'I HOPE YOUR HOUSE IS NEAR THE SEA HAHAHAHA!!!!'
Yes, it's a welcome return for Flame of the Week. Presumably ignited by this story - although the subject line suggests an accumulation of tinder. From: ozgur yigit Subject: re register storys Date: 28 January 2009 16:58:09 GMT To: Andrew Orlowski YOU BUSH LOVING CRICHTON READING MUDERING EVIL YANK SCUM!!! IM AMAZED A UK SITE …
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I'm not entirely convinced...
...this is for real. It's too odd.
Great!
That is perfect example of a FToW. The all caps, the multiple exclamation marks... the ridiculous offenses...
Actually, it is too perfect... are you sure you didn't write yourself just to revive the section?
Yes, yes, I'm leaving... there is no need to call the police...
AHHHHHHH...
...MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS STUCK ON.
KSEFJKSJDFNVKVORFPWEPODDJFKDLSKDJDKFNASaasdjkjcm... ahh there we go...
Poor FoTW
There's too much correct spelling.
And to wish you to be near the sea to be flooded is rather too intellectual too. If the'd wanted you ass-raped or something, that would work better.
If this was the flamiest, you've had a good month.
Near the sea
I wish I had a house near the sea. That would be nice.
I'm not usually a fan of Orlowski's articles...
... but I couldn't find a fault with his sole climate change article this week. Seemed like perfectly good journalism to me; we all know from previous op-ed pieces that he, ummm, doesn't agree with outlets such as the BBC on current climate change science but that piece was entirely neutral. Or maybe the flamer thinks Orlowski is some sort of witch and will melt if he comes into contact with water?
I'd love to know...
...which story he thought he was replying to.
Me bad...
Oops. I'll put in the URL to the one I *think* prompted this email.
Authentic
I can believe this is real - I play World of Warcraft and i've met people a lot worse than that ;)
Wow
Ok I think mr. ozgur needs some Valium and little time out. But it meets the classic FoTW requirements. All caps, massive punctuation, no discernible point, etc. So over all nice job ozgur and congrats on getting your rant published in El Reg. Now be a good psycho and go back to your corner.
BTW we need a FoTW book choc full of all the best, I can only imagine the mountain of potential material you have. Some come on guys lets have it, I'm sure it'll be a hit :-).
Paris, cos she has more brains than all the authors of all the FoTW letters combined.
Is this him?
Andrew - do you think is our man?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ozgur-Yigit/712352209
He's "friends" with Henry Kissinger, so maybe not.
Sounds good to me
I wish I owned lots of oil shares (especially Shell today) and owned a house beside the sea....
There's just no class with rants anymore...
Where's Webster when we need him????
It takes a special kind of twunt to....
buy a Prius and this twunt fits the bill.
I'll drive faster tomorrow just to take out a few more cuddly polar bears in the name of Ozgur.
Paris 'cos her name is less daft
What an overreaction
What an overreaction... *shakes head* bloody hell. The incoherency of it really takes the cake... kudos on the excellent flame of the week.
Hm, not quite
Reasonable effort, but it was basically due to the CAPS and !!!!!!s. (there wasn't even a 1 in there!!!1!, FFS)
Spelling and grammar were too good (for FOTW). "Yank scum" was the closest to swearing that he (?) got there. He did say "Bush", though. Not really steaming-coming-out-of-the-ears material. Sounds too much like a conscious effort -- which pretty much invalidates FOTW contention status, doesn't it? (I thought FOTW was something that have to come from the "reptilian part" of the brain, you know, unfiltered by niceties like a neocortex)
A 5 out of 10, I'd say.
OK c'mon Andy...
...where are you hiding all those oil shares? :-)
Silly me! Under the seat of that dual-fuel Hummer you drive: it runs on baby seal oil and high-sulphur coal right? And are those polar bear hide covered seats?
@ Iam Me
"BTW we need a FoTW book "
THIS IS CUTTIN DOWN OV TREEZ AN MAKIN GLOBAL WAmRING WORSER!
i HOPE U HAV A HOUS BY THE SEE AS WEL
Welcome to Earth, douchebag
Really. Sir. The seaside will fall into the ocean without your wishes.
The worst part is people like him will take normal events out of context to prove their correctness. It really is like a cult or a superstition.
Paris, cult-like.
Nom de Plume
Ozgur Yigit is also the name of a fairly successful and quite funny cartoonist.
Who knew
"YOU, BUSH LOVING CRICHTON READING MUDERING EVIL, YANK SCUM!!!"
Don't think anything of it, a love of being out in the bush doesn't make you a cretin, it just means he can't spell. How is "Murdering Evil"? Being a cheap bastard, I've been waiting for the paperback to come out. Finally, don't take his advice, yanking scum isn't all it's cracked up to be.
The Yank Scum part...
...was the best. If I'm not mistaken, Andrew is not a Colonial at all...so this should be
YOU BLAIR LOVING CRICHTON READING MUDERING EVIL LIMEY SCUM!!!
There! Done my part for the editorial desk! Now to buy tickets to my place on Eluthera just a couple of miles from the Pink Sand and down some frosties made with real rum...
I wonder if I've ever won a FoTW
Do they notify the winner by email? I usually post my really odd rants as AC, would they notify you if you had posted AC? And am often pointless or at least loose track of the initial point. It sure is fun to rant though.
For crying out loud. This is not even a flame...
I thought you euro-folk were all one big happy family and yet you cannot muddle through one broken english email composed by some poor eastern european fellow who was clearly lumbered with one of those dodgy dell keyboards with no shift keys - just caps lock. Allow me to assist and defang this ravenous wolfpack.
