back to article Web 2.0rhea hack mistaken for end of universe

Kids these days. Used to be, when you were mad at your parents or your professors, you'd write an email worm in Visual Basic and spread it around via Outlook clients. Hacks like that didn't take a lot of talent, but they had some comic value. As a tech person, it's entertaining to watch someone who's not savvy work a machine …

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I was ok....

...until he said that SF airport and public transport were closed for two hours - then I laughed.

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Heart

I think I love you

that is all.

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Not all the kids fault.

Ah, fond memories. Jumpers for goalposts, balmy evenings wardialling, knocking out TSR code in 8086 assembly (complete with siren and "Hard Disk explosion imminent, abort" message) and disinfecting the school network in the inevitable detention.

Times have changed though - these days I'd be competing for control of the school computers with russian mobsters looking for credit cards, and assuming I was caught it's still a stern talking to and detention, followed by an FBI investigation, Interpol warrant and deportation to Gitmo.

Be gentle on the kiddies - the landscape has changed, the innocence has gone. But yeah, Bill O'Reallys was a wasted opportunity...

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gotta be done now !

Or maybe the evil geniuses will crack YouTube and, in a demonstration of original comedic thought, redirect every video to a copy of "Never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley.

Oh that would make me so LOL !!!!

I would be cracking up for days !!!

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Happy

SRSLY

Brilliant post. You hate script kiddies, don't you? Go on, admit it. I can tell anyway.

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Joke

I can't help but think..

Ted sounds like he could do with a good poo.

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Stop

not again!

el Reg, when will you stop printing this unmitigated drivel!!

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This post has been deleted by its author

Class

Ted's on fine form. Two Downs syndrome gags, a stab at Coldplay, and this gem:

"Fuck, the internet got lame. I've tried programming Ruby on Rails, following TechCrunch in my RSS reader, and drinking absinthe. It doesn't work. I'm going back to C, Hunter S. Thompson, and cheap whiskey."

If email signatures weren't so fucking lame I'd be using this for my one.

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"like making fun of a kid with Down syndrome"

"like making fun of a kid with Down syndrome: It's only funny the first couple of times"

In your efforts to make your column seem edgy (or whatever it is you're aiming for) you often come across as a juvenile wanker. The above quote is a new low.

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Stop

WEB 2.0RHEA. Damn right, and the article's author has it bad.

It's "Down's syndrome" btw. Next time you do any research, look further than Wikipedia. Taking the piss out of Down's syndrome kids isn't funny, ever. My brother, who has Down's syndrome, generally smacked other kids on the nose when they took the piss out of him, which made their nose bleed and then they started crying. Now, THAT was funny.

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The 21st Chromosome

What's with the Down Syndrome hatred? Or does it take someone with an IQ of less than 70 for you to be able to outwit them?

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Funny ?

As a pundit, though, I can tell you that making fun of Twitter's feeble attempt at engineering is like making fun of a kid with Down syndrome: It's only funny the first couple of times.

Since when was making fun of down syndome kids funny even once ?

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Stop

Shoot the author

People with Downs Syndrome are not, I'm afraid, a valid source of vindictive amusement for penile twerps like this author (who seems to embody all that is worst about the very group he is criticising).

This article is offensive and should be removed immediately.

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Anonymous Coward

(untitled)

"Hacking Twitter is like convincing a Down syndrome kid that Santa Claus exists: It's only funny if you can use it to get him dressed up as an elf."

I nominate quote of the month.

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Not funny and a bit offensive

The references to children with Down Syndrome as objects of fun mean that this article should be removed.

Yes I have got a very good sense of humour, but this is just offensive without being funny.

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Nice!

A "Fail and You" that's actually got decent sarcasm instead of potty-mouthed swearwords. Good job!

P.S. Following the advice given by a Reg hack on the comments thread of one of the first FaYs, I have been habitually ignoring FaYs and only read this one by accident, so perchance some others have been good too...

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Twitter and UK Media

The papers over here have started using famous people's twitter posts to quote the m on various stories if only the hacker had thought about it more - he could have got egg on a load of newspapers faces.

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Anonymous Coward

aahhh classic

quite a nice read, thanks ted

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@not again!

Maybe when you stop reading it? (Comments also drive up click stats, so you should give that a miss as well)

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@Arun Marsh.

Too true, too true. I read that as the point of the whole article though. These arsehats were given the keys to the kingdom*, they could have done anything, but they used 'em to open the fridge and take some free cans of coke.

*Ok. A very small kingdom populated entirely by sad gits with no life, but the analogy's sound.

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Down's Syndrome

The man from Anonymous, he say, "Down's Syndrome jokes are funny." Keep up the good work!

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Good, but not good enough

Nice to see less pointless swearing today. But the Down's bit was too far. Live and learn, eh Ted?

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Ted Dziuba...

