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DHS deploys undercar Kraken tentacle-bombs

Edward Miles

May I be the first to say... 

Happy

...Om nom nom nom?

David S

Stick that in your Subaru, benefit cheats! 

I initially read that as "DHSS Deploys..." and figured it was something to combat all those families on benefits who somehow manage to have the latest widescreen TV / PS3 / supercharged sportscar / designer leasurewear...

Mildly disappointed to hear it's just another Eye-o-Sauron add-on. Hey ho.

Ian Emery

Copycats 

Black Helicopters

5th Gear showed a demo of a similar UK system YEARS ago.

Research stolen from Qinetic, now they are partially owned by the yanks??

Black choppers?? See them every Thursday over Malvern, near Qinetic!!!!

Matt Bryant

Interesting but.... 

Pirate

.... a single use device, whereas the cheap 'n' cheerful old Stinger can be re-used many times for more than one vehicle at a time, and doesn't require dangerous gas cannisters or the like, or any electrickery for remote control. I can't see the UK's cash-strapped forces going for this, nor many US forces, maybe not even the FBI. Still, an interesting application of technology.

Mark

Sounds wonderful but,.... 

Thumb Down

Look at the size of it, and the time needed to deploy it. Current measures like the stinger are thrown in front of the car you are trying to stop seconds before the car passes because your average speeding criminal who is desperate to get away has enough brain power to drive round it, not over it given the chance.

This looks like a great big block placed in the road that you would probably try and drive round, even if you didn't know what is was. Wonderful idea but i doubt it will work in its current form.

Nikolai Kuzmin

Heat activated second stage... 

Paris Hilton

What about cars with rear-mounted engines e.g. Porshe or ZAZ?

Steve

Fine in the test lab, maybe not on the road 

And what if the car doesn't go over it dead centre (center?) so that it only snags the wheels on one side? Sounds like a recipe for several tons of out-of-control steel rolling along the road.

Wasn't there an EMP-based thingy like that a few years ago? When fired under a car from a pursuing police vehicle it stuck up a couple of antennæ and zapped the car's electronics, leaving it to coast to a halt without power? A sort of trucktazer... never saw that deployed either.

Toastan Buttar

Tentacle Bombs ??? 

Some people might consider that 'Extreme Porn' !

Goatan

FAIL 

Thumb Down

When the police have enough trouble trying to get a stinger (a nastily barbed object 15ft long) in the path of a speeding car how do you expect to get an object the size of a large cake directly in the speeding vehicles way.

Employ more clowns??

Anonymous Coward

hmm 

Pretty sure I've seen these in anime somewhere, however I think it'd be far better to deploy Erectacocky - ultimate detarrant particularly in combat areas where everyone takes themselves a bit too seriously. http://www.animejump.com/modules/ProdReviews/images2/dominiondvd6.jpg

For such an iconic piece of anti-tank equipment I can't believe that was the only image I could find.

Anonymous Coward

What do they use for 

Happy

Front wheel drive cars?

Anonymous Coward

@Nikolai 

Black Helicopters

clearly need to ban these "foreign" vehicle that deviate from the American way of front engine, rear wheel drive. at the same time lock up all their owners as they're clearly probable terrorists

Chris Pearson

Stingers - single use? 

I thought the stinger used hollow barbs designed to snap off to aid rapid deflation, this would surly make it a single use item as the barbs are getting pulled off? Or at least it will have to get it's spikes replaced after each use.

darsyx

@David S 

I initially read it as "DFS deploys...." and thought it made a nice change from 1/2-price Sofas

Richard Porter

Stingers 

Thumb Down

Stingers can be used more than once because only a few of the barbs get pulled off each use.

What about leccy cars with motors in the wheels so no drive shafts, and with run flat tyres?

Anonymous Coward

@ Richard Porter 

Coat

"What about leccy cars with motors in the wheels so no drive shafts, and with run flat tyres?"

Then you just shoot the smug planet-saving bastard!

Roger Jenkins

Armoured car? 

Black Helicopters

It occurred to me that a use for this technology could be to immobilise armoured cars. That would be a very handy device for various organisations throughout the world. Maybe a bigger version may affect a tank, particularly if it only slows one track a little it would make life very difficult for the crew.

Craig Vaughton

Forget Kraken & Stinger... 

Black Helicopters

...Hellfire FTW

Black helicopters; that would be AH64D shaped ones!

Anonymous Coward

Stopping cars? 

Theres already a very effective method for stopping cars and it would certainly reduce the number of "joy" riding little chavs out there. Land mines. Or perhaps a shoulder mounted rocket?

And to the guy asking about the leccy cars... what joy rider in his right mind would steal a leccy car???

David S

@Darsyx 

Thumb Up

Now that would be an advert I'd pay to watch...

Gilbert Wham

@ Roger Jenkins 

If things are at such a pass that there are armoured, weapon bearing vehicles being driven at you, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to just shoot them with a rocket.

Rich

@David S 

Coat

I read that as DHSS too.

But all you really need to deal to chavs is a landmine designed to fit under cars of regulation rideheight, but be set off when a lowered Vauxhall Nova or similar passes over it.

Anonymous Coward

X-Net 

Boffin

As someone as already mentioned QinetiQ's X-Net is a simple stinger like device that attaches to the tires (rather than just puncturing them) and brings the vehicle to a stop in short order.

Jacob Reid

@Richard 

Paris Hilton

Well, electric cars are so crap you could probably keep up by running, or just driving behind it at 40mph until it runs out of battery after 30 min or so.

Anomalous Cowherd

DHS site 

Even worse is the next article:

"If you’re in the dairy business, moo-ving milk from the cow to the grocery aisle can keep you up late at night."

Sweet Jesus, I want to get off.

Thomas Kent

Or they could deploy... 

Coat

...a mattress:

http://jalopnik.com/5106002/jeep-runs-over-mattress-develops-shimmy-from-mass-of-wires-cords-attached-to-drivetrain

Although, it DID fail to stop the vehicle for 30 miles. The owner took it to a garage "complaining of a shimmy"!

Mines the one with the Sealy Posturpedic in the pocket.

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