This explains everything

No wonder Doctors never seem to hear what I'm saying!

Paris, because..........

"PHWAR!"

My Handicap Is My Clubs

Looks like a great way when on a work outing to get some time off for injuries caused by this device. I bet I can get my doctor on the NHS to write me a note, no worries ;-)

BADA BOOM

TIGER WOODS GOING DOWN

Balloons and whips

Balloons (when popped) and the tip of a whip being cracked also make "sonic booms".

Lets ban them too!

Hmm, just noticed - putting 'ballons' and 'whips' into this comment is likely to mislead some Google searches....

Paris, because we all love to whip her balloons.

New cluebat

woo hoo I can finally toss away the 4x2 plank and upgrade. Swinging these new clubs at the lusers will certainly give the added effect I have been looking for

Mufflers

There is no limit to what can be done with the clubs themselves to limit the damage. The frequency could be changed as could the period of the stick -which could also incorporate the Helmholtz principle for creating anti-noise. Or just incorporate a sandwich of less transmittable material.

I await developments with baited..

..no I don't.

I couldn't give a toss. (What is the stickie part of a club called?)

So?

Where's the problem?

Why right ear? is his stance and swing wrong?

Seeing as you should look directly at the ball when hitting it, should he not have suffered the hearing loss in both ears?

Seems the doctors know more about bullpoo than golf!

Is golf club engineering enough of an IT angle?

Health warning: reading newspapers can be dangerous

Oh dear.

This article appeared in the Christmas edition of the BMJ, along with other seasonal fayre, such as the usage of Coca-Cola vaginal douches for birth control, and a systematic review of the efficacy of Frankincense.

I'm afraid that it's not a "provocative (albeit suspiciously anecdotal) study". It runs to 1.5 pages, and describes the findings of tinnitus in one patient, which it appeared may have been linked to his golfing. The term "sonic boom" appears once, and is a quote from another golfer, found on the internet. Oddly, the rags decided to use the term "sonic boom" rather than "unusual clanking sound", another quote from the Internet. The authors then got a pro to hit a total of 36 shots on 12 different drivers, and measured the sound produced. They conclude by saying "The study presents anecdotal evidence that caution should be exercised by golfers who play regularly with thin faced titanium drivers to avoid damage to their hearing". End of story.

Except, of course, that it seems to have been reported by various newspapers, including the Daily Mail. "NHS Choices" (what on earth is that?!) also reads the Daily Mail, and saw fit to comment on the Mail's story. The comment is as long as the article and is, to be frank, bollox. It talks about "low level evidence", and says "There was no statistical comparison between the noise generated when using steel drivers compared to titanium ones". There were *3* measurements for each of the 12 drivers, with all 3 shown by pretty pictures of golf balls on a graph - what sort of statistical analysis, exactly, is NHS Choices suggesting should have been carried out?

The real story here is that you shouldn't believe what you read in the papers, and someone at NHS Choices is spending taxpayer's money to write 1014 words where 20 would have done the job better. What a surprise.

Please think of the little children!

I expect an immediate ban for this dangerous and anti-social sport. The sonic booms clearly have a link with terrorism in much the same way as a photographer with a tripod does, and there's always the suspicion that because golfers act so innocent, they must really be especially guilty.

Half a dozen highly motivated terror-golfers armed with these vicious titanium death sticks could easily cause carnage in a crowded shopping centre or nursery school And those gin and tonics they're so fond of; clearly some kind of clever binary liquid explosive!

They want to destroy our way of life by covering the countryside with their courses, and those bags look just like portable mortars on wheels. Some of them are quite old and I'm sure they own cameras, so they're clearly paedophile terrorist golfers bent on undermining democracy and the british sense of fair play.

Anyway, everyone knows that green is an Islamic colour, so the fact they play on particularly green grass must mean they have sympathy with Hamas, Hizbollah, Mahmud of Ghazni, the Nation of Islam and that bloke who hangs around speakers corner on Sunday shouting "God is Great". It follows they must be anti-semitic too.

So won't someone please, PLEASE think of the children (or at least the ones whose parents aren't terrorist golfing Bin Ladenite anti-Jewish kiddy fiddlers) and save our great democracy from these Satanic death stick wielders?

Paris, cos I bet she doesn't play golf.

Noise annoys

Can the sound these clubs make when teeing off be any worse than some golftard shouting "GET IN THE HOLE!!!!!" half a second later?

This story reminds me...

...I need to buy new ear plugs. 35+db of attenuation? That'll do nicely.

As for golf - a perfect way to ruin a good walk and destroy vast swathes of countryside too, just to the rich middle-class toss-pots can strut about in naff plaid trousers. Urgh.

The other dangers of golfing are golfers elbow (which can be pretty nasty), ball/head interface trauma and stress from having to arrive in last year's BMW!

Also...

if there are any electric transmission lines around, golfers should remember wear their tin foil caps to prevent brain damage.

Repeated exposure

"Of course — how "repeated" the exposure of a driver hitting a ball in a game of golf is certainly questionable."

Whereas at a driving range, it's going to happen a bit more often, isn't it?

pardon ? what ? did someone say something ?

(okay it doesn't quite work with text !)

imagine the pain

Yes, I can imagine the sonic boom and the pain of being hit in the ear with one of these. Erm, maybe I didn't read all that. Never mind.