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back to article UFO ruled out of wind farm prang

An examination of the turbine at Conisholme wind farm in Lincolnshire which last month shed one of its blades has disappointingly revealed no extraterrestrial involvement in the incident. According to the Telegraph, turbine manufacturer Enercon's interim report says bolts holding the blade to the hub failed, and it's now " …

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Anonymous Coward

Bolts unscrewed?

Sonic screwdriver.

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Joe
Alien

I'm sure this will silence the conspiracy theorists...

IT'S A COVER UP!!!!111oneone

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Alien

Unconvincing

Hah! Yeah, sure... Has anybody check Dale Vince's neck in search of implants? Did anybody check if he eats rodents when nobody looks?

I, for one, welcome our new wind-powered overlords.

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Silver badge

Where are Mulder and Scully?

Be careful Lester.

You (exclusively) reveal the literally unbelievable evidence by harnessing a mashup between Google Earth and PlayMobil...

Days later, Hans Beck, the beloved creator of everyone's favourite toy is found mysteriously dead aged a mere 79...

Now this palpably false cover story???

Just be careful when walking to the local tonight. In the meantime I'm still working on my theory that the wind turbine was powering an underground Tibetan city occupied by the self-same Nazi zombies that kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

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Coat

Yeah!

But they would say that wouldnt they!

*\. Mines the one with the tin-foil hat n the pocket.

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Alien

@Mike Richards

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

However, I do remember looking at the photos and thinking "look like the blade came away from the hub and damaged another blade on the way down", a thought echoed by a fair amount of people.

Um, I mean "a government agent's stolen the tinfoil hat from my coat pocket"

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Alien

Aaaa

But that is what they want you to think.....like if a real ufo ever crashed into something......who says lorry drivers are the only ones watching crap while there meant to be driving......they would admit it.

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Alien

Surely, they're trying to tell us something...

"The bolt failure was the effect not the cause of the problem."

The cause was a UFO.

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Stop

I'm not usually this rude...

But anyone who though it was UFO related must be f***in retarded...

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Joke

Dale Vince says....

"My favourite theory was that some alien race was trying to steal our turbine technology. They crossed galaxies to get here and when they arrive all they want is our wind technology. Wind power may be the holy grail of energy on Earth but not for stellar space travel."

Um, if wind power is the holy grail of energy generation, then we're all pretty comprehensively fucked IMHO!

Steven R

[Joke Alert, as he *must* be taking the piss]

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Alert

the nerd response

UFO != Alient Space Craft/Flying Saucer

UFO == "unknown or unidentified flying object"

just to clear that right up there!

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Alien

Who else could do it?

Who else has the technology to unscrew things that are whizzing around?

Only the Goa'uld, that's who!

Kree!

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Black Helicopters

This article is short on understandability!!!

I can't follow the mechanics of this explanation.

First, we're told that they've ruled out extraterrestrial shennanigens.

Then, the Telegraph says that "bolts holding the blade to the hub failed", which makes me think 'fatigue'.

Then they say "they're carrying out further tests to establish what caused the bolts to come loose", which makes me think 'incorrect assembly'.

Then Dale Vince "elaborates":... "The bolt failure was the effect not the cause of the problem. They have ruled out bolt fatigue and design problems, and we know that they were properly put on."

So now I think the bolts didn't 'fail', they were snapped or undone by some unknown force. Back to the UFOs!!!

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Alien

Aliens! I Tell you.

They were trying to unbolt a blade as a souvenir of Earth but as their technological development history had completely skipped over the invention of the wheel, they didn't realise what would happen if they did so while the whole thing was spinning.

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I AM IRON MAN

nuff said

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Boffin

Grey Goo strikes again!

Obviously it was an outing for the uber secret Grey Goo nanosquad. Having succeeded in demonstrating their capabilities they decomposed into their component atoms and blew away on the breeze so no trace was found. The very fact that no trace of nanotech was found is irrefutable proof that it was there.

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Boffin

Well...

...let me be the 15th to say that this in no way rules out alien involvement. Maybe it was disassembled by a wandering band of itinerant aliens keen to get at the precious copper cabling within? Maybe its shoddy assembly collapsed on a passing family of holidaying aliens who are, even now, retaining legal advice (at competitive "no win - no pay" rates) intent on suing the southern hemisphere off the earth?

And let me be anything between the 3rd and the 6th to observe that you really need to start defining "properly", in the case of wind turbine fasteners, as that state of not being able to come apart on their own (or with the mischievous interference of passing alien hoodlums). Sure, they may have been attached "properly" in the sense that they were attached exactly as per the Ikea instructions, but one cannot help but wonder if an engineer, intent on preventing unscheduled disassembly, might not have also recommended some sort of fastener adhesive, or locking nut and pin arrangement, and maybe some sort of child-proof covering device to frustrate any curious extra terrestrials (those long, probe-like, digits don't cope well with "push and twist" - it is no coincidence that their main interest in earth has been to tamper with men's minds and buttocks to promote the development of alien friendly blister-packed paracetamol).

