back to article UFO wind turbine prang site sealed

Security operatives backed by snarling dogs have sealed off the Conisholme wind farm in Lincolnshire, to prevent alien hunters making off with the remains of the UFO which earlier this month seriously damaged one of the turbines, the Sun reports. Ufologists are pretty well convinced there is an extraterrestrial explanation for …

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funny

but a (MOD) spokesman said: "That's so secret it's beyond above top secret, I'm afraid."

what a comedian!

cant blame hin in light of the nature of the allegation / enquiry

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Alien

Damn, I was wrong

And there I was thinking it was a lump of blue ice from an air-o-plane..

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Anonymous Coward

er...

If it was my wind farm, I wouldn't want a bunch of gullible/deranged/clinically insane/paranoid idiots running around on my private property trying to make off with "souvenirs" either.

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Alien

Well..

I for one welcome our new windmill-smashing overlords.

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Stop

What?

“If a stealth aircraft struck the turbine, it may be made of some material which is itself classified above top secret.”

Eh? Or, it might be made out of steel. Or carbon fibre. Or cheese. It may be shaped like a raspberry. Or it may have come from Mars. Or you might be speaking out of your arse. Idiot.

Occam's razor means nothing to these people. Is there an equivalent expression that assumes the most complicated, unlikely explanation for the simplest of mysteries? How about Occam's Gillette Mach3 Turbo Champion?

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Alien

Don't ya just love it?

The great advantage of conspiracy theorists is that it is impossible to prove them wrong. Just imagine the lawer's fees if a UFOlogist was injured or killed by a falling , broken turbine blade, as he sought to retrieve incontrovertible proof of our alien overlords. Of course site security has been beefed up. We must keep that evidence (of inadequate maintenance? ) from the public at all costs.

The sad thing is that it all distracts from serious conspiracies like the stitch up of alternative energy suppliers by the nuclear lobby....

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Playmobil

After reading the first paragraph I expected a playmobil depiction of the site. We know you have most of the necessary elements.

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Anonymous Coward

"an ultrasecret robot stealth aircraft project"...

...would actually be a "UFO" wouldn't it.

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Alien

3rd Rock Stupidity?

Technologically super advanced aliens traveled light years across the reaches of space to visit earth and... crash their ship into a wind turbine? Even the mention of ET's in this instance is absurd in the extreme.

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UFO's my ar*e

So one blade failing at the hub couldn't take out another as the windmill continued to rotate?

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Go

Experts=Shepherds?

"Security operatives backed by snarling dogs"

"German experts have indeed now moved in"

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Anonymous Coward

As predicted then

Start a UFO flap and see what happens.

As soon as there's a flap UFO "enthusiasts" will be all over it with their cameras and geiger counters. The people who own the alleged location of the UFO incident don't want a load of people running all over it so they increase security. The UFO crowd will then claim the increased security proves there is something to cover up.

Enquiries conclude that a perfectly normal incident is responsible (equipment failure, fireworks, civil air traffic, whatever). The UFO crowd state that this is proof that there is a cover up.

The MOD deny that anything unidentified showed up on radar at the time. The UFOlofists say that this means something IDENTIFIED showed up on radar and therefore the incident was caused by a top secret stealth vehicle.

MOD deny that any such vehicle exists. To a UFOlogist an outright denial is concrete proof.

Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes you to get bored with the convoluted (ahem!) logic of the UFOlogist.

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Black Helicopters

Challenge Churchill!

Dale Vince of Ecotricity, which operates the site, said last week: "We don't have an explanation at the moment as to what the cause was. We have been crawling all over it and have sent bits off for analysis to see if we can work out what caused it. Until we have some idea, some plausible explanation that it was not a UFO, I don't think we should rule it out."

Good luck trying to claim that one back on your insurance.

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ben
Alien

hmm

"That's so secret it's beyond above top secret, I'm afraid."

Surely that’s an admission that they in fact do have some secret alloy!!!