...is a retard.

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Wot no subs?

Clearly taking her own advice (from comments some time ago) not to read FaY articles so as to avoid offence, El Reg's erstwhile sub-editor Sarah Bee seems to have missed out on correcting Ted's use of Down Syndrome to Down's Syndrome.

Rubbish.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Wot no subs?

God. I only have two hands, you know. Also, two middle fingers. Inadequate all round, I find.

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Funnny enough

And the comments by the Politically Correct 'tards made it even funnier.

Ted, you should know that jokes may only mention white middle-aged males of christian culture and average fitness and health. Unless you are from another social group. Fat black chicks with a cancer might, in addition, do jokes about fat or black or female people (or any combination. Possibly even about cancer) for example. Ted, live and learn -or pretend you have Down syndrome. All will be OK then.

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You just don't get it do you

For all the commenters taking issue with the Down's Syndrome gags, go back and re-read them. We all know that making fun out of Down's Syndrome kids is bang out of order, of course it didn't stop most people doing it when they were 8 did it? The point is, by likening hacking Twitter to making fun of Down's Syndrome, you just see how lame and purile the Twitter hackers are.

Go back and read it, then read a definition of sarcasm, then read Ted's article again.

Great article Ted!

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re comments

Given the general tone of comments, perhaps we should rename it 'Fail and Me'.

← heart for Sarah, who always makes my day.

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@Down's syndrome whiners

Oh hush up. If an obviously tongue-in-cheek joke about some Down's kids is the limit of your sense of humour, you need a new one. I've heard far worse on an almost daily basis, and laughed at most of it.

This comment cheered me up at the end of my day, and if you're too bloody sensitive to deal with it, sod off somewhere else.

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Linux

Frank Zappa?

Oi! What's Frank Zappa got to do with Hacking?

I'll thank you never EVER to take Frank's name in vain. Or in Vein . . . or in vane . . . wtf ever.

Penguin, because Frank had an amusing song about one. I doubt you'll find it in the U.K. though, as that kind of activity is now classified as extreme porn.

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Coat

Humor is like testes..

Some have it, some don't.. In its original form, this tirade was pure genius.

Mine's the one stolen from the Down Syndrome kid.

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I'M OFFENDED BY THE APOLOGY

Truly I am.

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Dead Vulture

delicious

While publishing an article on the general pussification you then withdraw a couple of gags about mong kids. The Reg has turned pussy!

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Unhappy

The Human Race is Doomed

" These arsehats were given the keys to the kingdom*, ..... *Ok. A very small kingdom populated entirely by sad gits with no life, but the analogy's sound."

What, you mean they hacked that other mind wrenchingly pointless institution..... Second (Lack of) Life?

Are we seriously living in a world where an unfunny, sad, pointless little hack shutdown SFO and had the entirety of Silicon Valley weeping into their Collective Paradigms?

Fuck, we're doomed, we are so fucking doomed.

PS I'm with Sarah on the "insufficent middle fingers" thing

PPS Still, the article made me smile for the first time today.

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... two references to Down's Syndrome that were in poor taste.

No they weren't. They were actually quite funny *and* not the least offensive. I would say that they were in *very* good taste actually, which is difficult to do in such situations. The article is *massively* less amusing without them. The fucktards who felt offended should remember that there is quite a difference between _mentionning_ a disability -even in a tongue-in-cheek context- and being offensive. PC terrorists:1 ; El Reg: 0.

A great Frenchman once said "English humor is bitterly highlighting the world's hopeless absurdity. French humor is making fun of my mother-in-law" *, but when I read some comments here -and the apology-, I feel like English humor is actually about not being too bitter or saying anything about our absurd world. I could be about making fun of my mother-in-law. Except that I can't even mention her if I am male because it would be sexist. Also I can't mention her in a joke if she is fat or black or jew or muslim or disabled or old or dead or red-haired or blond or pregnant or sick or foreign or whatever I am not. English humor is about not being very humorous nowadays it would seem. Even self-irony is disregarded because the PC brigade fucktards are so filled of self-importance that they can't imagine that someone might not be. You can bet the Monty Python are silently weeping in their, hem, graves. I say, we -> orbit ; nuke -> site.

*forgive the home-made translation

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Love it

I loved this one.

Although I read it after the down's syndrome jokes were removed. Go figure.

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You removed the jokes?

Aw come on, guys. Don't give in to these miserable humourless fucknuts. Post a link to Sickipedia and replace the Paris icon with a goatse!

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Unfair

Why is it that it's acceptable to take the piss out of an average male/female etc. but as soon as you start taking the piss out of the disabled it makes too many people see red? Those people are usually fucking hypocrits, they're the kind of people who try to see disabled people as equals and want everyone else to see them as equals - well doesn't having the piss taken out of disabled people put them on an equal footing with able bodied people?

