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Phorm, Norman Lamont, and the Broadband Stakeholder Group

Norman Lamont is no stranger to unpopularity, so he should feel right at home on Phorm's board. He has presided over an economic disaster and defended the "honour" of a mass murdering dictator (General Augusto Pinochet, despot fans). Both episodes cast the controversy surrounding the Brave New World of ISP adware as relative …

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Scott
Coat

Title

They probably found out that there internet traffic was being monitored and demanded an explanation when the CO just shrugged and said the goverment knew they left.

John Dallman
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Conflict of interest

Employing Norman Lamont indicates a basic conflict of interest with any kind of sensible behaviour. So, no change there for Phorm...

Ed Blackshaw
Coat

Would that make him

Norman the Phorman?

Luther Blissett

One to cut out and keep

> It describes itself as "the UK government's leading advisory group on broadband", which "provides a neutral forum for organisations across the converging broadband value-chain to discuss and resolve key policy, regulatory and commercial issues".

If you ever need to start a ginger group, there's your mission statement and the 2nd para of every press release you ever do.

(Don't ask how many gingerbread men it takes to start a ginger group. I don't know. But a US Boy Scout once managed to get an exothermic nuclear reaction going in his back garden after scraping the luminous paint of 120 wrist watches. So the answer is probably not as many as you think you need).

Anonymous Coward
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Phorming members give the OK

Did I read the quote right?

"The Broadband Stakeholder Group confirms that its chair, Kip Meek is to join Phorm's board as a non-executive director. This appointment was discussed in advance with some of the BSG members potentially most affected by Phorm's business model and technology."

So the appointment was discussed with members who are about to apply the phorming technology and they all agreed that it was the only way they could get away with phorming wiretaps and webwising copyright infringement.

Talk about "as thick as thieves".

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Revenue

In any case, any revenue from Phorm will accrue to BT Retail whereas investment in fibre infrastructure will be split between Openreach (most of it) and BT Operate (formerly Wholesale). The regulatory bar on cross-subsidy ensures that any profit from Phorm will go to pay for BT Retail's jollies rather than whizzy fibre connections.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

The Dirty Dozen

The Phorm philosophy in regards to higher end employment within the company appears to me to be along the lines of the more dubious the character / person / suitability for the job, the more likelihood they will get the position in question.

Neil Greatorex
Coat

This stinks

If it looks, even when polished, like a turd and smells like a turd, chances are it actually is a turd.

Norman Lamont is, arguably, not stupid. How much wedge has he been offered/trousered to front this steaming pile?

Is there any Reg reader with a Tee Shirt printing business? I'd quite like one with Phuck off Phorm on the back.

There isn't a "I'll get my tee shirt" icon.

Anonymous Coward
Pirate

"Iiiiittttt's ... MUPPET BOY!"

Yes, Britain's most famous eyebrow-topiarist since Denis Healey, coincidentally also a Chancellor*, has joined Britain's least favourite online technologies provider since GCHQ.

We understand that Lamont became available after he and The Muppets Studio LLC parted company on terms neither party would discuss.

The combination of Lamont's financial skills and Phorm's public relations flair is seen by many industry pundits as being the best news internet users have received this year.

(* The difference being, Healey was fairly competent))

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Badger Lamont ...

... is deeply unpopular and mistrusted by the British public.

This is a godsend, it will draw the media attention these privacy-fiddlers try so hard to avoid.

Neil Greatorex

@AC 19:08

"Healey was fairly competent"

Hahahahahahaha, wipes eyes, hahahahahahaha.

Healey was the ashtray on the outside of the first stage of a Saturn 5.

Chris
Paris Hilton

(* The difference being, Healey was fairly competent))

Either of them being competent, like the current office holder, is a matter of debate.

Paul
Happy

WOO, YAY and HOUPLA!

"Whatever prompted the split, the pressure on CEO Kent Ertugrul now is immense. Phorm's last set of financial results showed it lost £13.8m in the first six months of 2008. With only £24.9m in the bank and a third trial with BT still ongoing, time isn't on its side.

Further fundraising in the current economic environment is likely to be difficult."

The first positive effect of the credit crunch!

Long may the losses and lack of funding continue (for Phorm)

For everyone else, happy Christmas and a prosperous, profiling free, new year.

Moss Icely Spaceport
Flame

Shareholder meetings

Must be fun at Phorm Inc

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Neutral?

"hopes to square his directorship of Phorm with the BSG's pledge to provide a "neutral forum" to discuss such issues is unclear"

"Neutral", clearly, is the new "totally biased and corrupt", and the BSG more septic tank that think tank.

Lamont clearly gets his jollies acting as an apologist for the utterly revolting.

Anonymous Coward
Happy

A warm hand for Lamont...

I'm sure Julian Clary would like to give him one. Errm...

Anonymous Coward
Black Helicopters

Spot on Chris, as usual!

Of course rumour would have it that Healey (and his chum Benn) are not unused to having Russian friends, re cancelling the TSR2 for example....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BAC_TSR-2

Anonymous Coward
Coat

Aaargh! Mixed up chancellor Brain Fart!

AArgh please ignore my earlier conspiracy theory ramblings re Dennis Healy - confused with Lamont (must be the badger eyebrows!)

Anonymous Coward
Paris Hilton

Norman Lamont

I think you'll find it's Lord Lamont to the likes of you.

James Pickett

Progress?

Does anyone know how BT are getting on with their trial? Surely somebody here has been asked to opt-in, or did BT forget again..?

Anonymous Coward
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@ AC "Spot on Chris..."

You should really wikifiddle _before_ you post your conspiracy theory, since the link you gave us currently contains this:

"Soon afterwards there was a General Election and a new incoming Labour Government took power, cancelling the TSR-2 in favour of ‘cheaper’ General Dynamics F-111s. However cancellation had already been considered during Macmillan's tenure, and Labour were merely implementing policy that was inevitable following Macmillan’s decision to limit tactical nuclear weapon yield."

Or was Macmillan a Soviet stooge too?

Anonymous Coward
Happy

Lord Lamont of Hamstead Heath

"I think you'll find it's Lord Lamont to the likes of you."

Or 'Fistee Lamont' as he is commonly known.

Anonymous Coward
Linux

Lord? Norman? Lamont

His politics stink, his policies stank and his motives reek.

It's cheese brain to you and don't forget it.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Norm has Phorm.

Lord Lamont, or as he is better known in his native Scotland, wee Norrie Lamont, where both syllables of his name are unstressed as in arsehole. Much too plebeian for Norrie and hence the grandiose self elevation to Norman LAmont which speaks of ancient lineage and political entitlement, indispensable credentials for an aspiring Tory politician.

Norrie's ascent of the greasy pole culminated on Black Wednesday in 1992 when as Chancellor he was forced to increase interest rates twice in one day.

Now he has been resurrected from the political graveyard to act as front man for a purveyor of malware and spying technology, so we can sleep safe in our beds knowing that the whole enterprise is doomed to failure. Thanks, Norrie.

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