"Welcome to Moon Unit Resolition
Please leave all pins, staples, knives, sharp pencils and fountain pens in the bin provided. Thank you.
Should you discover a leak, emergency gaffa tape is provided in the red containers mounted throughout the facility. Thank you.
Do not run at the walls and then bounce off exclaiming 'Whee!'. Thank you.
We would like to remind all guests that the only thing protecting you from the hard vacuum of space is a few millimetres of plastic made by the lowest bidder. Y'all have a nice day now."