YOU BUSH LOVING CRICHTON READING MU[r]DERING EVIL YANK SCUM! [ I am confused as to whether you are violent right wing american, or a heterosexual snuff fetishist who spends a lot of time in airport bookshops, but in any case, I address you]
I[']M AMAZED A UK SITE PRINTS YOUR LIES! [I am unfamiliar with both the definition of "lies" as well as the generally variable standard of the British media, but on the up side it means I am in a perpetual, rapturous, state of amazement]
YOU CLEARLY OWN LOTS OF OIL SHARES AND YOU ARE AFRAID OF THE TRUTH! [I expect from your general demeanor that you are prudently invested with a broad portfolio including resource stocks and I also expect that you, like all of us, find it difficult to come to terms with some of the harsh realities of our existence. To be human is to fear. You are my brother and I love you.]
I HOPE YOUR HOUSE IS NEAR THE SEA HAHAHAHA! [I sure wish mine was. Hahahaha.]
WHY DONT YOU AND YOUR FELLOW SUPPORTERS JOIN THE HUMAN CIVILISATION NOW THAT YOU HAVE LOST YOUR EVIL DICTATOR AND STOP WRITING THIS RUBBISH [With the general freedoms we all possess in the absence of an evil dictatorship, I welcome you and your friends to come see me and my Human League tribute band "The Human Civilisation". Don't feel as if you have to work. We play Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Old Lamprey's Arms. Please buy a CD. We need a new Korg]
check out the rest of the Windows Live [Microsoft didn't have the decency to leave it be with Windows Live]
More than mail–Windows Live™ goes way beyond your inbox. [It goes way too far]
More than messages. [Frustrated, eventually some stalkers cross the line and become truly dangerous. We help them across the line]
Cuddly polar bears EAT cuddly seal pups
A different "Anonymous" wrote:
"cuddly polar bears"
Those wouldn't, by any chance, be the same cuddly polar bears that make the ice (and their own cuddly fur) turn red with the blood from the cute cuddly SEAL PUPS they're EATING, now, would it?
Guess it's okay for bears to kill things, just as long as humans don't kill things. Same principle for wolves and other blood-thirsty predators. People want to protect wolves and bears and other natural-born killers, but not protect humans or other types of animals.
- U.S. vegan who doesn't buy into all of the left-wing liberal stuff.
</OT ranty lecture-type thing>
Very Odd...
I don't understand it. An email in caps, and not a single mention of an uncle who's an oil minister, or FIFTEEN MILION DOLLARS ($15000000).
I don't even think that Ozgur is Nigerian...
@Cuddly polar bears EAT cuddly seal pups
On a point of fact, animals don't tend to kill each other for the sheer hell of it, or to make decorations (cosmetics) out of their dead prey.
The only thing missing...
...where was the hint at anti-semitism in this flame? Can't believe he forgot to add it. Or maybe the treehugger hasn't graduated to the upper echelons of eco-socialism where all is revealed (the belief that Jews rule the world and can only be brought down by destroying modernity and free markets by returning to environmentally friendly savage patriarchal tribalism).
FoTW??
Is it just me, or are these "weeks" a bit far apart?
We need more of these, or is ElReg getting a bit soft and not writing enough provocative articles?
Missing! One idiot.
Somewhere in Turkey a village is missing its idiot.
I can see the signs on the lamp posts now.
'Kayıp'
Bir salak,
Bizim salağımız görürsen lütfen
0212 665 56 56 arayın
If everything you know is wrong...
Take heart...
I never considered you 'Bush lovers...' (those are very infrequent on the far left side of the Pacific (England/Britain and Euro in between)...
The poster of the diatribe, btw, probably never read Ayn Rand, and doubtfully correctly knows much of anything ( to include: maners, civility and good humour.)
Keeping in mind one of my most liked quotes:
If everything you know is wrong... You know nothing.
Well, keep up the good work. Even though sometimes I disagree, you are a source of good information.
Hope you read this before the hang-over hits.
I might say I have found something they are qualified for...
LOL
A microsoft using anti Western-ite...
That's just comical in itself...
Come to think of it... are anti globalisationists all Linux users? Do none of them own Ipods, or clothes from PriMark... or use cheap shampoo from Aldi?
There's no class to rants these days, and no purity to the protaganists either...
Paris, because she doesn't pretent to stand for anything moralistic.
Worrying signature
"Windows Live™ goes way beyond your inbox."
Is that a threat?
Um
""Windows Live™ goes way beyond your inbox."
Is that a threat?"
Sadly, it appears to be a promise.
@FoTW??
"Is it just me, or are these "weeks" a bit far apart?"
The Truth(TM) is that Vulture central moves at a speed much closer to the speed of light than we do. Therefore, given Einsteinian physics, time passes slower for them (and they are much heavier too, but don't really tell them that; that'd be rude), and what looks like a week to them is months to us here. Simple as that.
insanity defintely...
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."
New verse for the Barney song?
I love you.
You love me.
I hope your house is near the sea.
[runs]
@Anonymous Coward
"On a point of fact, animals don't tend to kill each other for the sheer hell of it, or to make decorations (cosmetics) out of their dead prey."
ever owned a cat?
I HOPE YOUR HOUSE IS NEAR THE SEA
Me too, houses near the sea tend to be worth more. I hope its not too near any cliffs though as once those bad boys start eroding it aint going to be worth a penny.
Good sailing too near the sea.
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