If we brought you news of a new web robot then you’d probably think we meant a some form of online android, right? But a Japanese firm’s developed the mechanical equivalent of Spider-man. The T-34 is a four-wheeled security droid that fires a net at anyone who breaks into its patrol zone. The Spider-man style weapon envelops the …
And it's ringtone must be
I'll just get my coat then....
This system is dependant on the burglars willingness to cooperate by rolling around on the floor like the guy in the picture rather then standing up and legging it with the expensive robot.
couldn't you just like turn it over onto it's back like a tortoise? Or chuck it out of the window? Or stamp on it?
Not quite like the original T-34 then.
The Russian WW2 tank:
Which is probably for the best.
It's also for the best that it wasn't developed in the USA as well, otherwise the net would probably electrocute the prisoner and automatically water-board them whilst taking pictures to post on the intertubes as well.
Damn title required....
That looks about as effective as trying to catch a tiger with a sheet of kleenex.
Isn't that a paradox? Surely a security robot sufficiently ineffective to be vulnerable to theft while in actual operation wouldn't be worth stealing? Who would buy a security robot that can't even protect itself?
Where is the ROTM flag?
How are we supposed to keep track of the fearsome escalation in arms bringing us closer and closer to cybergedon?
Has the Reg been taken over by the machines?
The fake perp in the video was trying so hard to look like he was subdued.
The T-34 lays on its back, its underside baking in the hot room, turning its wheels trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Until someone steals one of these robots?
In fact, it'll probably the most expensive piece of kit in a lot of offices!
I'm fairly confident I could outwit one of these things with nothing but a halloween mask, a stick and a paid of Nikes.
That's like the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
who doesn't carry a knife?
and really, can't you just pick up the net and sling it over your back and keep stealing?
and doesn't that net make a handy binding for all your booty?
and it doesn't lash you to the machine?
and who isn't going to destroy that machine once they get netted?
It also helps if your ne-er do well waits patiently for the net to work.
Looks a bit like Cato..
All I can say about this
Is I watched the video and I lold.. Oh yes, yes I did. Cos really this thing is a joke in every conceivable way. Though I like the part where the fake perp was attempting to make it look as though the net was effective. Not an oscar winning performance though.
Nice is this a new Burgular Aid!!
So it fires a net that could be used carry all the kit you've just nabbed looks big too so you should be able to get a fair bit in there.
Totally useless, and very sub-par from these folk.
Now if it turned into a truck, or you can assemble 4-5 of them together form a super-robot... that would be acceptable.
Does it even scream HADOKEN when it fires the net? No, it does not. Weak.
Of course, the real point is to point out just how stupid and useless this is. Anyone read Dragonlance? Remember the Tinker Gnomes? They had a crossbow that did this. It was really dumb too.
[[ the T-34 can move at lightening speeds of up to 6mph]]
Were robots that moved faster having trouble with the increased effective mass as they approached the speed of light? So, this robot remains near its normal mass by not going above 6mph?
Or did the author, perhaps, mean "lightning", as in the bolt of electricity that flicks between sky and ground quicker than a blink?
Seriously, though, I want to see two of these robots fight it out in the cage.
Erm, equip flail?
From the vid: time needed to get rid of the net (without any tool):~2 seconds. And the guy is not even trying hard. It might work against dogs though. If it wasn't so damn slow.
So we have a burglar-catching bot which relies on :
-the burglar sitting in front of the robot, at 2-3 m, without moving, for a few seconds
-the burglar not trying to get rid of the net
-the burglar, admittedly too startled to think of getting rid of the net, not wanting to take off, pulling the robot with him (seriously, how heavy can that thing possibly be? 20 kg, max? And the shitty wheels seem to provide very little adherence).
I don't see this thing catching any burglar anytime soon.
Can't see the video?
Instead of recommending getting Adobe Flash how about "Disable NoScript for reghardware.co.uk?
That's sooooo lame!
Seriously. You can't be afraid of that thing, can you? Its about as dangerous as a garden gnome. Something like this could only come from the country that brought us Hello Kitty and used panty vending machines.
ED209 now is it?
"You have 10 seconds to comply"
I saw something very similar on a documentary once, only they used the brain of an almost dead bloke and they gave the robot guns instead of lame nets. Very worrying.
oh, wait... maybe that was robocop.
@Can't see the video
Why would we disable what we've deliberately enabled? All it takes is to click on the video, no disabling for the whole site is required.
This robot is just the beginning. Won't be long till our overlords equip them with taser darts too, should be a fairly trivial retrofit. The next logical step is installing windows, so nobody's to blame when they go berserk.
and the Japanese are interested in two things - robots and kinky sex.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
You know it's the only explanation that makes sense.
It would be good if it shot multiple webs... imagine if it shot the first web and kept shooting until the burglar was subdued? I like the idea of this robot but in reality it is quite worthless.
6mph it's too bad when you think about it (if the burglar is moving his new found bounty, he might be a little stunned by a robot shooting multiple webs and moving quite quietly (I didn't have sound on this PC so I didn't hear the videos - just watched it).
Also it would be good if it stunned the person first - I imagine either very bright light (flash grenade style) or stun gun (tazer style weapon).
The video was comical though.
I must admit though a lot of security guards I have come across don't seem to be the most physical fit so I doubt they would be any better than this robot if confronted.
...will probably be flushed down the bath plughole.
Why bother with the robot?
Stick one of the net-guns (if they're any good) near likely entrance/exit points. Cheaper, and fixed units could use heavier gauge mesh. No need for the expensive & potentially unreliable robotics. Or, sticking with the spiderman theme, just stick the robots to the ceilings and let them fall on the intruder. A 20kg thwack should slow them down...
and if it misses?
"Excuse me sir, I appear to have missed, can I have my net back please?!" -STOMP! STOMP! CRUNCH!-
- SMASH the Bash bug! Apple and Red Hat scramble for patch batches
- BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports
- eXpat Files 'Could we please not have naked developers running around the office BEFORE 10pm?'
- NASA rover Curiosity drills HOLE in MARS 'GOLF COURSE'
- WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?