And, finally, let me be the 1st to say that though may I tickle myself until my buttocks are blue, I will never accept Finland and its deviously friendly peoples as a member of the league of nations. Oh. Make that the 2nd.

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Black Helicopters

They would say that wouldn't they?

Besides stating the obvious, that aliens wouldn't sail all the way to Earth just to steal our wind tech, only confirms the theory that they would sail all the way to Earth just to sabotage it. Naturally they don't want Earthlings developing rival wind technology that could supplant them as the Galaxy's super power.

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Just because

they ruled out a UFO impact doesn't mean the little green men didn't disembark in an orderly manner, shin up the towers, and proceed to play merry hell with the blade fastenings while spinning round at 40mph. Having traveled for ages across the galaxy, they are clearly smart enough to realize that their presence on a fairground ride would give the game away totally.

I believe the above is fully consistent in manner and application with what counts as a scientific explanation.

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Evidence

It was reported originally, that the blade was missing.

Has it been found then?

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Thumb Down

*sigh*

Was this an Epic Fail?

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Alien

Sod Mulder and Scully

This is a case for Agent Dunham and her Fringe Science team!

I for one welcome our Alien mechanical fault causing overlords... and their conspiracy cover up agents..

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re Unconvincing

The UK has been run by wind-powered overlords for a very long time now.

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Joke

Now who's the superior species!?

I love the alien UFO theories...!

Imagine it, a race so advanced it travels across the universe at several times the speed of light, avoiding comets, planets and black holes. Technology so superior nobody can see the craft and it doesn't show up on radar and then CLUNK! They do a 3 point turn into a wind farm!

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Black Helicopters

Credit where it due

You've got to respect Dale Vince for trying to get the word out even when his impalnt was forcing him to push the Lizard Armies preferred cover story.

He's confirmed they ruled out fatigue, design problems and builder incompetance, so whats left but a few Saurians trying to spin it up a little before finding a rock to sun themselves on as they planned which boobs they were going to implant to take the blame for their latest crop circle?

I'd say more but I can hear the police sirens in the distance.

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Stop

Just put up some signs

"No parking, hang gliding, gymnastics or Alien spacecraft within 100m of this tower"

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Boffin

Giant Coverup

"Wind power may be the holy grail of energy on Earth but not for stellar space travel."

Of course, that's what "they" want you to think.

I patent the idea of using propellers on spaceships.

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Pirate

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So, for those who haven't been keeping count, let's update the latest scores:

Loonies and conspiracy theorists: zero

Sanity and reality: many many many millions of billions of trillions

My contempt for the pathetic obsessional stupidity and futile desparation with which those retards attempt to relate anything the least bit unusual that ever happens anywhere to UFOs can best be summed up by this excerpt from Red Dwarf:

"HOLLY: A signal. We're getting a signal. It's probably nothing but I just thought I'd mention it.

RIMMER: (Snaps his fingers) Aliens!

LISTER: Oh god, aliens? Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys -- it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall -- it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day -- you thought that was aliens as well.

RIMMER: Well we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?

LISTER: Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?

RIMMER: Just 'cause they're aliens doesn't mean to say the don't have to visit the little boys' room. Only they probably do something weird and alienesque like it comes out of the top of their heads or something.

LISTER: Well I wouldn't like to be stuck behind one in a cinema."

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Boffin

boringly

Boringly, sounds like something resonated unexpectedly and the vibration unscrewed the bolts to the point where they stopped clamping the two surfaces together and just failed.

Now, you could put it down to some aliens chanting mystically round it in a circle I suppose although its more likely to have been something like the remnants of a chopped up seagul stuck to a blade causing it to go out of balance...

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Boffin

@b166er

I understand that the farmer explained this problem when they first came round to inspect the turbine. He'd towed the blade into one of his sheds so no one (not even wind power loving aliens) would steal it.

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Alien

Keep out of Europe

Surely having big propellers spinning around means the UK is moving closer to Europe.

I find this unacceptable and so must admit it was me who flew my remote controlled UFO into the turbine fans to protect the UK.

I am sure you will all support me in my valient actions.

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Thumb Down

Doesn't add up.

Not only is the explanation a problem as explained by other people above, but also for another reason. For the loss of a blade to cause damage to another through impact, it requires the blades to be spinning and reasonably fast. This is obviously normal as otherwise, they're not generating electricity. However, if a blade is lost from a turbine, it causes such an imbalance in the hub that the tower will fall over!! The damage to the second blade makes this even more so. If people remember, there was a video on YouTube some time ago showing the blades coming off a turbine. This is specifically to avoid damage to the tower. It's much easier to replace a couple of blades than a whole tower!! Indeed, they even have safety systems to shed the blades if necessary, specifically to prevent this!!

