The recent Conisholme wind farm incident - in which one turbine shed a blade in highly mysterious circumstances - provoked a level of black helicopter activity not seen since NASA faked the 1969 Moon landing, with many suggesting extraterrestrial involvement. Well, we at El Reg have spent some time analysing a satellite image …
I can see this becoming
the most commented on article ever to grace the pages of El Reg
I for one welcome our windfarm turbine destroying overlords..........
You guys have too much time on your hands.
Nice try, but, Crops in Winter?
What no Ice cubes? Giant Martini etc..
It must be fri...
Proof that UK Stealth Tech Works!
as I cant see it in the Sat Image...
Well done chaps, another slice of the funding cake for you now...
Aliens because, well.....
This is why The Register is my primary source of news. Proper invetigative journalism and analysis with the high tec. edge that we have come to expect.
Keep up the good work.
That is all.
surely the caption writer has a screw loose!
Too many assumptions
First off your comments about the cows, have you asked Anni-Frid and Agnetha whther the next stage of their research will involve getting the cows on some marching powder. Would make for a good news story title the most obvious being "bovians on bolivian".
The Sun photographer certainly wouldn't be at the security cordon when their is an Australian humping an inflatible doll.
The dog handler wouldn't be having a chat with the other parties the dog would be doing the chatting and they'd all be running.
As for the unknown alloys, I think you'll find they are self tapping screws for wood/plasterboard and alike.
Mine's the one filled with plastic toys of a playmobil variety.
(P.S. quality mock-up by the way, how much playmobil does El-Reg have in the office?)
I'm unemployed, FFS!!!
I can't afford to give any more keyboards to the Coffee Fairy!
Stoppit, already! (Christ, and to think it's only Monday...What are you buggers gonna hit me with on Friday???)
Is it Friday again already?
The week in Playmobil
But where's the crash-landed Airbus A320?
Wot, no Captain Chesley Sullenberger III?
Shame on you!
Reporting at it's finest.
It's this kind of detective work, wich simply can't be found on other sites, that brings me back to el reg day after day.
The truth is out there...
proof that UFOs do not exist and we are being bothered bothersomely by lots of human aliens from outside our borders.
I cannot tell you how much your superior investigative journalism has astounded and amazed me, while making me laugh so much I added to global warming.
Keep up the good work.
A quick check...
...of skin tones, highlights, smoothing artifacts, and shadows, suggests that these photos may have been photoshopped.
All very funny, but i suspect all it serves to do is distract the simple minded from the actual cause - testing of the LHC, some 18 months from now, will/has cause(d) ripples throughout space-time that displaced several objects throughout history. Flight 19, the gunman on the grassy knoll, Pete Best - improbable and inexplicable disappearances that all were/are/will be symptoms of this time ripple.
In this particular case the turbine was destroyed when the space it occupied was intruded upon by an instantaneously transported UFO that had, until then, been cruising the American mid-west eviscerating cattle and probing startled farmhands... as well as the odd cashed up businessmen of particular and peculiar tastes.
Pete Best is best... he just isnt in this plane of existence anymore.
I've not seen images as shocking as these since my last super-strong cheese binge held too close to bedtime !
Best job in the world...
forget being kaka and getting paid half a million a week, I want to be paid to play with playmobile :)
Fooking funny though :)
The series is getting better and better :D
It deserves its own NSFW-style tag IMO.
the 1969 Moon landing?
Which 1969 Moon landing did NASA fake? Apollo 11 (Landed July 1969) or Apollo 12 (landed November 1969). Are you suggesting Pete Conrad was the first man on the moon after all?
Paris - because even she remembers which man got 'there' first.
is about the only acronym I can sum up.
Another epic tale.
Glad to see the creative juices still working there.
Could it be that the light aircraft from the business man may have hit the blades?
Or maybe some of the 5-year olds mates were playing chicken and dariing each other to stop the blades with some non-vital organ such as their heads?
Of course it COULD have been a US spy satellite flying a little low to get a better picture of something, but the controllers got mixed up between the metric and imperial systems and hit the blades at orbital velocities instead.
Just saying is all....
Or maybe that rather large balloon that NASA uses to hold stuff up in the air for a long time came down?
<how long is my lunch break??>
OR maybe some of that large HP packaging box got caught in a gust of wind ...
Or maybe it was just an un-balanced rotor that shook itself to bits.
That one area of land seems to have a higher crime count than even Midsomer!!!
Just what I need when my day's gone pear-shaped. Thanks you very much for the smile I am now wearing :D
Thank God that's solved then!
Having followed this on abovetopsecret.com (I think the thread is 27 pages long now), I'm glad to see that some proper reporting of the incident hasfinally been carried out by El Reg.
Clears the whole thing up for me.
