Dayglo and faintly squidgy – or looking as though it might turn up as weaponry in the hands of a hostile alien: the future of stimulation is techno-sexual, and it was on display this weekend at Erotica 2008. This was the third such event to be hosted at Kensington Olympia, opening its doors to punters with the plea that they " …
Where's the snaps to make it deserving of the NSFW tag and the tagline?
I was hoping for a minor thrill of perusing unclad bodies whilst sitting at my workstation, and all I got was some dreary text.
Try harder next time guys, this is not what I expect from El Reg...
Not exactly new
This has been happening for loads of years now, not once but twice a year (the last was just last week), in Helsinki - it's called Sexhibition. And yes, it also includes vibrators, suggestively-shaped food, erotic dancers, people in gimp suits being walked like dogs, and the generally weird segments of society. The site is at www.sexhibition.fi, there's a link marked "Sex in English" for the EN summary, and it has gallery footage going back at least 12 years.
Oh, and "pix or stfu".
Tastes like liquid Cramac and and if it's been in the freezer for a couple of days is seriously good shit ...
IT angle of your dangle?
What of progress in the field of teledildonics*? I think there could have been a little more hard-nosed (stop it) reportage in this area, as the representative sci/tech correspondent at the show.
*Almost as much fun to say as (I expect) it is to try.
Will I be the first to say....
a) What's the IT angle?
b) I welcome the arrival of our hyper-vibrating, super-stimulating over(lords/ladies).
(I'd better get my coat as well, I know.)
2008 was Erotica's 11th show, not 3rd ... and for at least the last 5 there have been stands there including technological products.
sadly 2008 was the first one i've missed since 2001.
each year the art section has grown with more and more artists and products available to buy.
it was at this show a number of years ago that my wife found an item that, in her words, is the best thing ever created for dealing with her periods, the mooncup.
this report almost hits the same quality as bbc reports, it's really not Reg territory and this report kinda shows that
try harder next time or just stay away from something thats just going to show up the poor journalism
Check the Galleries. ;)
a Vibe Designed by A former Nortel Eng?
Really... I don't even trust their appliances on my network.
And if past experience is anything to go by, it would be better described as "buggered by 23 marines" than “an erotic carrier wave”.
I often wonder...
...about the office dynamic at El Reg.
Do you gather, first thing in the morning, around the crusty old editor-in-chief (from the old school when online IT'ish reportage was all about the leg work, and the hard graft, and jamming your feet in doors before they slam in your face, and damned well MAKING the story, donchaknow?!) who hands out assignments and sage advice like diamonds and pearls? Do the young cub reporters leap at the opportunity for a juicy story that might cut their teeth and make their name? Do the seasoned journos sit back, unfussed and unhurried, knowing that the tattered notebook full of scrawled leads clutched lovingly in their typewriter-ink-stained hand is just about to come together as a story that may well shake the nation to its foundations?
Could it be, just occasionally, that one of you wakes up at noon on a Tuesday, on the floor of a gentleman's club, stinking of cheap cigars and midori, with someones knickers on your head and a motorised rubber thing that looks like a licorice anemone on your whatsit, and your mobile phone ringing off the hook, and you realise that the only way you are going to keep your job is if you can hand your enraged editor five hundred slightly saucy words banged together on the train ride into the office?
Just wondering. I am naturally curious.
Paris because she, too, questions the world around her and her place in it, and the fate of mankind on a cosmic timescale...
Hmmm (@Ned Fowden).
Can't exactly give chapter and verse on how products have evolved over the years: but was sufficiently concerned by fact-checking to run the show number past Erotica's Press Agency.
They weren't completely sure but thought it was the 11th show - as you say - and 3rd at Olympia, as noted. Unfortunately, we have to rely official information sources some of the time.
Paris - to make up for the general lack of visual stimulation attached to this article.
£200 for an electro box?
Or you could buy a medical TENS machine for £30 and some electrode from medical suppliers for <£10 and get essentially the same kit.
"a) What's the IT angle?"
Eh the ARM replacing your arm?.
male sexual aids
Dont know why anyone would waste £40.00 on some fancy bit of kit when we've all got vacuum cleaners at home already.
Mine's the one with the address of the nearest A&E department in the pocket.
You can't really compare the cheap TENS units you can get from your local chemist to E-Stim's series 2. That's like comparing my gratin dauphinoise to Nigella Lawson's version of the same recipe, or Bird's Eye's shepherds pie to Antony Worrall Thompson's version.
The cheap TENS units don't work on my knackered back or shoulder. E-Stim's series 2 does, and bloody well. And it also has other uses too for those who are so inclined.
I loved way you crowbarred in the Nortel link to get an IT Angle.
Good show sir, good show.
Plaster of Paris?
Plaster of Paris - what will they think of next?
"if we can make it vibrate, we will"
rule 34 - if it exists, there is porn
off to get me a drink
Thanks, AC, for I often wonder. ...... By Anonymous Coward Tuesday 25th November 2008 14:22 GMT:-)
@ John Ozimek RE: 11th Show
definitely was the 11th show (last years was the 10th Anniversary, and i know i haven't any time lapses)
the 3rd might refer to the fact that they started using the big hall at the Olympia, but every show that i've been to, starting from 2001, were all at the same venue.
Re: @ John Ozimek RE: 11th Show
Erotica has been running since 1997, although they're now using the larger Olympia 2 hall.
Speaking as someone who used to exhibit a range of Affordable Leather Products at the show, I have to say that it's now a limp shadow of its former self. Almost all the small niche traders have been priced out of attending, the public are being absolutely ripped off (Saturday tickets were £30 on the door!) and it's now turned into pretty much the equivalent of a glorified Anne Summers event.
