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back to article Nigerian car thief turns into sheep

We're not quite sure what to make of this report in Nigeria's Vanguard, but it appears that police in Ilorin, Kwara State, are holding in custody a chap who tried to steal a Mazda, transformed himself into a sheep and was seized by vigilantes in a swift ovine suppression operation. The paper sort of explains that the head of the …

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Joke

I Can See The Spam Emails Now...

Dear Sir,

Blessed greetings! I have the pleasure of informating your very god self that you have been named in the will of a Nigerian resident. You inheritence is one sheep that can turn into a man. Please send $150,000 dollars to cover shipping and bureacratic expenses along with you contact and bank account details.

Blessed God be with you.

Miriam Abacha

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First goats - now sheep !

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1127012/Police-arrest-goat-accused-armed-robbery.html

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419 is a title

Esteemed sir or madam,

I am ecstatic to offer you opportunity to buy share in stolen magic sheep technology..

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But remember . . .

It couldn't happen if they were carrying Identity Cards.

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Sheep-Shifting...

...in the 24th Century? Maybe, but what are the advantages of turning into a slow and helpless animal? ^^

Still, the story is great and I can´t believe they really filed that report ^^

One of the Officers was playing to much WoW it seems xD

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Coat

Baaamy!!

I'll gets my coat :)

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Black Helicopters

Maybe this is what happened to Bin Laden

'cause the US government sure as hell can't find him.

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Silver badge

Ker-ching!

"we have no doubt that by the 24th century sheep-shifting technology will be widely available."

Surely time for the EC to fund a research project into this crucial new technology. Put me down for €6 million, ta. I promise a full report by 2075.

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Alien

sheepish

i saw a man breaking into a car last night and he did look a bit sheepish.

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Coat

Please help free my relative from Nigerian prison

Greetings,

I proposition you with grat change to profit and help free my dear brother who is held captive in jail.

If you help we will lovely share treasure which brother hid before his arrest.

Please send via correspondence your banking information so that we share may the treasure in thanks for your donation for bail.

respectfully,

Char Ickthumpitywham

Brother of wrongly incarcerated sheep

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Boffin

24th century

Everyone knows there are shapeshifters in the 24th century, Odo for example.

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Gates Horns

Oh come on.......

of course its possible. Look at Labour Ministers ,they came into power as human beings and then once in power they turned into money grabbing pigs . Now if Nigeria 3 Centuries ahead of us then of course someone can easily turn into a sheep, LOL.

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Sheep Plx

Clearly the Tank called for a Sheep pull, but it went wrong. Good thing they didnt draw to much agro.

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Thumb Down

Hmmm

Saw this last week, only the suspect turned into a goat. Is your source for this story an intense game of internet Chinese Whispers?

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Silver badge

Ewe must be joking

Ah, so many, many times a simple man has pronounced himself to be a ram (usually to rhe disappointment of others).

This time someone is trying to pull the wool over our eyes as some bloke has been fingered for twocking and his mates on the estate are saying he ain't around. The local cops aren't so sure so the lads have put a shell-suit on a passing sheep and a bit of cheap bling. "Lo, behold" they cry, "Our mate has transformed in to an ovine creature and as such can't get an ASBO".

It has not been mentioned whether the lads had a go at working out the sex of the sheep and unlucky if he'd changed in to a gorgeous looking lamb-lady.

"I'm baaad, I'm baaaad, you know it!"

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ian
Bronze badge

Is this the same part of Nigeria?

Is this northern Nigeria where a woman was stoned to death (Sharia law don't you know) fpr adultery? I hope the sheeple were made into shishkebabs as punishment in this case. Mmmm, car thief.

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Happy

I want

Four pints of whatever it was that they were drinking!

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@ AC "Hmmmm"

Saw a copy of the source yesterday which was sent over by someone working in Nigeria. Seems that there is an explosion of shape-shifting crime over there!

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Silver badge

Sheepinator

Someone played too many computer games ....

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Silver badge

Does this mean

The Nigerian police are saying that the thieves managed to pull the wool over their eyes?

Purl-eese! They must be right knits. That must have really given them the needle. I think they've lost the thread.

Maybe they could just grab some usual suspects and stitch them up?

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Flame

What no credit?

I sent this to the reg this morning via news@theregister.co.uk and no bootnote saying "thanks to Paul in Leeds for the tip."

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Coat

Now this is just baaaad

I know I know, I feel a bit sheepish about the title. Just remember when men turn into sheep there is only yew to blame. Wow I regret this whole post, my hands are a bit lammy and my head is all wolly. I'll get my coat now =P.

@Paul: That's minus 50 DKP for not knowing what the F***K to do!

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Happy

@Does this mean

You missed one. Should have been "grab some EWEsual suspects"!

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Go

I think they handle our AIX systems

The writing style is uncannily similar to that of our dedicated AIX support, however a sheep transformation would at least be something, as opposed to a lengthy report in abstract f*ckwittian on how they once again forgot all about UUID and Groups.

Mind you i keeps me in a job :)

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Go

well the motive is clear

They obviously wanted the car to do a little ram-raiding.

The police should dye all its wool orange and then let it go; and the next day arrest the first man they see with orange hair...

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Alert

"it's not possible for such incident to happen in this twenty fourth century"

We need to find out which 24th century he is from, maybe they can harness the technology to stop a tragedy like this from happening again.

Think of the children that confused, joy-riding sheep could have ploughed through if it hadn't been stopped while still stumbling at the ignition with it's bovine hooves. Just think about the innocent children! Go on. Think about their little lives being cut short by a drug-addled, bleating miscreant of the worst kind.

The sooner we can develop anti-sheep technology the better. They're everywhere you know!

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Vindaloo

So, if you ate the sheep, and then it turned back into a person, would that retroactively make you into a canibal?

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Coat

Ewe must be joking

It was previously reported as a goat, wasn't it?

Funny how reports get scrambled as they are passed on. Much like the story of the man who was arrested for having sex with a goat. Further reports said his friend was arrested for acting the goat.

Mine is the one with a mutton sandwich in the pocket...

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Thumb Up

"Sheep Shifting?! Sheep Shifting???!!"

Baaaah'd punster, baaaaah'd! Ewe otter be ashamed of yourself.

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Joke

Lamb Kebab Gang!

Last seen driving off in a stolen Lambaginni !

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Bronze badge
Coat

I've received...

this strange email:

BAA BAA,

BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA MINISTER OF FINANCE BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA US$20,000,000 BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA...

I've get me coat, before I'm fleeced.

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Coat

update

latest news.....prisoner has escaped and gone on the lam(b)

..mines the new sheep skin jacket (my ma said it cost a packet)

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