You just don't know where you are these days!

Paris, because she doesn't know her arse from her elbow.

Anything for a change in the boring weather (forecast).

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

The BBC TV warned us of zero-degree temperatures yesterday at the same time as they reported minus ten in Aviemore.

Today they warned us it would go down (yes, 'down') to +4, at the same time as I was starting my car at -10 here in Dingwall. By lunch-time it had risen up to the banana-growing heights of -5 before cooling down for the evening. Who knows what we'll have tomorrow? Why not sand-storms, we've had 'em before.

What is this *minus* you speak of and why does it cause sand storms?

Chuck Norris were here he would know what to do!

According to the weather station at the University of York (http://www.amp.york.ac.uk/external/weather/current1.html) it's currently -999C outside, with an atmospheric pressure of 1032mb. Granted, their mast is on top of the Physics building (itself pretty tall) so at ground level it's probably a tad chillier.

What I *do* know, however, is that -999C or not, it's bloody nithering out there!

Flames, 'cos it's cold, dammit!