Paris, 'cos I understand her favourite position is the "black helicopter."
neebl, neebl ("Welcome glorious reptilan overlords & pity about the landing" in Planet X-ian)
Thanks the Register
On what is (apparently) officially the most depressing day of all time this is exactly the tonic we need.
Keep up the good work
You missed the SEP
Can't you see the SEP field? Clearly evidence of alien technology, using the 'Somebody Else's Problem' field in an attempt to make themselves invisible.
Can't you see it? It's right there.
OK, it might just be your standard farmer's field, but I'm sticking with my theory.
Where's the Douglas Adams icon?
We are not worthy...
ROTFLMAO - I'm glad that I've yet to start eating! :)
Now you've cracked it, AND published the results, this means that Lester won't be around for the next 42 days.....
Mine's the one with the "I want an ID card" on the frone, and "Whacky Jacqui rules" on the back. (This is no time to be making enemies...)
Surely Optimus Prime was involved somehow? How did he avoid the cameras?
Re: Quality stuff
Yes indeed. But any more comments hereafter referencing the day of Friday will be booted into, er, next week.
It's Throw Your Weight Around Monday here on the mod desk.
im loving it we demand more reconstructions!
Bloody brilliant, though I was expecting Optimus to be at fault, but I guess he got deported :(
Now I know
why I read el Reg
Fair play Lester - you seem to have this job thing sussed - while the rest of us are worried about job security etc. in "the current econmic climate" (tm) you bravely soldier on - surely having convinced you boss to update your jobspec/role to include a section on playing with toys.
I'd just like to welcome everyone..
..to the best Article El Reg has ever managed.
Area 51 meets Space 42? ...... AIdDNA thing in Stealthy PGP2* Disguise.
"Watch this space... ® "
Crikey, Lester, you have me Spellbound and IT has certainly captured my Imagination. Whatever next in this space?
Don't tell me, a Special Forces team to the Novel Terrain to Short Circuit the Con, Trolling Power Fields and Currency Supply? And just in the Nick of Time too, considering the damage done and the right hash that can be made with UFOffologies.
* Pretty Good Privacy PerlyGatesPython ....... which pays Homage to Ruby on Rails and off on AITrails for a Walk and a Park on the Wild Side of Life and ITs Sinful Partnership with Viceless Love. .......... for a QuITe Perfectly Improbable Perpetual Energy Drive*. :-)
* Which to Add to Darling Prudence Woes, is Currently Challenging the Tweedledum and Tweedledee of the UKs Outrageous Misfortune to release some of the Newly Invented Quantitively Eased Flash Cash for AI Test Run, rather than wasting it as always with sad and maddening promises that it is available, but never being able or enabled to delivering the Goods to Energy Source for ITs Sorcery.
Can i place an order....
For an ounce of whatever you guys have been smoking in the office?!?!?!
Best, mockup, ever!
Mines the one with the Rizla packet...
Missed the story
I missed this story as i was out the country so what news did the goverment sneak out when this story broke? as theres nothijng like a UFO sighting/death of someone to sneak bad news out.
Did they get the insurance details of the UFO or is the tax payer liable again?
Shurely shome mishtake
This whole farrago would be more plausible were not the photographs so blatantly airbrushed. Even our most purulent tabloids would not have dared to published this specious blather.
I remain, Sirs,
Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells.
Paris, 'cos you nicked her Lego set.
Yer all wrong!
Pah and thrice pah!
We've not heard much of a certain person/machine for a while -- this was the latest incarnation of Kap'n Kev Cyborg but it's not right yet. Bit of a problem with one of the legs - sort of UFO I guess.
He's clearly visible in several of the pics, carefully camouflaged as a JCB to avoid disturbing the locals and giving the game away.
I suppose the comments are to be expected
They just show how easily the El Reg proles are pleased. Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls
I can see some of these pictures being photoshopped & blurred then appearing on various ufo/conspiracy websites shortly.
Oh, those are chipboard screws, clearly the aliens are looking for a fresh supplier of cheap furniture following MFI going bust. Just stick a sign to the nearest Homebase on a 200' pole & they'll cease bothering us.
What sort of news site is this? I'm seriously wondering why I visit this poor excuse for a new website you each day! So, if you don't balance the pirates with some ninja's immediately I'm going to write to my local MP!
Just excellent ...
Giving boobs to Lego women
Absolutely brilliant work. I would like to make a comment like "you guys do not have enough to do," or "must have been a slow news day," but here I am reading the article, comments, and then commenting myself.
I am a tad disappointed about the obvious lack of Optimus Prime (mentioned above,) as well as a Tazering incident. But, I suppose I simply cannot have everything.
I also have to say that I like the Playmobil sets. Finally, Lego women have the breasts they deserve. Now to see if the Lego men get the bulges the women want so desperately - in the wallet area.
Paris, wanting the bulges, showing that women can have boobs, be boobs, or both.
Especially the bit with the escaping US businessman, priceless :)
- JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack
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- GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait