from the newspaper article
"His method of entry is to smash through walls and squeeze through tight holes."
Do we need that much detail?
Perv Oz burglar pumps and dumps Jungle Jane
Cairns police are hunting a light-fingered pervert who has twice broken into a sex shop and taken inflatable dolls for a quick shag out the back before abandoning his conquests in a nearby lane, the Cairns Post reports. The owner of Laneway Adult Shop, who identified himself only as "Vogue", explained that in the first recent …
This topic is closed for new posts.
If only...
...they had a DNA database! This disgusting (and probably dangerous) pervert could have been looked up and locked up within a few hours; thus making the whole community safer.
Fnarr
From the linked article:
> His method of entry is to smash through walls and squeeze through tight holes.
The Cairns Post and El Reg were clearly separated at birth.
He didn't even have the decency to buy her dinner first!
They have already had the preliminary results back from the DNA test and can categorically state that he is Australian. The doll is staying tight-lipped about the whole incident.
Paris has got a number of samples about her person.
Quick rinse?
Surely a quick spritz with Flash cleaner means these can be resold to recoup losses? No-one need know of their sordid history. Sluts.
TFA.
The second photograph in the article really should have been captioned "A hole was smashed through the wall of the bar. Police are looking into it".
"It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street"
"When they could have come (don't snigger at the back) in the front door and paid for their pr0n like all the oh so normal people we usually get..."
Need check boxes on the icons - want Paris and IT? Sod it, Paris does it for me (snigger)
Forwarded...
... to my Australian brother & sister-in-law!
Hilarious!
Superman?
He smashed through a wall?
No mention of a van or power tools, so can we assume either he's superman or the sex shop was erected (snigger) by The First Two Little Pigs Building Merchants Pty.?
Cairns Post
"Sex shop sicko"
And
Isn't it a bit weird a sex shop owner who sell inflatable dolls calling a person who USES one of his doll a 'perv'?
@ AC 12:38
"If only...they had a DNA database! This disgusting (and probably dangerous) pervert could have been looked up and locked up within a few hours; thus making the whole community safer."
shutup shutup shutup shutup!!!!!
(Unless you want a job as Wacky Jackie's policy advisor)
on the face?
Fingerprints only on the face? What manner of kama sutric jolly is this man partaking in?
And @AC 12:38 - I think you meant to visit www.dailymail.co.uk, or BBC news HYS
Mines the one with a bicycle pump in the pocket.
Security measures
Looking at the photos, I can't help but think that the security of antipodean sex-shops could be improved if we let them in on the secret of 'bricks'. Surely it's the natural environment for something harder?
At least
this guy is only raping blow up dolls, and not taking his 'frustrations' out on real people
STDs
So, fill the appropriate part of a doll with ground glass, and stake out the hospitals...
Re: Cairns Post
>Isn't it a bit weird a sex shop owner who sell inflatable dolls calling a person who USES one of his doll a 'perv'?
Context is everything, AC.
Bizarre? Not really
Many, many years ago, I worked on a Saturday for a large supermarket - this was before they sold condoms, and the manager was too embarrassed to go down the road and buy them himself. He used to get me (aged 15) to buy them for him!
I used to go down the local chemists once a month and there would always be a female member of staff serving. Did that stop me - not on your life. And I always made the request in a loud voice to make sure everyone could hear me and with a big grin on my face - I'm sure that they thought me a total sex maniac (or more probably just a pervert).
Perhaps the thief is just too embarrassed to buy his blow up doll?
Fetish
Why did he need five (presumably identical) dolls? Don't tell me he's only interested in virgins...
silly question
but if a woman shoplifted a vibrator, would she be considered a disgusting pervert?
why are there such different views of male and female sex aids.
Jungle Jane...
... will doubtless be making a cameo appearance in a forthcoming Playmobil reconstruction.
Definition of 'perv'
A pervert is, imo, someone who does something unwanted, rather than someone who does something you personally don't enjoy, with someone else..
In other words, it should be your choice what happens to you, but don't force your morality on others.
@Dav3
And if he gets caught he can release his pent-up sexual energy and frustration all over the innards of teenage inmates- a judge (in another El Reg article) said so!
Saying that, if you don't have the balls to buy one you probably don't have the balls to use one properly.
"has a rear entry in the same lane as the adult shop"
Two holes in one....ah, but if he was only a golfer and had that kind of control over his balls.
I suppose she cowgirled him in the alley as she didn't want to get dirty. snurk
Pardon?
"It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”
I beg your pardon, WHAT?! Yes, sure, it's a pity there is someone going about shoplifting and littering, but I would much, MUCH rather have some guy enjoying a stolen doll in the alley every single day of the week than that have the same guy rape a single random passerby.
Of course, to make a point, if you use a doll you did not pay for you are as much a disgrace to society as are folks who dare to gain enjoyment from pirated media. You all deserve to be shot.
Another look at Jungle Jane
http://www.bigskyballoons.com/images/Balloons/Jungle_jane.jpg
He's got taste.
@Definition of 'perv'
A "pervert" is someone who engages in a sexual practice that you wouldn't engage in and one that you don't think anyone else should engage in either...
... according to the Daily Mail.
Re: if only...
@Anonymous Coward Posted Wednesday 7th January 2009 12:38 GMT
...they had a DNA database! This disgusting (and probably dangerous) pervert could have been looked up and locked up within a few hours; thus making the whole community safer.
Speaking as someone who worked on the paperwork-tracking section of the Queensland DNA system (and this happened in QLD): we have one.
HOWEVER, unlike the UK version, your DNA profile only remain in the database if (A) you (or your legal guardian) signed paperwork stating the cops could keep the info; or (B) you are convicted of the crime. Same rules apply for fingerprints (which I also coded).
If you do not fit either scenario, your DNA profile/Fingerprint image *HAS* to be deleted by law. Curiously enough, the fact you were DNAd/Fingerprinted (ie, the paperwork and its electronic equivalents) and the "destruction order" paperwork can be kept. <shrug> go figure. Probably having to do with being able to show due care and diligence in case Parliament sticks its nose in a "high-profile" case.
Actually...
He could possibly get done for rape. Since it has now been established in Australian law that cartoon characters constitute "real" people (as a result of which a man has been convicted of possession of child pornography for having pictures of the Simpsons kids doing naughty things), it could now be argued in court that Jungle Jane is also a "real" person with the same rights and protections as Bart and Lisa Simpson.
Mind you, if he did get done for rape on these grounds, that then begs the question of consent; maybe we could also run in the sex shop owner for sex slavery, since the sale of the dolls for sexual purposes without their consent would certainly constitute that offence. And such lunacy would certainly be in good keeping with the mentality of the Australian government of late. Seems we're in a race to the bottom against you guys in the UK, and right now we're winning! :)
Re: Fnarr
>The Cairns Post and El Reg were clearly separated at birth.
"vinyl vixens", "police are on his tail", "I have had a gutful."
The similarity in style and double entendres is indeed uncanny.
smashed through a wall
oh come on! have you seen those pictures? I'd hardly call 2 bits of MDF a wall, Jesus my 5 year old son could break his way through that
This topic is closed for new posts.
Popular Whitepapers
- The BI Inflexion Point
Information is a right, not a privilege - Risk and Resilience
The application availability gamble - Register Research on: Agile development - is it right for you
Reaping the benefits of modern software practice - The Register Guide to managing spam
A primer on the implications for enterprise IT - The Register Guide to email security
A primer on the challenges of securing email and approaches to resolving them - High Performance for All
Responding to the needs of compute-intensive workloads
