fitted "advanced GPS sensors and animal monitoring devices" #
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:01 GMT
Er, why?
Had someone predicted the earthquake?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 15:50 GMT
..They didnt Steak any money on it....
mines the one being pelted with eggs
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:01 GMT
Er, why?
Had someone predicted the earthquake?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:06 GMT
If two of them were lying down before, during and after the event, has anyone checked that they are still alive?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:07 GMT
wouldn't you be better off sitting (or lying) down during an earthquake anyway ?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:07 GMT
Can someone check if they were testing the Milton Keynes cows, or the slightly more natural variety?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:07 GMT
where can I get a job like that?
Hell, I'd love to get paid for sit around putting equipment on cows and waiting for an earthquake. I bet the buggers dont really sit down when its about to rain either!
I wonder if the same thing can be done with chavs in Birmingham, oh wait, its called electronic tagging
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:18 GMT
Cow #8 actually broke it's monitoring device from rolling on the ground and laughing after it heard about the research it was a part of.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:32 GMT
That the cows knew there was an earthquake coming but could tell it was a weak one so didn't bother reacting.
Cows are that cool.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:32 GMT
..the cows knew perfectly well that that particular quake was no threat to them so they ignored it.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:32 GMT
someone must have used the obligatory 'Did the earth mooooove?'
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:39 GMT
of a cow in vacuum?
Ig-Nobel award awaits these intrepid scientists
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:39 GMT
...can geese predict stock market crashes?
Mines the one with the research grant in the pocket.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:54 GMT
The cows got together and decided, "Hey, why should we let THEM know we can tell when these disasters are comming. Let them all die, and we will rule the world! MOOOOAHAHAHA!!"
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 16:54 GMT
... want us to think they know nothing, they can't give away their real mission...
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
Please tell me about grep and white dog poo?
Thanks!
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
... it sounds like a load of old bull.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
They probably fell down a crack in the research.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
"I bet the buggers dont really sit down when its about to rain either!"
Old wives' tale. <Waits for Sarah's comment that this phrase is feminazi>
Mine's the suede one lying on the floor.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
In the UK, scientists are trying to figure out how a flying cow could have destroyed a windturbine.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
The one called "checking whether animals 'kiss'". There's a blackboard showing various results including 'octopus - couldn't find lips', and in the foreground a there's a cow on hind legs slapping a pouting scientist.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
The researchers milked this for all it was worth, then hoofed it home when the good burg(h)ers of Skåne found the whole thing udderly ridiculous.
Mine's the black and white cowhide.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
This sort of research is just udderly ridiculous. I certainly hope the scientists involved have moooved onto greener pastures for research, as opposed to milking government money for this endeavor...
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
"and the eighth cow’s equipment malfunctioned, leaving researchers in the dark about its reaction to the quake" - that was the one running around going "OMG OMG we're all gonna die!"
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
The cows all lived through the earth quake, proving they selected safe places to be during the event.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
First assume a spherical cow ...
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 21:38 GMT
I have a friend who runs a dairy farm and I myself do numerous tests on his livestock.
Usually I run at them with some sort of weapon, but I think they just run away because I am running at them in a threating manner
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:38 GMT
If they're in the middle of a field with nothing harmful around them, why would they do anything? I could understand a cow in a barn wanting to get out in case the structure collapsed, but unless a cow was standing with two feet either side of the fault when it ruptured, I don't see how there would be anything they could do. No way could they outrun a mudslide or other side-effect capable of travelling that far..
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:38 GMT
for my ground-breaking Ursine Defecatory Behavioural Analysis Programme?
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:38 GMT
The illusion of reality, you know. Cows are on a higher transcendental plain. Or meadow.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:38 GMT
So while other researchers get grants to investigate the effect of alcohol on women, or cocaine on bees, these poor souls want to see what happens when you shake a cow. I can tell them that, from a safe distance.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:41 GMT
a Gary Larson cartoon coming..........
Penguin, 'cause there's no cow..........
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 22:41 GMT
the cows were too distracted to notice the earthquakes, because they were busily pondering the ramifications of their global warming flatulence... or lack thereof... as it's fricken COOLER on earth than it was last year! Gotta love scientists.
Posted Wednesday 14th January 2009 23:48 GMT
He's a wise old bugger y'know.
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 03:43 GMT
grep: no such file or directory
hmm...
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 03:43 GMT
Dang it, you made me google for it
http://www.tachyon-city.com/wp-content/farsidecowncar.gif
And it's not Friday yet.
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 10:53 GMT
"OK everyone - ready? On my mark - 3, 2, 1 EVERYBODY DOWN! HAHAHAHAH! Look at them! Running like buggery for the door! That one's pissed himself! OK, back up - and look innocent..."
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 10:53 GMT
Do cows festooned with monitoring kit behave differently in earthquakes to cows not so encumbered?
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 10:53 GMT
...of a cow in a vaccuum.
Don't be silly, everyone knows Cows can't drive vacuums, otherwise Dyson or one of the others would have 'em in an advertising campaign.
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 11:27 GMT
``The illusion of reality, you know. Cows are on a higher transcendental plain. Or meadow``
That's because they're all on grass.
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 13:53 GMT
"One cow actually sat down at the exact second that the earth began shaking"
Has anyone considered this: that the cat sitting down, actually CAUSED the earthquake?
I for one welcome our new bovine earthquake-causing overlords...
Posted Thursday 15th January 2009 13:53 GMT
They just stand in a field all day and get milked.
If I stood in a field waiting to get milked I'd get arrested.
Posted Friday 16th January 2009 10:11 GMT
I am sure they would detect an earthquake if a cowshed fell on them.
They stand in a field where nothing can fall on them. What do you expect them to do? Phone their friends on their moobile phones.(Sorry)
Posted Monday 19th January 2009 10:13 GMT
this means the cows won't detect me, either...