Defective by Design
"Hi, Driver!
We at Microsoft enjoy creating the best experience for you that we can, which is why we've created this list of technologies and locations suitable for our new flagship product, Microsoft Autmobile 8. You may wonder why you need to read this list. I mean, you'd EXPECT the world to keep up with the most recent standards and technologies, wouldn't you? I know *I* am not still watching VHS videon and listening to 8-track!
Unfortunately, there are still some stick-in-the-mud, die-hard fasc^H^H^H^manufacturers who insist on using old and out of date standards, and who believe that "tried and tested" is better "cutting edge"
So, without further delay, here's the list!
- Your Microsoft Automobile is not compatible with regular Petrol. You must buy your Microsoft Petrol from Microsoft Value Added Resellers.
- Your Microsoft Automobile is not compatible with regular roads. You must buy Microsoft Tyres to drive on Microsoft Roads, as the wheels are custom made for greater efficiency! Shiny shiny!
- Your Microsoft Automobile is not compatible with certain destinations. You may experience less than satisfactory performance from your Microsoft Automobile when attempting to visit Apple Stores, Open Source seminars, demonstrations against Digital Restr^H^H^H^H^HRIGHTS Management, and anybody with a VW Camper Van and long hair.
- Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0 Y3B0
Well, thanks for reading the list! We hope you'll have a wonderful time at sites we have approved!
Kind reagrds,
Microsoft.com
*N.B. Parody. Don't sue.*