back to article German beaver escapes from Dartmoor

A German beaver being held prisoner behind an electric fence on Dartmoor has escaped, according to reports. The furry trunk-muncher is now carving a swathe of destruction through Cornwall, mowing down mighty trees like corn to satisfy its animal lusts. The Guardian reports that the bucktoothed Boche bole-botherer busted out of …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Mmmmm.... beaver

    "there was beaver as far as the eye could see here in old Blighty, but they were eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors."

    I too love to munch on a good beaver from time to time.

    hyuk hyuk hyuk

    - ph cos i'd like to....

  2. Bad Beaver
    Heart

    What can I say but

    RUN BROTHER, RUN!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Gratuitous "Beaver" Shot

    And you missed a golden opportunity to post a picture of "German Beaver", I found loads on a Google search...........

    Mines the one with "NIce Beaver" on the back

  4. Andy Barber
    Thumb Up

    Yum yum

    "It seems that once upon a time there was beaver as far as the eye could see here in old Blighty, but they were eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors."

    I hope they breed well, as I want to try a Beaver Burger!

  5. HFoster

    Patience...

    I'm waiting for the vagina innuendo to come pouring in from the readers.

  6. Peter Fielden-Weston
    Paris Hilton

    That's it...

    Gonna get down to Cornwall and get me some beaver.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Ideal beaver country?

    "It's ideal beaver country he's found himself in". Cornwall surely not!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Furry Trunk Muncher

    And "furry trunk-muncher" is a euphamism for...???

    Paris -- Beaver -- Need I say more?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Beavers are edible?

    Then again... *grin*

  10. Rob
    Coat

    Sorry gotta do it, if it hasn't been done already

    "...but they were eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors."

    And I still love munching on beaver :D

    (Mine's the one with Joke Alert written on it)

  11. Dave Harris
    Thumb Up

    Excellent subtitle

    It could only be Lewis

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    and I quote...

    "According to Derek Gow, beaver expert...". Fantastic, I wish my job title was that good.

    On another note, do you think he is an expert solely on German beaver? I would like to think myself something of an expert on the English tufted beaver, with an occasional glimpse of the lesser spotted Brazilian smooth beaver.

    Paris because she has also been associated with other beaver related news.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Any alliteration allowed?

    I know badger baiting, and bear baiting are illegal, but what about bucktoothed boche bi-mated beaver baiting? (By the way, was it from Bavaria too?)

    I need not bother with the Paris allusions...

  14. Julian Bond
    Paris Hilton

    Because

    Oh, you work it out.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nice beaver

    >eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors

    What are we talking about here, and could it fall foul of the new extreme porn legislatin?

  16. rhidian

    ahh you can see the next stories title...

    "Cornwall invaded by beaver bother'ers"

    "Cornwall's beaver threatened by badger"

    "Botched up beaver escaping escapades" >.<

    etc etc ...

    There should be a competition ...

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    I for one...

    ... wish to welcome our German spy Beavers.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Right thats it

    That's it...

    By Peter Fielden-Weston Posted Tuesday 30th December 2008 16:16 GMT

    Gonna get down to Cornwall and get me some beaver.

    Ohhhh no your not

    I've closed the A30 and the A39 so your effectively screwed!!

    The Beaver is heading towards my cottage and my wife is away until New Year. WoooHooo

    OOOOPS I meant BoooHooo ;)

    Bring it on Beaver, haven't seen a German one around my farm in ages 8)

    Do they shave under the armpits?

    If not I'll have a bath run with the shaving foam and a razor ready.

    Can't wait

    WoooHooo

  19. J
    Linux

    satisfy its animal lusts

    Good one.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    RE: Right thats it

    Do not accept a BJ from this German beaver.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    So I'm guessing

    That my wood is safe for now?

  22. Angus
    Thumb Up

    lol

    "The furry trunk-muncher"

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Toll!, ich mag mushie ;p

    Paris, as she is raziert blondin :)

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Oh - Be ave(r)

    Tsk Tsk.

    All you naughty peoples, this is NOT the Carry On fan site!

  25. Astarte

    Cheese

    Will this affect the price of Bavarian Beaver Cheese?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    May I

    May I be the first to welcome our new forest chrunching hairy semi aquatic uberlords.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Mr.

    TIMBER!!!!

    (Where's the beaver icon?)

  28. Mat Moore
    Thumb Up

    Late contender...

    ... for sub-header/title of the year? :-)

  29. John Angelico
    Joke

    Bother!

    An alpha beaver? Bravo, Charlie!

  30. Grant
    Heart

    skinned not eaten

    "It seems that once upon a time there was beaver as far as the eye could see here in old Blighty, but they were eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors."

    Our ancestors had different habits, beavers in Briton were driven to extinction by being skinned used to keep one warm. Whereas over in Canada we stil have many wild beaver and given the chance use them to keep us warm, Although many Brits have protests over this, I too would protest if I lived in a country with only few beaver and those keep in zoos where you are only allowed to look but not touch.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    a recession is coming ...

    ... so it is great that we are informed where edible beavers will be living soon.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    very funny@John Angelico

    Bother! An alpha beaver? Bravo, Charlie!

    So does that make you a beaver botherer?

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