To compare: When I was selling my products there, the upstairs was filled with stands and the downstairs likewise. At the latest show the upstairs was virtually devoid of exhibitors and the downstairs had large empty spaces and huge aisles because too many businesses had got fed up with being charged excessive prices for stand spaces.
Of course the organisers don't give a damn as long as they can keep the punters happy, but maybe this year they will finally realise that they can't keep milking the show for all it's worth.
Anyone who is interested in buying the more niche products would be better advised to check out the London Alternative Market, the London Fetish Fair, the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar or the South West Alternative Market and Party (or SWAMP) in Bristol.
PS @Lisa Parratt's "£200 for an electro box?" comparing the E-Stim Series 2 box to a TENS unit is like comparing a top of the range graphics/ gaming PC to something you can buy from Woolworths!
It has two independent channels for safe "above the waist" play, multiple pulsing modes and even a microphone so you can zap someone to your favourite MP3! (Erm, allegedly...!)
Am I the only one who read this as "self-castrating"... it seemed horribly appropriate given some of the other 'implements' on display...
PC sexism ?
Bobbi: Ian, you put a greased naked woman...
Bobbi: ...on all fours...
Bobbi: ...with a dog collar around her neck...
Ian: ...with a dog collar...
Bobbi: ...and a leash...
Ian: ...and a leash...
Bobbi: ...and a man's arm extended out up to here holding on to
the leash and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff
it. You don't find that offensive, you don't find that
David: Lemme ask you something - lemme ask you something
David: Have you seen Duke Fame's current album?
Ian: Um... yes, yes.
David: Have you seen the cover?
Ian: Um... no, no, I don't think I have.
David: It's a rather lurid cover, I mean...ah, it's, it's like
naked women, and, uh....
Nigel: He's tied down to this table,
Nigel: And he's got these whips and they're all...semi-nude.
David: Knockin' on 'im and it's like much worse...
Ian: What's the point?
David: Well the point is it's much worse than 'Smell the Glove'
Ian: Because he's the victim. Their objections were that she
was the victim. You see?
Derek: I see....
Ian: That's alright, if the singer's the victim, it's
different. It's not sexist.
Nigel: He did a twist on it. A twist and it's..
Derek: He did, he did. He turned it around.
Ian: We shoulda thought of that....
David: We were so close....
Ian: I mean if we had all you guys tied up, that probably
woulda been fine.
Ian: But it's...it's still a stupid cover.
David: It's such a fine line between stupid an'...
Derek: ...and clever.
David: Yeah, and clever.
Paris, cos she's 'more than sexy'.
Congratulations El Reg!
The Register has well and truly Jumped The Shark with this article.
What can I say but congratulations, it's been nice knowing you as an IT site, and we look forward to the free hand-out Reg printed on toilet paper at good railway station entrances everywhere.
Well done El Reg for provoking the most complete sense of humour failure seen so far in comments!
Erm, Adrian have you read the site in, ooh, the last few years... It hasn't been an out and out IT site for some time, and, in my not so humble opinion, is all the better for it!
"...£22 a head..."
It's normally a fiver and behind a skip.
So I've been told.
My partner and I went
We left rather soon after arriving.
It was rubbish - in almost all senses of the word. The exhibitors varied from High-Street-Anne-Summers-Daily-Mail-approved to downmarket-street-market.
Boring? Yes, extremely.
The exorbitant £44 ticket fees would have been better spent in Soho!
Coat - and quickly please.
@ AC 25th Nov 13:07 - "not exactly new"
I was in Oslo in October and they had the Norwegian "Sexhibition" going on. A highly entertaining evening of gyrating ladyflesh in my face and some Norwegian bloke trying to tell me the benefits of the extra smooth silicone on their latest range of Dildos (Didn't understand a bloody word of it).
Not going to check out the UK one - too far away from me and it sounds like it reaks of Political Correctness
not too bad
Was a little dissapointed by the presence of the Daily Star or sport or somesuch, flouting their page-3 models. I don't find page 3 to be at all "erotic", and can't help wondering if it was just there to keep the single blokes happy.
As it was, we had a pretty good day out, although I do believe there were fewer stands than last year. I suspect more a sign of the credit-crunch than reducing in popularity. We did get a rather good deal on corsetry and shoes tho.
@ Adrian Esdaile
You don't *want* sex on your computer?
What kind of a geek are you?!
@Frank - IT Angle?
IT Angle? Easy - click through to the Tenga stuff and - unless it's just me - you'll get a nice message at the bottom of the product sheets
"Fatal error: Cannot instantiate non-existent class: contentboxfooter in /home/sites/tenga/includes/modules/also_purchased_products.php on line 53"
Someone needs to call in a PHPer to fix this - unless they already have and said person is busy 'instantiating' some product testing.
Sorry, I could't resist... :)
@ John Ozimek
The show has been at Olympia since 2001 to my knowledge too. It is the third show since the current organisation took over and the third year of rising entry prices and declining stand numbers.
The rentagoons patrolling the show are as much to blame for the reduction in attendees as the other facts. They are rude and beligerent as well as being prudish and bigoted.
I missed it this year for the first time since 2001 too.
I was a dude with the lube
Coming to the story a bit late - took me this long to recover after being fingered for three days straight...
You can see a pic of the now-infamous Fleshlight wall here:
- Vid Hubble 'scope snaps 200,000-ton chunky crumble conundrum
- Updated + vids WHOA: Get a load of Asteroid DX110 JUST MISSING planet EARTH
- 10 years of Facebook Inside Facebook's engineering labs: Hardware heaven, HP hell – PICTURES
- Very fabric of space-time RIPPED apart in latest Hubble pic
- Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base