"...Which leads to the next item - the office Christmas function," the Boss says to the assembled masses of the IT department. "The office function or the building function?" one of the helldesk geeks asks. "Just the office," the Boss says. "The director and I have been talking and he's keen that we all do something together …
Paintballs in the freezer
Why, why, WHY have I never thought of this?
I find it a little churlish of Simon to be having fun at a Christmas party when many of his fellow BOFHs and PFYs are being denied similar enjoyment by Scrooge-like corporate entities in this time of financial instability...however great paintball (with frozen balls) might be
Paris and frozen balls - I think not
perfect way to finish off..... awesome, on form, brilliant...
now, what to do for the rest of the day in the office on my own..
*goes to delete files*
<pop> <yelp> <pop><yelp>
epic - night vision goggles for the win!
...wet my pants. the PFY sure gets what the PFY wants :)
That is all.
BOFH better watch it, though
After a while the peons will discover there's no point in trying to be nice to the BOFH or PFY in the hope that they will get help from them in the future.
And everyone has a fridge....
Paintballs at work would be ........ugh.....i cant bring myself to think about it its too good.....urgrhghrghrhg
It has been awhile since I truly laughed out loud - priceless!
as work is having a xmas party this afternoon. Time to put those paintballs in liquid Nitrogen for that "extra good" feeling.
They should have seen..........
that one coming. I mean both the PFY and BOFH saying paintball, it was bound to happen.
I'm surprised though the BOFH didn't have any erm "surprises" waiting near where the treasure was by accident...
Its my works xmas part tonight.... I think I need to go get some night vision equipment....
Kind of expected all the presents to be replaced with software from Ep38.
Having been paintballing recently on a stag do where the condemed and his best man had to run the gaunlet to get their weapons during the final round (i.e. use up all ur leftover paintballs) this really made me laugh...
Hope we see a few more BOFH's before xmas...
Got me laughing...
Love it, love it, love it... Only question is whether the paintballs spent the night in the freezer again!
Well worth the wait
and I hope we'll learn next week if they remembered to put the balls in the freezer?
Where would xmas be without a little paintball, although one does wonder if the PFY has frozen his balls again :)
/tries to wipe silly grin off face
Fails - goes to pub.
Paintballs in the freezer are fantastic. Let's just say that the groom (who was so keen to go paintballing for his stag do) was very glad that the wedding was a month away...
And i thought they had gone soft
Absolute class, i nearly needed a new monitor after that(must remember never to drink while reading the BOFH).
I really thought they had given up on the paintball idea and offering to to share the christmas treasures should have set alarm bells ringing if not with the boss and director but the helldesk geeks should have known better,
The only thing missing was Vagners Ride of the Valkeries or the music from Predator blaring out over the PA system.
Roll on the New Year.
Both to the BOFH and the PFY :)
It's unlike the PFY to make such a generous move - unless it was part of a plan to lull everyone else into a false sense of security...
And paintballing really hurts if you aren't adequately prepared (speaking from experience, here!)
Mine's the well-padded, ankle-length one with the extra-high collar...
I have to admit that our cube farm would make for a great paintball scenario.
I would volunteer for "securing the Director's Row".
What a wonderfull idea
In light of a recent managerial u-turn on the policy of working from home over Christmas that sounds like perfect retribution. Perhaps there's time to convince people a sedate pub lunch isn't the way to go. Now to implement the automatic building management system for having the shutters automatically close and lights go out at an opportune moment...
Ive had dreams about slotting my colleagues with a paintball gun, Im gonna see if I can organise somthing for our xmas party, hehe
Paintballs in the freezer...
Is a myth, because:
1) The paint in paintballs contain too high an oil content to freeze in a freezer.
2) If you had high H20 content balls, H20 expands when frozen, so they would not fit down the barrel.
3) The gelatine shell becomes extremely brittle at low temperatures, so they would shatter in the barrel.
Where's JIMTHEBOSS with the follow up entertainment? I have loaded the freezer up and cranked it to maximum cooling...
Perfumed Garden Territory
What a wonderfull idea, Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 5th December 2008 13:41 GMT
'pile' of treasure
Of course, hidden in the depths of the pile of treasure there must've been a frozen paintball grenade!
Excellent BOFH once again, thanks Simon.
best for some time
The paintballs do not freeze, however the "brittle" shell becomes significantly harder. If you combine that with an overpressure cannister (which I am certain the PFY has) you can achieve a savage bruising overkill for the plebes.
(Thumbs down for the fallen...)
Can thaw my b......
Oh it'll probably get deleted
Put the paintballs in the freezer, why did I never think of this /writes note to self. Now if only the xmas parties at any place I've ever worked at were like this, I'd be much happier this time of year. Once again a choice BOFH offering Simon.
The Urban Myth of frozen paintballs ....
should have been put to rest long ago. Mind you, a well chilled paint ball does tend to transfer a lot more kinetic energy to one point before distributing its contents onto the target.
