Benny....
"We'll stump five bucks to see that character at the wrong end of a tunnel-drilling machine"
If Eddie Murphy is playing him, I'll stump up another ten if they do it with a real drilling machine and no added visual effects......
Hollywood to totally recall Total Recall
Columbia Pictures is in "final negotiations" with producer Neal H Moritz to develop a "contemporary version" of 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi romp Total Recall, the Hollywood Reporter, er, reports. Moritz - whose production credits include I Am Legend and Prison Break - expressed the hope that "advancements in technology and …
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Hey man I've got 5 kids to feed
Makes me wish I had three hands.
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE say they leave in the tripple nipple....
TWOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS
TWOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS
Wanted...
Person capable of thinking up new ideas for films.
Please apply to Hollywood, USA.
Lack of new ideas?
What tech advancements? The original had all the required effects just fine, thanks. Maybe it's a five-hour-long Bollywood coproduction with singing and dancing digital aliens. Hollywood needs to produce new stuff, not continually rehash the old, otherwise the decline in cinema ticket sales will just continue.
PS: And I can't think of any current Hollywood actress that could get even close to Sharon Stone as she was then! Right off the top of the phwoar-scale!!!
Keanu Reeves for the Arnie role!
He can bring the same expressive range and depth of emotion to this that he brought to the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.
These people are idiots if they think that Total Recall would in any way be improved by modern special effects. Apparently they have forgotten that movie making is about plot and character, and not about a more realistic depiction of Arnold Schwarzenegger hiding inside the fat lady. You would have thought that the comparison between the first Star Wars trilogy and the second one would have cured people of the idea that better special effects == better movie...
Man ive got 5 kids to feed
Can i see Ricther at the after party ?
OPEN YOUR MIND
OPEN YOUR MIND, OPEN YOUR MIND
Much like "The Day the Earth Stood Still"
I think if we just remove the plot stick in a bit about the enviroment then go all 21st century on their asses with CGi it will rock.......umm no.
When..
...will somebody in Hollywood realise that they are allowed to have original ideas?
Why, why, why?
Is it such a simple concept to grasp: Newer is NOT always better. Leave it alone. Has Hollywood so run out of creativity that all they can do is rehash existing stories?
Oh man, this sounds almost as bad...
As the proposed remake of Smokey And The Bandit (which is to use a Mustang instead of a Trans Am)!
"contemporary version"
Argh!
I suppose it will feature Earth ruined by global warming and Martian bacteria huggers who stop Quaid turning on the terraforming machine.
Why?
Why the heck does this need redoing? Its fine as it is, and doesn't look too dated.
If they're remaking old sci-fi films, I'd like to see a reworking of Soylent Green, perhaps with the after effecrts of the 'discovery' covered.
And rehashing? Has Hollywood run out of ideas?
casting
I suggest Jordan as the bimbo with 3 baps and Jo Brand as a mutant. I also quite like the idea of Tom Cruise playing that robotic cabbie and Woody Allen as Quade.
WHY?
Why do they need to remake ANY of the recently gamut of hollywood remakes? Unless it's done by Verhoeven himself, it will be utter tripe, and I seriously doubt he'd want his name put anywhere near it.
Three Nippled Hooker?
Paris, a chance to re-boost her acting career.
@AC
"Has Hollywood so run out of creativity that all they can do is rehash existing stories?"
yes, yes they have!
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/166239/55_movie_remakes_currently_in_the_works.html
Demure, athletic, voluptuous ... be honest?
Why oh why oh why?
There are several thousand other great PKD stories they could raid. How about The Days of Perky Pat? Quite prescient I should say. Now there's a role for LiLo. There was a very good one about toys I seem to remember. And all those god-in-my-head ones ..?
Keanu is ineligible because he's already played a PKD main character in 'Scanner Darkly.
At this rate...
Soon they'll be proposing remakes of films that haven't actually been made yet, though at least that means we'll actually start getting new films again at last.
I Say
Why bother, but should this go ahead then I vote for El Reg's inspired casting choices.
So they murdered I am Legend
And now they want to re-abuse one of Dick's stories?
I have come to dread sci-fi movies these days. I *love* sci-fi books. But so many times they take the book, borrow a theme and then totally miss the point of the story to the extent that they're effectively pissing on the authors ideas.
Take "I Robot" for instance. Fscking travesty. They took a cerebral exploration of the ramifications of seemingly simple laws for robotic behaviour and turned it into a noisy, Will Smith laden advertisement for Pepsi, Converse trainers and Audi. Asimov must have spun in his grave.
TR was a cheap enough rip-off of the book, lets not cheapen it further, please.
Advancements
The original was pretty good for technology, as mentioned. Can't beat some of the modelling present in the film, especially the exterior views of Mars. The only weakness in the original watching it now is the use of CRT displays on the tube, etc... a Minority Report-style reworking of display tech would be pretty good but hardly worth a big budget remake.
@AC; RE: Why, why, why?
"Has Hollywood so run out of creativity that all they can do is rehash existing stories?"
Well, if its good enough for El Reg these days then why not Hollywood?? ;-)
Frank Zappa had it right.
In The Real Frank Zappa Book he said
"When you compute the length of time between The Event and The Nostalgia For The Event, the span seems to be about a year less in each cycle. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia."