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Alert

Of course

It was a UFO.

It is unidentified

It was flying

It has to be an object.

Duh.

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Pirate

Bloody loonies.

It's incredible that these loonies can't see that the investigators simply want to avoid the evidence (ie shards of windmill) being stolen by loonies who then sell it on eBay as "alien composite material".

As the bleat about wanting to know "the truth", their little paranoid expeditions make it impossible for anyone else (like, maybe, someone with the appropriate qualifications and experience) to actually find out the actual truth.

Can't we medicate these people?

Pirate: cos they're thick as two short planks -- and they probably believe the "walk the plank" myth, too!

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Occam's razor

A simpler, but boring, explanation may be that one the blades sheared and hit the other one on the way down. I can't imagine that a race clever enough to have mastered interstellar travel would then have an accidental prang with a wind turbine...

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Black Helicopters

don't be...

so fucking stupid!

...a machine went faulty...

next story....

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Black Helicopters

ETs should go home!

Are you trying to tell me that it really wasn't a blade snapping off, hitting and thus bending a second blade and that they've restricted access to the site because there is a chance that the same could happen to a second turbine?

Dammit....

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Alien

Wasting time

They shouldn't waste time getting that thing fixed. Skip the investigation and get it back up and running. Ye gods and little fishes, we need them things running to keep our skies clear. So get 'er back up sweeping the heavens of those nasty little green men and their tall purple three twatted wormen or fembotys or whatever they call them.

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Alien

Seriously considering investing in Tin Foil Hat business.....

they're comming, they're comming!

Whilst it would be great to finally answer the question of life on other planets, but sadly i feel any race advanced enough to get here in the first place would be sufficiently equiped to deal with avoiding a windturbine!

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Paris Hilton

170ft

That big, that low, merely scraping a single rotor in a whole field of windmills?

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Black Helicopters

We all know what exactly

The tower was of course struck by a weather balloon! It's obvious, isn't it?

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Flame

The Old Foe

Personally I blame the Soviets.

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U.F.O.

"We don't have an explanation at the moment as to what the cause was. We have been crawling all over it and have sent bits off for analysis to see if we can work out what caused it."

So assuming it was indeed a flying object, then as they say it is yet to be identified. It is therefore a UFO, until such time as it is positively identified.

"Until we have some idea, some plausible explanation that it was not a UFO, I don't think we should rule it out."

In other words; "Until we don't not know what it is, we can't be sure that we won't not know what it is."

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Black Helicopters

Above Top Secret

Isn't that obvious? Its "do not allow civil servants to handle these documents, they are secret and we really mean it this time, no leaving it on trains or on computers at MP's home where the local plod can come and have a gander whenever they feel like it, its REALLY secret, although we will share the information with the yanks at some time so they can say 'hey, thats really cool, we'll steal that tech from you now' but other than that, no one is to know about it, not even me, or the PM but then he is a bit of a dick, so yeah, its super top secret and if I find any information about this project on youtube I'm going to cancel the xmas party this year"

Naturally its way too big to put on everything (Top Secret fits just right) so they just write down on it "Really Top Secret!!!!!" with lots of !!!!!!'s

Helicopter cause now they know that I know what they know about what I know about their secret secrets!

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Coat

If a real UFO *were* to crash....

......would we have to put up with interminable conspiracy theories that the crash was actually caused by plain old pilot error and not the destabilisation of the monomolecular matrix in the thrunging washers of the starboard photonic interrupt array at all?

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Happy

...classified above top secret

Would he be referring to super-duper top secret??

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Alien

of corse

"That's so secret it's beyond above top secret, I'm afraid."

of corse they would say that it is so secret that you needed to be rated top secret for them to tell you it exists

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Gates Halo

Ironman test flight?

R-tards, its obviously Bill Gates in an Iron Man suit...

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Black Helicopters

UFO != aliens

If an object is unidentified then it is a a UFO, if it turns out to be something that is identified then its not a UFO anymore.