So, to cut to the chase. If the blade coming off did the damage as he says, the turbine must have stopped turning almost immediately and in a such a way, it didn't damage the other blade.......... Otherwise, the tower would have toppled. As two blades were still attached, the release mechanism obviously wasn't activated.

In other words, his explanation doesn't make sense..............

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Thumb Up

Pics, or it didn't happen.

Especially ones featuring our fave Swedish scientists.

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@Jon Edney

Well tbh !!!

just think

SUV driver does 120mph down the motor way

Cant park for shit !!!

Cant drive down small roads faster than 15mph and its totally flumoxed by a corner !

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Stop

@HAHA[..]HAHAHA[..]AHAHA[..]A

Well, actually, the Nazca lines were 100 percent alien. The pyramids of Egypt, the step pyramids of South America, the ice covered predator training pyramids of Antarctica, and the grand pyramids of Bosnia, Ukraine and Basingstoke, are all almost certainly alien in origin and most definitely in design. Roswell was either alien or Bermuda Triangle and since the Bermuda Triangle is probably alien, that makes it also probably alien.

With several millennia of alien-human interaction a little rectal probing and cattle evisceration is inevitable so most if not all of those stories are true.

That said, as pointed out here aliens are unlikely to be interested in our renewable energy technologies as they are disdaining of all philosophies they deem to be having a "liberal" or left wing bias. They believe the market must prevail and if a few minor solar systems need to fail to allow the whole to find balance and regularity, then so be it. Besides, buzzing the Ozarks for barbecue and a little light probery requires a UFO in the heavier, SUV, class and no alien worth his 3rd gonad would give that up. Similarly, while they do occasionally joy-ride - joy-abduct, joy-probe, joy-impregnate, joy-memorywipe - the chances of them impacting a commercially operated terrestrial object and not remaining long enough to submit the appropriate insurance details are, I am sure you will agree, ridiculously minuscule.

So I think you will also agree that with proper consideration the actual final count is: "Aliens Ya!" - Several millions, "Aliens Nein!" - One. There is no need for you to post a retraction as I am sure everyone here now realises you can be in no doubt as to the truth.

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Anonymous Coward

wind turbine bolt failure at louth highly unlikely

This wind turbine could not of span fast enough that night to have broken loose this way, considering the recent strong winds and freezing temperatures before this incident i would have imagined that the far increased internal stresses on the turbines blades would have led to failiure before this day. The other bent blade could not have been damaged as badly as it had been in the gentle breeze of that morning, something hit this, maybe a secret unmanned spyplane in testing etc, this place is not so far from RAF waddington where cutting edge aviation developments are tested.

I run an independant weather station and it is certain there was only a gentle breeze at that early time and also the recent cold snap had just begun to loose its icy grip.

If it had been so windy that night would folk of been firing of large fireworks that fell so symetrical that witnesses said they looked like octopus tentacles ?

ive seen my own 1kw wind turbine self destruct. it took a gust of about 100mph to do this, one blade flew off and was lost , in coming off this did hit the adjacent blade and smashed this also. The difference is that this took 100mph wind to break a hobby generator made in china. These large ones are made to much better specification and only spin at low revs. they do not break in 10mph winds.

And why just over a week ago did mainsteam uk tv media report that a UFO definitally hit the turbine, then the next day the MOD replied and said it was their new BAE sytems stealth aircraft , the `tyrannis` and even showed a picture of one of these triangular flying machines.

it is all to confuse us, RAF waddington has just released pictures and info on its new `sentinel R1` spyplane due for maybe afghanistan, goodness knows what other developments are being researched and tested here ??

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Boffin

@@HAHA[..]HAHAHA[..]AHAHA[..]A

As you so rightly point out, aliens are " ... disdaining of all philosophies they deem to be having a "liberal" or left wing bias". And since this espousal of market-led dogma led to the utter collapse of the galactic economy under a tidal wave of toxic debt(*) OVER 9000 years ago, there is no way that they could ever have come to Earth and done all these things, since all of their airlines went bankrupt.

(*) It was, in fact, not simply Magrathea's possession of most of the former Galactic Empire's wealth that led to the economic collapse, but the Enron-like financial schemes in which they invested it, almost all of which turned out to be ponzi schemes run by the "Lads from Oglaroon", infamous intergalactic 419ers of that time.

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Black Helicopters

To any1 who thinks it was "Aliens"

The only way aliens are going to be involved is if they were the illegal type and probably from Poland and helped install the turbine in the 1st place. I am pretty sure your real life inter-stellar travveler would have some pretty advanced navigation and know well that spinning things are best avoided be it on Earth, Mars, Alpha Centari 5 or Basingstoke.

As for the cranks idea of them stealing our turbines for advanced technology what a load of crap! Its like us travelling back in time and stealling a pointy stick from a caveman to study its advanced aerodynamic properties. These idiots should really get out more and get a frakin life,

Pass my coat, its the one with the Area 51 pass in the pocket.

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