of 55 remakes that are proposed/being made/in the can:

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/166239/55_movie_remakes_currently_in_the_works.html

How the fuck can they re-make The Karate Kid with Will Smith's son?!? it'll suck more than a truck of Dyson's

BI:2 and T3 did.

Paris: coz she would be a popular destination for "mind travel".

"Hollywood to totally recall Total Recall"

"Hollywood Reporter, er, reports"

I'd like to register my disapproval of the register's rubbish puns.

@Matt Bryant

"...otherwise the decline in cinema ticket sales will just continue"

I'm sure - and I'm equally sure almost every hollywood producer would confirm - the decline in ticket sales is solely due to all the film-pirating bastards out there. And it has definitely nothing to do with rubbish films and ticket prices of up to £40.

EA

> As the proposed remake of Smokey And The Bandit (which is to use a Mustang instead of a Trans Am)!

See, that's why GM is in the trouble it's in.

If it were me, I'd get one of the new Camaros and have the Trans Am turkey painted on the hood. A little custom tail light treatment, poncho emblems -- done.

A Mustang? Give me a break.

Paris, because someone should paint a turkey on her.

twatmongering Hollywood! its a product of its time! may the fleas of a 1000 camels crawl up their exhaust pipes!

Shia LeBeouf will be Quaid and thus ruin another movie with his "contemporary" annoying idoit character type casting.

First they gather at team of brilliant young minds in a secluded getaway, stuffed full with all they would ever need of books, computers, beer...

No...

They have a small cart of books that a manager once 'liberated' from the local library.

And now they just take turns throwing darts at the books to decide which one to turn into a movie.

The reason they make all these remakes is that they always forget to REMOVE the books they've already used, or in the case of Taxi and other popular European movies, some rookie in the office left his copy of it in the cart, thinking the cart was for 'sharing good stuff'...

... Two to cover my ears, one for my eyes!

Who could they possibly get in to rival Arnie?

they can waste their money on re-making whatever they want - why should I give a shit?

as long as they don't fuck up the original by re-doing anything then everything is just fine.

if they want to waste their money, let them.

Flames: because really, these people ought to know where they're going.

McDonalds could cash in though... http://www.b3tards.com/u/899d78c16b9bb1676226/kuato_pounder_sml.jpg

Just no.