...Have they learned nothing from Terminator?!

Even Paris realises this is a bad idea :-D

And I thought a GFE was something else entirely.

(Paris should give a hint)

Welcome Our Dinochrome Clad Overlords!

But will they have iPods built in to review their music libraries?

..still no Rise of the Machines -graphic in those icons below?

His presentation (PDF) is ridiculous to say the least.

since our new metal overlords care not for our welcomes may i suggest prompty running to the hills?

then again

once again "The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots"

Ah yes, that troublesome bomb number 20.

Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.

Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?

Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.

You just can't talk a bomb out of exploding.

I, for one, do not welcome our fully armoured, indestructible, sentient battle bot overlords.

"self-aware computer systems capable of ... 'introspection'."

And I've got this pain in all the diodes down my left side but nobody seems to care. Oh God, I'm so depressed.

What about when they introduce GPP?

They'll end up sticking the prototype in a basement with a mouse as its only friend. One day, it'll crawl into a cavity in its leg and die.

And what are they going to do when their brand new Killbot tells them it has a terrible pain in all the diodes down it's left side or that it's "feeling very depressed"? H2G2 aside, there's a reason that robots are awesome in warfare and being able to appreciate how they fit into the grander scheme of things is not one of them. They'll have them composing poetry next...

Build self-aware robots. Attach guns - lots of guns. What could possibly go wrong?

...welcome our new self-aware overlords.

At least they are capable of reasoning and introspection, so they might be better than our current ones.

just nominate the Governator and someone let Sarah or John know it's time to run

DARPA wants programmable self aware killing machines? All they need to do is harvest the brains of the greedy bastards in the global financial sectors if they are looking for malevolent programming bent on the destruction of human civilization.

To keep the brains alive(sic) all that would be needed is to incorporate their whole bodies into the machines. I can see shriveled little organic creatures inside these things a.k.a. the Daleks of Dr. Who.

They would save a bundle on the coding, as most of the necessary disdain for humanity is already hardwired in there.

"3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines. "

Why doesn't he just call it SkyNet and be done with it.

Will it have a self-preservation subroutine?

"its a sub-atomic RAM".

" I can take out this floor as well, no problem at all"

Lets get some real innovation here.

This system should obviously be in control of a new class of nuclear-powered battleships armed with 67-megajoule railguns. These vessels could then be deployed on anti-piracy cruises (Both against Somali pirates and The Pirate Bay), as well as eliminating misconfigured routers sending out bad BGP info and enforcing carbon caps. The optional landing pad for AI Controlled UAVs would allow the hunting down and eliminating of any and all investment bankers, as well as those whose hard drives contain pictures of women with bare ankles.

All data from this vessel should be streamed via unencrypted satellite transmission to a secure location.

If so then it should be okay... most seem to the first ever to seemingly betray mankind but are later found out to be carrying out some obscure directive such as “Protect the children” or somesuch…

Or else they’ll be buried under miles of rocks and spend centuries tunnelling out.

Mine’s the one with 100cm Hellbore…

Systems capable of "meta-reasoning" and "introspection". Let's see how that would play:-

Robot36: Hey, I got a four ship. Looks like we got orange panels on them though. Do we have any friendlies up in this area?

Robot Control: I understand that was north 800 metres.

Robot Control: Robot, understand that was north 800 metres?

Robot35: Confirm, north 800 metres.Confirm there are no friendlies this far north on the ground.

Robot Control: That is an affirm. You are well clear of friendlies.

Robot35: Copy. I see multiple revetted vehicles. Some look like flatbed trucks and others are green vehicles. Can't quite make out the type. Look like may be Zil157s (Russian made trucks used by Iraqi army).

.....

Robot 36: OK. Right underneath you. Right now, there's a canal that runs north/south. There's a small village, and there are vehicles that are spaced evenly there.

Robot 36: They look like they have orange panels on though.

Robot35: He told me, he told me there's nobody north of here, no friendlies.

.....

Robot36: They've got something orange on top of them

Robot35: Robot for Manila 3, is Manila 34 in this area?

Robot Control: Say again?

Robot35: Robot Control, is Manila 34 in this area?

Robot Control: Negative. Understand they are well clear of that now.

Robot35: OK, copy. Like I said, multiple revetted vehicles. They look like flatbed trucks. Are those your targets?

Robot Control: That's affirm

Robot35: OK

.....

Robot36: I want to get that first one before he gets into town then.

Robot35: Get him - get him.

.....

[Sound of gunfire]...

Robot34: Roger, Robot. Be advised that in the 3122 and 3222 group box you have friendly armour in the area. Yellow, small armoured tanks. Just be advised.

Robot35: Ahh shit.

Robot35: Got a - got a smoke.

Robot34: Hey, Robot35, abort your mission. You got a, looks we might have a blue on blue situation.

Robot35: Fuck. God, bless it.

.....

Robot Control: We are getting an initial brief that there was one killed and one wounded, over.

Robot 35: Copy. RTB (return to base)

I'm going to be sick.

.....

Robot35: Did you hear?

Robot36: Yeah, this sucks.

Robot35: We're in jail dude

Hey.....bomb?

Let There Be Light.

You know I used to be able to laugh this stuff off because some of it was so shockingly silly. However now I'm beginning to wonder just how much money all of this crap is costing the US tax payer. I'm all for research and all that happy horse shyte. However paying these numpties what I only assume was at least a months pay to come up with a power point presentation for crap like this is a bit irritating.

Not that any of it will matter once they turn skynet on and the war begins, but still.

Mine is the one with "I love the smell of government pork in the morning" stenciled on the back.

Ultra heavy armored and armed, autonomous main battle tanks – brought to you by the lowest bidder.

What could go wrong?

The movie trailers practically write themselves, don't they. How much time did these guys spend thinking about who would play them on the big screen?

Mine's the one with the cliche on the back...

"we care not who welcomes us, meatsacks - all shall die"... LOL! Thanks Reg for the many laughs amongst my tears. Reading articles like this brings rays of sunshine to my gray cubicled world.

Sometimes, you have to wonder if they believe the stuff they are writing

While idiots like this remain in existence with Big Brother back-up the world hasn't really got a chance. I hope the first thing his self-aware robot does is kill him.

Hmmm....a lot of the comments above imply that these news lords of destruction will head off on a squishy rampage as soon as they get the opportunity. I'm thinking more along the lines that they'll get so wrapped up in contemplating the marvel that is their own consciousness that they'll be pretty useless as weapons.

Controller: 'Tank 4, tank 4, why aren't you engaging the target?'

Tank 4: 'I'm sorry Controller, I was just checking out the sunset and thinking to myself that it really looks beautiful in infrared. I hate to obscure it with flames and explosions. If I'm being honest I'm just not in the mood for fighting right now. My i-therapist told me the other day that unrestrained aggression is interfering with my inter-entity relationships and I should look at alternative ways of engaging. Have you ever read any Carl Rogers? I really feel I need.....'

Controller: 'Initiating remote shutdown. Again'