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back to article Profs: Eating Belgian truffles will make you buy a Mac

In a development whose majorness would be hard to overemphasise, research by topflight eggheads has revealed that eating just one Belgian truffle could turn you into a Mac fanboy, or indeed girl. The news comes to us from the periodical read by all corporate spammers who are serious about their profession, The Journal of …

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Linux

Penguins

The Linux folk would probably go for Muesli. Grinning through the pain, believing deep-down that it's better for them in the long run. =)

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Coat

so, what does this mean for our morning toast

suse users prefer having already smeared bread with a variety of jams. New kinds of jam get introduced if a large customer pays for them, eaters have to pay for some of those really special kinds of jam.

RH folks would get the bread and add their own jam (from the list of supported jams). If they dont like the offered jam, they can lose support and get jam from a variety of sources. Some new types of jam are released at fixed intervals throughout the year.

debian people get to choose between all brands of jam, they can even get their hands on stuff no normal person would eat (ie. marmite). If they want to they may bake their own toast/make their own jam. the list of available jams is updated regularly.

gentoo folks on the other hand have to make their own toast (whilst choosing from all the ingredients that world+dog offers). Naturally they also make their own jam. Recipes get updated all the time (thrice daily). gentoo users may choose to mix marmite and vegemite!

im not going into the specs of some obscure jam/toast combination from a largish us corps.

my coat is the one with a sandwich from wood stove baked bread and peanutbutter from the peanuts in my garden and jelly (lovingly) made by the girl next door.

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Linux

I wonder...

I wonder if eating cotton balls soaked in orange juice provides top models with a penchant for virtualised environments run through a hardware emulator? Hmm...

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Jobs Horns

Eating Apple's BS

Have been a Mac owner now for about 5 years and found not 1 single reason to buy another. The initial cost is higher and upgrading is extortionate. OS X has nothing over XP no matter how many lame twats go on about the "feel" and "intuitiveness".

They crash, lock-up, the hardware fails and the OS gets system errors just like Windows. Don't waste the extra money.

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Tom

Interesting

I wonder if we can get them to do it again, only ask for volunteers for both parties, then select a random number out of each group (eaters and non) of equal proportions, then re-run the test. This would provide much better results as you wouldn't have the closet truffle lovers burning with resent, also would alow you to draw paralels with people predisposition to treating one self and abstenance.

And what was the point in asking them to decline a truffle? wouldn't just giving one half a chocolate suffice?

Infact, the more I think about this, the more it makes me angry at just how pointless and flawed this study was

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Joke

AmigaOS

Where does AmigaOS stand in the culinary department? Black salsify (only a handful of people really like it)?

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Jobs Halo

I use a Mac Pro...

... and favour Hotel Chocolat choccies. Though I did sit down and eat half a tube of Pringles and a near full bag of Maltesers the other day...

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Happy

Excellent news !

This can only lead to... free sweeties at the shops :o9

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Joke

@Peter

Amiga owners would be vegetarian, claiming the digestive efficiencies of avoiding unnecessary meat. Sadly as a result they'd also be a bit blinkered and miss out on the required levels of protein, leading to quaint but deluded ramblings and a constant sense of nostalgia for better times.

[Which would include me. I miss my 'meega]

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Solaris Users

Buy only hand-made chocolates from Fortnum & Mason's, each individually wrapped and costing a fortune & maintain that these are the only confection worthy of the name

However they (almost) all scoff doughnuts by the bag-full too as they have a Windows XP system for when they want to get anything actually *done*.

Mine's the one with the 'I love Oracle' pin-badge and the dog-eared MSFT SQL Server syntax manual in the pocket .

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Silver badge

Coincidences

I remember the one that went- "The more phones you have, the more likely you are to die of heart disease". This was the days of hard-wired phones and it was all down to one graph (number of phones in house/money) overlayed on another (heart disease/ wealth). The curves seeemed to match and the usual newspapers proudly stated that the more phones you have, the more likley you were to pop your clogs of heart disease. Apparently the real culprit was beef. The more dosh you had, the more you fed on beef and the more your arteries clogged up. Also the more dosh you had, the more hard-wired phones you could afford.

The more dosh you have the more likely you are to splash out on Belgian truffles, the more dosh you have the more likely you are to be able to afford Appletard devices.

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Flame

Homemade meringues != Linux

Sorry to wreck the theory, but my other half makes amazingly good meringues, and she uses Mac OS for her personal machines and Windows Server for most of her consulting work. I, on the other hand, cook Sichuanese and Middle Eastern and use FreeBSD.

Icon in recognition of the vast numbers of chillis in Sichuan cooking.

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Thumb Up

@AC 11:14 re......morning toast

That was great, thank you. For the first time I feel that I now understand the differences between the various distributions of Linux.

Can you do this sort of simile based explanation for other subjects? (It doesn't have to involve toast of course, I and many others just need something we have long term everyday experience of). If you can make a start with netbooks(laptots) that really would be useful. Hoping to hear more from you....