Get your ass to Mars!
We can put the Hollywood execs outside of the dome.
Sack the suites
So in essence a bunch of people in suites with no ideas are wasting a lot of money? Like Star Trek MMV1 Nemesis, where a genetically enhanced human (Kahn/Shinzon) comes back and takes revenge on the captain (Picard/Kirk) with an amazing weapon that could kill everything (Genesis Ray/Super blaster energy thingy with added cloak)?
i.e. they had a meeting, the men without ideas in suites decided to remake Star Trek 2, Wrath of Kahn because that sold well. Slap a bit of CGI on it and it'll be fine....
Does that ever work?
Isn't it time for Die Hard 5? or Raiders of the Lost Ark 5? 6? Goonies 4? Bond 25?
How about something totally wacky, like a Romantic comedy staring Julia Roberts and someone.
Ringworld
If you want to do an original story with CGI effects then look no further than the Ringworld, or in fact any of the Larry Niven books (Gift from Earth, Protector, Long arm of Gil Hamilton etc etc.) would be a good start, let alone so many other authors.
Just make sure you do it properly, maybe as a 4-parter or something.
There are SO many stories out there, why oh why do they insist on re-doing the past.
ttfn
Why oh god why?
That's one of the best Arnie films ever made! Why does Hollywood think they can improve upon it?
actually i like this idea
i'm usually against holywood rem(ist)akes but i think this one might be alright
the original film was an absolute classic, yes, but the f/x look soooo dated these days
it'd be nice to see the story told with modern f/x
that said, the cgi f/x will probably end up looking worse than the old animatronics
still - if this does well then maybe they'll get the idea to remake the Running Man and this time might stick even vaugely close to the original book
The Wayans Brothers
As every role of all genders and species - that's about as much as this project deserves.
Q: How do you make a film fan's blood boil?
A: By reading this list of 55 remakes that are proposed/being made/in the can:
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/166239/55_movie_remakes_currently_in_the_works.html
How the fuck can they re-make The Karate Kid with Will Smith's son?!? it'll suck more than a truck of Dyson's
Will still Star Arnold & Sharon ?
BI:2 and T3 did.
Paris: coz she would be a popular destination for "mind travel".
Repetition
"Hollywood to totally recall Total Recall"
"Hollywood Reporter, er, reports"
I'd like to register my disapproval of the register's rubbish puns.
Re Lack of new ideas?
@Matt Bryant
"...otherwise the decline in cinema ticket sales will just continue"
I'm sure - and I'm equally sure almost every hollywood producer would confirm - the decline in ticket sales is solely due to all the film-pirating bastards out there. And it has definitely nothing to do with rubbish films and ticket prices of up to £40.
EA
I have but one suggestion for the buffoon that came up with this
"Get your ass to Mars"
Oh man, this sounds almost as bad...
> As the proposed remake of Smokey And The Bandit (which is to use a Mustang instead of a Trans Am)!
See, that's why GM is in the trouble it's in.
If it were me, I'd get one of the new Camaros and have the Trans Am turkey painted on the hood. A little custom tail light treatment, poncho emblems -- done.
A Mustang? Give me a break.
Paris, because someone should paint a turkey on her.
Just checking that...
... as a collective group of people who don't truly believe in working on a Friday, that we've got all the memorable lines from the film sorted out and on here. It would a crime of hollywood-remake magnitude if we didn't!
May I start the ball rolling with "If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself, and you've probably got a wet towel wrapped around your head. ".
fuck you asshole
twatmongering Hollywood! its a product of its time! may the fleas of a 1000 camels crawl up their exhaust pipes!
Undoubtedly . . . .
Shia LeBeouf will be Quaid and thus ruin another movie with his "contemporary" annoying idoit character type casting.
why
Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey.
Want to know how Hollywood picks a movie idea?
First they gather at team of brilliant young minds in a secluded getaway, stuffed full with all they would ever need of books, computers, beer...
No...
They have a small cart of books that a manager once 'liberated' from the local library.
And now they just take turns throwing darts at the books to decide which one to turn into a movie.
The reason they make all these remakes is that they always forget to REMOVE the books they've already used, or in the case of Taxi and other popular European movies, some rookie in the office left his copy of it in the cart, thinking the cart was for 'sharing good stuff'...
how about
Anne WIddicombe as Kuato (who gets shot in the head)?
Paris can be the triple breasted whore (who gets shot in the back)
Not so much a rehash as a hash?
Better special effects make a better movie only if your main interest in movies is the special effects. In which case, the rest of the industry is now so adept at taking your money with week after week of films about superheroes that you're not likely to be especially interested in a film about a man that can't fly.
Makes me wish I had three hands ...
... Two to cover my ears, one for my eyes!
Who could they possibly get in to rival Arnie?
I don't care
they can waste their money on re-making whatever they want - why should I give a shit?
as long as they don't fuck up the original by re-doing anything then everything is just fine.
if they want to waste their money, let them.
Flames: because really, these people ought to know where they're going.
This is terrible news.
McDonalds could cash in though... http://www.b3tards.com/u/899d78c16b9bb1676226/kuato_pounder_sml.jpg
Benny
Michael Jackson for Benny . he will be right at home with the small people in the bar.
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