Besides what would make any alien life want to come to this sh*t hole?

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Coat

an ultrasecret robot stealth aircraft project?

Lights in the sky?

if that's the MOD's idea of a stealth plane, I think they need to go back to the drawing board.

Mine's the one with the sleeve mysteriously ripped off.

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Boffin

None. None More Secret!

How much more secret could it be?

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Anonymous Coward

What's the religious fundamentalist position?

after all, if they're letting every Tom, Dick and Harry with half a brain cell to run around spouting bollocks, what's to say it wasn't the work of one of any number of gods, or even my main man Cthulu?

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Anonymous Coward

Protective Markings

Britain doesn't have any protective markings above secret - to the best of my knowledge.

There are caveats which afford higher level of protection, but I'm not aware of any 'main' marking higher than TS.

I believe in America it's different.

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Alien

lizard alliance?

I, for one, velcome our wind-turbine destroying overlords.

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Anonymous Coward

Aliens != UFO

If we know it's an alien spacecraft then we have identified it, so that wouldn't be a UFO either.

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Black Helicopters

Solved?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgrinder/2009/jan/08/windpower-thesun

Naah.. not really, but an illuminating read nonetheless..

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Anonymous Coward

UFOlogy, @AC

"MOD deny that any such vehicle exists. To a UFOlogist an outright denial is concrete proof."

Unlikely.

It's people like you making rediculous remarks like that, that give UFO investigators a bad name.

I would suggest you read Stanton T. Friedman's book PhD. who is a nuclear physicist who started off his career developing protective shielding for nuclear reactors to power space craft.

His methodical approach to proving/disproving, chasing every witness statement down, looking for corrobative evidence from a number of disparate sources, checking many archives across the USA is how an investigation should be done in order to determine the authenticity of documents.

Do I believe in UFOs? No. Well, not yet anyway. Do I believe the American airforce and other organisations are covering something up, witholding evidence? Yes. If you read Friedman's book about his personal dealings with various government agencies, that can be the only logical explanation.

Do I believe a UFO hit the wind turbine? No. My guess it's nothing other than a mechanical failure.

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Paris Hilton

For the love of God

Marsh gas.

Planet Venus.

Q E D

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UFD = Unidentified Flying Deity

The site is sealed because of the amount of pasta remnants strewn around. The offending turbine was smote by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for reasons that only He may know.

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Alien

Its obvious isn't it?

Swamp Gas! Has to be.

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Alien

@MattW

The problem with one blade rotating and hitting the failing one is that in the weather we have had since the new year the wretched things were not turning at all...

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Coat

@ Protective Markings

"Britain doesn't have any protective markings above secret - to the best of my knowledge."

Yes it does.

Mine''s the one with the Torchwood logo.

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Black Helicopters

@ AC spouting on about Friedman's book

"If you read Friedman's book about his personal dealings with various government agencies, that can be the only logical explanation."

If you read Harry Potter books then you may very well believe their is a secret school for for young wizzards teaching them the fine art of magic, doesnt mean its true though.

Any tin foil left over so I can make a hat too?

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Centre of the New Universe

Well I live in Lincolnshire, and I am so happy that our new but somewhat dodgy flyer UFO overlords have chosen our county to set up their death star base super central control hub city complex.

It will make such a change from potatoes and brocolli.

Wait ...

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Alien

@fLaMePr0oF

>> Technologically super advanced aliens traveled light years across the reaches of space to visit earth and... crash

Duh! Unless they were on auto-pilot back to the point they visited 2 billion years ago and were not expecting their bacteria to have evolved so far.

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FSM

brings new meaning to the phrase; "touched by his noodly appendage".

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Stop

link to genius story:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/ufos/article2120065.ece

bollocks to the economy, get a 'vicious' dog and guard a 'secret' field.....

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Alien

Yah Bollocks...

It was Aliens on a shopping trip, out to pick-up a bargain at Woolies closing down sale.

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