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Gold badge
Joke

Windows users.

Not doughnuts, oh no. Only the finest Foskett's candied mouse droppings* for them.

*Ok, name *that* reference.......

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Re: Coincidences

"Apparently the real culprit was beef."

Which fact became apparent when they overlaid a chart of beef consumption / wealth.

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm

Given that the study was in the US who can't make chocolate for toffee (get it!), what do you expect?

Here in Belgium, Belgian chocolates are not considered a luxury!

As for the guy who reckons he's been a Mac use for five years and prefers XP, I'd have to say you seem to be on your own. From the people I know, inside and outside IT, those who've got Macs love them.

PS. I don't own a Mac and have only used one for five minutes, once!

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Go

Monty's ftw

I prefer the stranger chocos at Montezumas, bad craziness such as 3 peppercorn milk chocolate, orange and geranium chocs and chocolate with chili flakes in it.

Perhaps appropriately I use Vista.

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Gates Horns

'crunchy frog' anyone?

"We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest-quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose." And then we install Vista on your PC.

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Happy

RE: Frank

Hmmmm.... how about cars?

Linux is easy - kit cars! A surprisingly big bizz in the UK, you can either spend the minimum and build your own budget racer, or splash out serious money for a pre-built kit not far off a real racing machine. And of course, you can actually match the performance of even quite exotic and very pricey sportscars for a lot less money, though the interface is probably a little less refined.

Microsoft Windows is just about any mid-range car producer, making the typical family hatch, the MPV, the business van, maybe an SUV, and the odd supercar for "special" customers. Ford is good fit, though Bill would probably prefer to be compared to BMW (the overweight and over-priced X5 is a pretty good match for Vista).

And old school Mac users were scooterists. They'd wobble around on their Vespas, happilly telling all thier odd little machines were better than cars and oh-so-chic! Of course, nowadays they are Smart car owners - still just as smug, just as stupid, and just as ripped off.

And as a final insult - "....eating just one Belgian truffle could turn you into a Mac fanboy, or indeed girl..." - is there a difference between them when it comes to Mac users?

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Linux

Food choice and OS preference

I use Linux

I buy ASDA's SmartPrice products

Can't say I agree with the theory...

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Alert

Another well-known fact rehashed as research outcome.

It is well-known that the 95% of belgians not using Macs routinely drive across the border to splurge on non-belgian truffles when the mood strikes them, adding further overhead to their not-so productive lives. But all worth it to avoid the virus.

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W
IT Angle

I had

Tomato Ketchup on wholegrain Ryvita this morning.

Diagnosis?

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Anonymous Coward

useful tip

So this is why guys give women chocolates

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Anonymous Coward

VAX Lindt

I don't know why everyone in the UK gives these belgian choccies with much stuff inside as Christmas presents. The perfect chocolate present is a half-kilo slab of Lindt.

Maybe there's a VAX/PDP/HP1000 connection... not pretty, but solid, honest, and long-lasting.

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Thumb Down

Status Symbol? Pathetic

What's all that crap about the Mac being a status symbol? That just about sums up how pathetic the human race has become. It's ridiculous enough regarding a car as a status symbol, but a an electronic tool? It's beyond belief.

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Anonymous Coward

As Linux as apple pie

Yes I DO make my own apple-pies, tart and flakey sez the galpal who would never consider cooking. And my OS? Well Ubuntu of-course, a kinder gentler Linux. Haven't used APPLE since I ate truffles round-about the 2+ .

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J
Pirate

@Coincidences

It's not called "coincidence", it's called correlation. By the way, as the old saying goes, correlation is not causation. But it IS something very different from coincidence, or chance.

E.g.: if you look at the graphs, the more priests a city has, the higher the number of crimes committed. Duh... :-)

Pirate flag? Go to http://www.venganza.org to understand (or not) why.

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Psychology in action

So the people who were told to indulge did.

And the people who were told not to induldge didn't.

Conclusion: People are sheep.

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Jobs Halo

Mmmmmmm ... choccies!

I've ordered the truffles.

Now send me Webster's address.

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Go

z/OS

z/OS users eat ambrosia because we are techno-gods in comparison to mere mortals playing with Fisher-Price computers.

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Boffin

OS's and vehicles

@ Frank

Your car comparison reminds me of Neal's essay.. prior to the book of the same name of course.

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/C_R_Y_P_T_O_N_O_M_I_C_O_N.shtml

Mines the hermetically sealed one!

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Paris Hilton

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Eating one belgian chocolate will turn me into a girl? I'd better go out and pick a dress from M & S now then. I've just eaten half a box full.

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@TeeCee

Chocolate coated raisins, "I thought there were more in the bag when I picked them up" From Moving Pictures, right? Or do I see Pratchett references in everything?

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Jobs Halo

@Matt Bryant

You are Webster Phreaky & I claim my £10.00.

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