I have not as yet tried immersion in liquid nitrogen though. Anyone know the solidification point of the fish-oil based contents?
Now if they had gotten just a wee bit more creative and supplemented the contents of the paint balls with more interesting materials.
One wonders - oh like, the perfume / cologne worn on a regular basis by the office hotty / hunk - would make for interesting explanations to now former significant others / spouses of either gender or persuasion.
The gift that keeps on giving...
Some paintballs will freeze. IT all depends on the mix. If there is a high propylene glycol content then they will obviously freeze at a lower temp or refuse to freeze.
From what I remember HPB used to make a paintball that froze effectively.
Everyone knows the best way to get the most from paintballs is to use CO2 charges and hold the barrel down (so when you do eventually shoot the CO2 has had a chance to really build up to give the paintball that extra kick out of the barrel)
On an episode of "How Its Made" (Canadian produced show shown in USA) they did a thing on paintballs. Turns out that in the show they were made of perfectly edible innards. In that case they just might freeze. In any event, ones that had been "conditioned" at a lower temperature would be more painful on impact. I for one would want to be on PFY's team!
How Easily Distracted
Funny, someone writes paintballs in the freezer then people start thinking, "oh, they must be assuming water and that it must freeze".
All it has to do is become more viscous to have the intended result, we're not arguing about putting one through 4 inches of concrete. Ideally it will be cold enough that it does not break open upon impact, it's much easier to hit your target after they've fallen down from slipping on little balls all over the floor, 'course an extra couple packs of BBs or a quart of oil on the floor would tend to reduce the number of reloads needed.
Ah yes paintball, a feared sport by my last manager. Even more so as I play Tournament Paintball and have my own kit lol Strangely no one wanted to play a spot of fun team building paintball against me .......can't think why MWUHA HA HA HA !!!!
Frozen paintballs out...cheap paintballs in
Putting paintballs in the freezer will make them more brittle and prone to breaking more easily. Which defeats the idea really. What you want to get are some really cheap and nasty punter site paintballs, rather than the top end ones. The cheapest ones are like marbles :D
No, I don't mean put an Aucklander in the paint gun. I've been told that the lovely choc-orange sweets are the right diameter for the pain gun (or 'marker' as the Ozzies call them).
Nothing sobers casual sporters more than someone fronting up with their own tackle - be it bowling ball, pool cue or paintball marker and face mask...
The term "friendly game" ceases to have any meaning at that point.
Dave Ingram: you put the Jaffas(tm) /in/ the marker, you put the JAFAs /in front of/ the marker...
Jon (in Hamilton, NZ)
Re:Paintballs in the freezer
You don't need to freeze the paintball completely, just keeping them at a relatively low temperature keeps the shell more stiff and means that they flex less in the air (and thus fly more straight). But then I'm going back nearly 18 years to when I used to go paintballing more or less every week.
If you buy decent paintballs, you don't gain any advantage from doing this these days.
As for freezing the shell, well unless your gun is very gentle on the balls (!!!??!) then you'll end up with them shattering and exploding inside your barrel when you fire.
I think that the most painful thing I've ever been hit with (from a paintball gun) was probably a boiled sweet. Unless you count the time that I was shot in the knackers from point-blank range, which hurt quite a lot more.....
And what about a Dulux mortar shell????
No need to freeze the balls
Just buy some boxes of paintball-balls and forget about them for a year (or two).
The outside will harden very well with age and makes great cuts in soft flesh.
There is a reason for those safety goggles ...
Paintball is great team-building!
Building cameraderie and teamwork in /your/ team against /someone else's/ team.
My top shot: someone rounded a tree and I swung up the marker onehanded and fired an instinctive shot - which got him in the forehead just above the face mask.
My top hit: I felt a light tap on my stomach and looked down at the splatter of yellow paint. I couldn't see the shooter and I could tell by the lack of force that 'd been tagged at a phenomenal distance. When I got back to the base to register the hit, the bloke who'd tagged me was there - he'd been tagged an instant after he'd tagged me. Fantastic shooting on his part.
Would love to go out and practise more often.
That should hurt. Maybe freeze every other ball, just for some variety.
so if they're sufficiently cooled
It becomes PAINBALL!
As well as replacing the oil, how about replacing the pigment / dye with something a little more permanent than the standard water-based wash-out stuff? :)
As an added spot of fun, since it's taking place in the office, accidentally-on-purpose leave a few patch cables lying around...
Men are strange
I'm not going to your office party!
Whatshername because I don't think she would attend either. Blokes have a STRANGE idea of fun!
- Breaking Fad 4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
- Top Gear Tigers and Bingo Boilers: Farewell then, Phones4U
- First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads
- Updated iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!
- Hey, Scots. Microsoft's Bing thinks you'll vote NO to independence