As someone with Aspergers Syndrome I'd just like to say: where are all the Autism jokes? Bring em on!

Meh, screw you guys, I'm off to re-watch episodes of The Big Bang theory because I understand /all/ the jokes.

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Ian
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A title is required.

"While publishing an article on the general pussification you then withdraw a couple of gags about mong kids. The Reg has turned pussy!"

Amen to that. Thankfully, the commentards quoted the original text and I still managed to appreciate the jokes.

Good work, Ted.

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PC Idiots

Well, unfortunately the PC nobheads get their first, get 'offended' by something that really isn't anything to do with them, and spoil it for everyone else, but personally I just think they are sad attention seekers best ignored.

They should look at their own sad lives before criticising other people, because of numpties like this you cannot say anything in a humorous way these days without it 'offending' someone. Fucks sake.

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(Written by Reg staff)

good grief

Er, guys, I hate to point this out to you but tasteless as those bits may have been, they were *satirical* ie it was taking the piss out of *the idea* of taking the piss out of disabled people. Neither their original existence nor their removal is some kind of clarion call to everyone to start going "ha ha spackers" in the name of free speech and anti-hypocrisy, as far as I'm concerned.

Eeeesh.

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(Written by Reg staff)

also

I'm nixing you if you're going to really scream and swear about this issue because, well, one set of people were upset yesterday and now it's your turn, but after both sides have Had Their Say I'm not going to go on letting the screamy-sweary pile up because it's giving me a headache. And if you think about it for a second there's no way we could have pleased everybody. If you're still unhappy, email the author.

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thanks

for allowing the original Down's syndrome jokes to appear in the comments, i would never have seen 'em otherwise.

why are they in less poor taste being in the quotes than the actual text of the article? or is it that you can Chastise Ted but not the readers?(ted like being chastised methinks)

one of the better articles and removing the two refernces didn't harm it at all. the apology just made me read the comments to find out what was said that was so offensive..

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Happy

@ Sarah Bee "nixing"

Ouch!

In hope of more middle finger action - it really should be 'offence' (unless we have our US English spell checker swithed on, of course).

Keep smiling!

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PC people just dont get it

I have a friend who is very, very camp and gay. He has heard all the gay jokes. Said in good humour, by people who are accepted as mates, they are funny to him too.

So we are out with him (bear in mind our circle friends including him go back to when we were 5 years old, and we are now in our 30's) and there is some new girlie along with the group.

Someone makes a joke, the same ones we have done for years (don't worry he gives as good as he gets, remarks like "you wish dearie" are sometimes enough), and this girl suddenly jumps on the PC moral high ground and starts having a go.

Suffice to say, our mate first points out that he is not a pussy, is insulted that she thought he could not stand up for himself, that she has no business having a go at people who have been friends for 25 years, and really should stop being such an annoying whiny bitch. Yes - it was a very pissed off reaction - he was very, very offended by her assumption that he was somehow the underdog, and that he needed defending.

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Joe
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you got anything else to say?

Here is a summary of your literary efforts so far - Web 2.0 is pointless- I'm jealous of Google - Tech bloggers don't know jack-shit - Valley people are liberals - Programmers working on new programs/languages aren't rocket scientists. And thanks for telling us .. we didn't know all this until you put your mighty pen to work and it was funny the way you described them the first time around. So, you got anything else to say?

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Actually

I think both sides of the disabled party have been satisfied, by removing the references one side is happy, by quoting them in the comments, the other side can still appreciate them.

In future when editing an original post, quoting it in full in the comments section is a valid tactic. Personally I fail to be offended, me.

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Re: PC people just don't get it

@AC

" I have a friend who is very, very camp and gay. He has heard all the gay jokes. Said in good humour, by people who are accepted as mates, they are funny to him too.

>snip snip<

Someone makes a joke, the same ones we have done for years (don't worry he gives as good as he gets, remarks like "you wish dearie" are sometimes enough), and this girl suddenly jumps on the PC moral high ground and starts having a go.

>snippety snip<

he was very, very offended by her assumption that he was somehow the underdog, and that he needed defending. "

No-one has ever suggested that gay people should be classed as "vulnerable adults". Down's Syndrome sufferers are vulnerable as kids and adults -- they are vulnerable all their lives.

For this, we look after them; as a society, as families, as individuals; because they can't look after themselves. Your pal *could* look after himself -- the offense was suggesting he couldn't, but this is in no way an offense when it comes to Down's sufferers.

Gay jokes and jokes about Down's Syndrome are completely incomparable.

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Boffin

@ Joe

As funny as parts of Ted's articles can be, you have very succinctly summarized all of them. So do what the rest of us do and take it all with a huge grain of salt in an effort to find the chuckles along the way. Cos expecting a new or different effort from any FaY article is an exercise in futility.

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