Earplugs, anyone?

Guys,

Pause for a nanosecond and think who this 'news story' benefits. None other than Emirates themselves perhaps?

The 'Plane too quiet' story is an obvious ad-agency inspired attempt to drum up business for Emirates.

I'm not sure it is viral. If it is, is there any special classification of viral that confines itself solely to ingenue journalists? Or to be slightly more direct, to journalists seeking to fill in an otherwise dreary December morning's news?

Play white noise over the aircraft speaker systems. Not many people seem to know this

but if you play white noise to a baby/child (maybe even adult ?) or make such sounds yourself

next to baby's ear it will go to sleep. Then they can get some sleep.

Maybe now, they'll get around to banning children on aircraft so that we can ALL get some sleep!

I thought these guys were supposed to be smart?

Paris, because she's smart too.

....Open the windows and let some air in!

Oh, and what about just putting a sign on the door saying "Private"

Doh

I don't know about you, but I always thought that the people that should always be awake on a plane are the pilots! Why can't they get 12 hours sleep the night before the flight and then stay awake for their 12 on duty hours like the rest of us working folk?

Putting up signs like 'staff only' would work assuming that passengers can read.

Really the problem isn't Airbus, it is Emirates. They could have built the cabin behind the deck near the first class area where it would be too expensive for kids to be in, but they decided not to. All for the sake of chasing profit.

If anything, this article only reminds me not to fly Emirates.

I fly over 30,000 miles every year, now they can finally feel the way I feel. Why should I get all the baby-crying fun?

Is there room for two in said sanctuary? If so those pilots may not be getting so much rest.

Sanctuary much....

Been on one, the engines are quiet, but that just means its like you are stuck in a tin can with 500 people you wouldn't choose to be with, oh, you are. The engine noise is preferable to crying baby noise everytime. I agree, babies should not be on long haul flights!

Black Helicopter, as those pilots must suffer too

Just got back from Oz and I noticed that the crew rest area on 4-class BA 777s is between the mid-toilets at the front of cattle class. There can hardly be a more noisy place on the whole aircraft. The sound of crying infants, however, isn't unique to economy, there was 2 in Club on the return leg, both of which were completely drowned out by a pair of Sennheiser PXC 350 noise-cancelling headphones. Probably cheaper to buy a couple of dozen pairs of those babies than re-fit an electric jet.

Agree with an earlier poster : Ad agency gumbo.

Obviously the pilots aren't drunk enough.

RTFA!

'Capt Ed Davidson, said: "We're getting a lot of complaints. It's not something we expected. On our other aircraft, the engines drown out the cabin noise. [On the A380] the pilots sleep with earplugs but the cabin noise goes straight through them.'

Earplugs work everywhere else, so buy some decent one!

What about the poor fuckers back in cattle class who have to put up with hear every wailing infant and flush of the vacuum toilets, while trying to sleep upright in a chair?

http://www.flightglobal.com/articles/2008/12/03/319698/airbus-to-help-emirates-pilots-sleep-after-crews-find-a380-too-quiet.html

Previous poster said it all with "welcome to our world, pilots".

..it's called a Vroom Box, they'll probably need the 'Wide body' edition (at all good duty-free stores, soon).

http://www.engadget.com/2005/06/28/vroombox-pimp-your-rides-engine-sound/

If they don't like the Jumbo sound, they'll could always try a nice V8, or maybe even Concorde.....I'll get my....

Ok I've only flown short haul but one would hope that Otoo isn't given the run of the flight deck and that one pilot is always up front.

Rather than adding generators, just put an audio system with a CD on repeat or hard disk with an MP3 of the sound of engines, generators, Albatross or whatever does it for 'em.

Customer doesn't like vendor's solution.

Customer modifies vendor's solution.

Customer's solution turns out to have some shortcomings.

Vendor expected to fix customer's broken solution.

Definitely some linkage to IT here...

"One option on the cards is to install "lightweight generators to create ambient noise"."

Or they could spend 10 pound on a pair of cheap speakers and play a recording of background engine noise? Or is that too cheap/lightweight/sensible?

... better ear plugs! £1.49 from B&Q for 10.

Ear plugs, cotton balls, a little cheese to go with their whine.

bloody fly boys get it easy these days, ILS, Auto-Pilot, sleeping area, and they still complain.

What a great problem for Airbus to have. A plane that is TOO quiet. Not a problem usually encountered on Boeing aircraft. Have you ever flown in a Boeing 757? They're so loud you can barely speak and when they come in for landing it sounds like pieces are breaking off. When I first heard the landing gear go down on a 757 I thought I was a goner!

It's Airbuses for me from now on :)

The answer to all your problems. Believe me the half of passengers that aren't whining bitches will be only too happy to hold down the other half while you duct tape their mouths shut and their phones to the back of their heads.

As for babies, don't understand why they aren't checked, but there's always cough syrup or hard liquor if they won't go to sleep for 10 hours. Has anyone else noticed how apoplectic pharmacists get when you ask them for sleeping pills for babies? Well those work pretty good while we wait for some saint of a pharmaceutical conglomerate to deliver on what I believe is an unspoken promise.

If we can give amphetamines to school kids because they're bored of maths and won't do their homework, sleeping pills for babies can't be too far behind.

In answer to your question about the engine makers IIRC it was Rolls-Royce.

...Emirates provide noise cancelling headphones to their first/business class passengers anyway? I'm sure they aren't that skint that they can't afford 4 more sets for the pilots.

If they want to sleep, then why do they climb into the crew quarters in pairs?

No sleep for you, my Captain!

(Paris must have done this before)

-kids under 5.... go in the hold.

-anyone using a 17' laptop.....in the hold with you and your acer.

-In fact since it's Emirates airlines, Middle Eastern style laws should apply on the flight- yobs in the window seat who have been drinking in the past 1hr before take off....breathalysed....then in the hold....then 100 lashes!

Given that the overpaid pilot can't find it in his minuscule common sense gland to grab a couple of hours in a free hotel room to get his/her head down (ALONE) before arriving for the flight then surely (yes, I am serious) either (a) sack the pilot for turning up to work in an unfit state or (b) sack the pilot for sleeping whilst on the job.