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back to article One-tonne 40ft snake prowled superhot prehistoric jungles

Scientists say they have discovered fossil remains of a colossal prehistoric snake that once roamed the superheated Paleocene jungles of South America. The one-tonne Titanoboa cerrejonensis would have been more than 40 feet long and ten feet around at its thickest. Investigating brainboxes say the mighty snake's huge size was …

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Bronze badge

Seems wise to say

that I for one welcome our Titanoboanic overlords. Please don't eat me, sire.

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Boffin

poppycock

fourty feet long and ten feet diameter? This lard ball only crushed its prey by rolling over them. it couldn't bend itself with dimensions like that. Like folding a phone book in half.

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Boffin

What always interested me...

was the 30ft dragonflies of the Carboniferous period when all our oil and coal was being laid down. The size of an insect is limited by how much oxygen its primitive breathing system can absorb. What percentage of oxygen would the atmosphere have to have to support a 30ft dragonfly?

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Anonymous Coward

Proves global warming

...is nothing to worry about. <gulp>

So how many of these would fit into Wales?

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Wasn't it recently shown...

...That rainforests were a net producer (or at best a very weak absorber) of CO2? Can't rember where I read it, but I could swear I did...

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Bronze badge

snake food

I want one of those for a pet. I'd feed it climate clowns, and the world would be better for it. When I run out of climate clowns, I'd feed it PETA whackjobs. The world would be a _much_ better place as a result. After that, perhaps a tour of Parliament, starting with the Tory backbench. (Not that there's a difference between the Tories and NuLab, but I've got to start somewhere.)

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Thumb Up

Rainforests are not the lungs of the planet

Sea algea produces far more O2.

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Dead Vulture

Fail

What percentage of deforestation is attributable to biofuel plantations, exactly?

So biofuel - bad, climate change - good for trees.

Oh, just a moment, I thought you previously suggested that climate change was a myth?

Given particular views on new tech, especially emergant env. tech, did you also argue against unleaded petrol, and for dumping nuclear waste at sea? Now you're jesting that climate change would be positive!!

Excuse me, I prefer my rejurgated news without a spinkling of luddite BS, and the revenue from my page hit to go somewhere more worthy.

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Paris Hilton

@Tom

"fourty feet long and ten feet diameter? This lard ball only crushed its prey by rolling over them. it couldn't bend itself with dimensions like that. Like folding a phone book in half."

I think you mis-read; it's 40 feet long and 10 feet in GIRTH around it's fattest bit. I suppose all things are relative, so if it was squishing a sabre-toothed tiger or something it would be able to bend enough.

Can't wait until global warming gets to the point where we can expect to see these at Twycross Zoo. Hell, we could feed elephants to it!!

Paris, 'cos she knows what to do with a big snake (allegedly).

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Silver badge
Go

RE: James O'Shea

Shurely you would have to swing past Number 10 and Number 11 and rid us of Broooooooon and Dorkling first? And please take your snake walkies/slithers through Hollywood as there are a number of gormless luvvies that need to stop telling us how to live from up in their ivory towers.

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Stop

@tom

10ft around means >3ft diameter.

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IT Angle

Dune.

Does this remind anyone of the worms of Arakis?

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RE:tom currie and RE:What always interested me...

RE: tom currie

10ft round... About 2ft diameter.

RE:What always interested me...

3ft, not 30ft Dragonflys. oh, and as I remember, somewere around 30%, compaird to 19%-20% today.

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Anonymous Coward

Hot rainforests were tested years ago

Increasing the temperature increased CO2 output - trees used extra energy to defend themselves from fungi and insects.

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Coat

Meh...

They've been living underground in the Nevada desert for at nearly 20 years now.

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@Anonymous Coware (re: Carbononiferous air)

It's been suggested that oxygen might have been up to 35% of the atmosphere which would put it well above the level where fire becomes a real threat even in the soggiest conditions. But, in the absence of any trapped atmospheric samples from the Carboniferous, this is an extrapolation from modern insect physiognomy.

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Silver badge
Happy

Think of the children!

Playing in the back yard while Pa enjoys a nice cocktail as the snake steaks cook on the grill. Oh look, the neighbors are bringing a salad and wine, how thoughtful.

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Heart

+1 (title requirement solution kit here)

+1 for global-warmingists. Now we can scare children with giant snakes if they don't finish their CO2 emissions.

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The last member

of the 'Association of Mega-Snakes Against Global Cooling' .

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Coat

That's all well and good

...but how big were the badgers?

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Joke

All those damn motorists, heating up the planet millions of years ago like that.

The should have been using electric cars, silly goofs.

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J
Black Helicopters

Re: 30ft dragonflies

You meant 30 inches (wingspan) dragonflies. That's 2.5 ft.

And using proper measurement units (SI) would make things much clearer, methinks.

Giant dragonfly icon.

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Anonymous Coward

Question is,

how do you stick such a snake on a plane?

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Coat

Extinction

I suspect Al Gore bored them to death with all of his talk of Global Cooling.

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Joke

Coming soon to SciFi

Titanoboa!

On a more serious note, won't you be sorry when they swim over to England and you've got nothing to shoot them with. Now then, does this clip go to the M16 or the AK?

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Thumb Up

@Dave

Badger goes well with mushrooms

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@ Biotube

I dare say you'd need a small piece of field artillery to deal with something of that construction.

Or possibly just run it over with a tram.

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Title

Great. Now I have images of Samuel L Jackson yelling:

"I have had it with these mother-f'ing planes on this mother-f'ing snake!"

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Silver badge
Boffin

In Titanboa, no-one can hear you scream...

@Phil Royall: Living in the Nevada desert? Why weren't they hiding with the rest of the dinosaurs behind the sofa?

Icon: Trussssst in meeeee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s46SgIBpQ-Q

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al
Coat

Drinking south american coffee..

... can shrink the rainforests faster.

Anyway - i hear in this recession no one is going to starbux anymore....

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Stop

@ Biotube

Neither! Both take magazines not clips.

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That's a lot of snake

Just think of the opportunities for a snake-oil dealer. Watching them mate might be intreresting.

Snake-head to snake-tail, 'Are you coming with me?'

Snake-tail, 'I'll be along later.'

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Anonymous Coward

And

this is why I am the way I am. I have always worn very warm trousers.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: snakes on a plane

I can just see the sequel: planes in a snake.

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