The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

One-tonne 40ft snake prowled superhot prehistoric jungles

Hollerith

Seems wise to say 

that I for one welcome our Titanoboanic overlords. Please don't eat me, sire.

tom currie

poppycock 

Boffin

fourty feet long and ten feet diameter? This lard ball only crushed its prey by rolling over them. it couldn't bend itself with dimensions like that. Like folding a phone book in half.

Anonymous Coward

What always interested me... 

Boffin

was the 30ft dragonflies of the Carboniferous period when all our oil and coal was being laid down. The size of an insect is limited by how much oxygen its primitive breathing system can absorb. What percentage of oxygen would the atmosphere have to have to support a 30ft dragonfly?

Anonymous Coward

Proves global warming 

...is nothing to worry about. <gulp>

So how many of these would fit into Wales?

Edward Miles

Wasn't it recently shown... 

...That rainforests were a net producer (or at best a very weak absorber) of CO2? Can't rember where I read it, but I could swear I did...

James O'Shea

snake food 

I want one of those for a pet. I'd feed it climate clowns, and the world would be better for it. When I run out of climate clowns, I'd feed it PETA whackjobs. The world would be a _much_ better place as a result. After that, perhaps a tour of Parliament, starting with the Tory backbench. (Not that there's a difference between the Tories and NuLab, but I've got to start somewhere.)

Anonymous Coward

Rainforests are not the lungs of the planet 

Thumb Up

Sea algea produces far more O2.

Anonymous Coward

Fail 

Dead Vulture

What percentage of deforestation is attributable to biofuel plantations, exactly?

So biofuel - bad, climate change - good for trees.

Oh, just a moment, I thought you previously suggested that climate change was a myth?

Given particular views on new tech, especially emergant env. tech, did you also argue against unleaded petrol, and for dumping nuclear waste at sea? Now you're jesting that climate change would be positive!!

Excuse me, I prefer my rejurgated news without a spinkling of luddite BS, and the revenue from my page hit to go somewhere more worthy.

Luis Ogando

@Tom 

Paris Hilton

"fourty feet long and ten feet diameter? This lard ball only crushed its prey by rolling over them. it couldn't bend itself with dimensions like that. Like folding a phone book in half."

I think you mis-read; it's 40 feet long and 10 feet in GIRTH around it's fattest bit. I suppose all things are relative, so if it was squishing a sabre-toothed tiger or something it would be able to bend enough.

Can't wait until global warming gets to the point where we can expect to see these at Twycross Zoo. Hell, we could feed elephants to it!!

Paris, 'cos she knows what to do with a big snake (allegedly).

Matt Bryant

RE: James O'Shea 

Go

Shurely you would have to swing past Number 10 and Number 11 and rid us of Broooooooon and Dorkling first? And please take your snake walkies/slithers through Hollywood as there are a number of gormless luvvies that need to stop telling us how to live from up in their ivory towers.

Anonymous Coward

@tom 

Stop

10ft around means >3ft diameter.

Anonymous Coward

Dune. 

IT Angle

Does this remind anyone of the worms of Arakis?

Paul

RE:tom currie and RE:What always interested me... 

RE: tom currie

10ft round... About 2ft diameter.

RE:What always interested me...

3ft, not 30ft Dragonflys. oh, and as I remember, somewere around 30%, compaird to 19%-20% today.

Anonymous Coward

Hot rainforests were tested years ago 

Increasing the temperature increased CO2 output - trees used extra energy to defend themselves from fungi and insects.

Phil Royall

Meh... 

Coat

They've been living underground in the Nevada desert for at nearly 20 years now.

Mike Richards

@Anonymous Coware (re: Carbononiferous air) 

It's been suggested that oxygen might have been up to 35% of the atmosphere which would put it well above the level where fire becomes a real threat even in the soggiest conditions. But, in the absence of any trapped atmospheric samples from the Carboniferous, this is an extrapolation from modern insect physiognomy.

Eddy Ito

Think of the children! 

Happy

Playing in the back yard while Pa enjoys a nice cocktail as the snake steaks cook on the grill. Oh look, the neighbors are bringing a salad and wine, how thoughtful.

Wyrmhole

+1 (title requirement solution kit here) 

Heart

+1 for global-warmingists. Now we can scare children with giant snakes if they don't finish their CO2 emissions.

Pete

The last member 

of the 'Association of Mega-Snakes Against Global Cooling' .

David Wiernicki

That's all well and good 

Coat

...but how big were the badgers?

Anonymous Coward

All those damn motorists, heating up the planet millions of years ago like that. 

Joke

The should have been using electric cars, silly goofs.

J

Re: 30ft dragonflies 

Black Helicopters

You meant 30 inches (wingspan) dragonflies. That's 2.5 ft.

And using proper measurement units (SI) would make things much clearer, methinks.

Giant dragonfly icon.

Anonymous Coward

Question is, 

how do you stick such a snake on a plane?

Anonymous Coward

Extinction 

Coat

I suspect Al Gore bored them to death with all of his talk of Global Cooling.

BioTube

Coming soon to SciFi 

Joke

Titanoboa!

On a more serious note, won't you be sorry when they swim over to England and you've got nothing to shoot them with. Now then, does this clip go to the M16 or the AK?

Chris Seiter

@Dave 

Thumb Up

Badger goes well with mushrooms

Anonymous Scotsman

@ Biotube 

I dare say you'd need a small piece of field artillery to deal with something of that construction.

Or possibly just run it over with a tram.

David Austin

Title 

Great. Now I have images of Samuel L Jackson yelling:

"I have had it with these mother-f'ing planes on this mother-f'ing snake!"

P. Lee

In Titanboa, no-one can hear you scream... 

Boffin

@Phil Royall: Living in the Nevada desert? Why weren't they hiding with the rest of the dinosaurs behind the sofa?

Icon: Trussssst in meeeee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s46SgIBpQ-Q

al

Drinking south american coffee.. 

Coat

... can shrink the rainforests faster.

Anyway - i hear in this recession no one is going to starbux anymore....

Anonymous Coward

@ Biotube 

Stop

Neither! Both take magazines not clips.

Astarte

That's a lot of snake 

Just think of the opportunities for a snake-oil dealer. Watching them mate might be intreresting.

Snake-head to snake-tail, 'Are you coming with me?'

Snake-tail, 'I'll be along later.'

Anonymous Coward

And 

this is why I am the way I am. I have always worn very warm trousers.

Anonymous Coward

Re: snakes on a plane 

I can just see the sequel: planes in a snake.