Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar
DrewHew
Put yer hands where I can see 'em!!! #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

I'm cumming officer...errr....
Mine's the one with the Jam jar in the pocket
Anonymous Coward
Meatballs #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

Whensa youra Dolmio Day ?
Ted Treen
Gotta ask #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

75mm.....
Radius, diameter, circumference or depth?
dervheid
Nobby's Beach!.. #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

LMFHO!
What a Tosser / jerk / wanker!
Anonymous Coward
Measurement #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
Was that 75 (or 750) mm the depth of the jar, or the diameter of its aperture? Or half its circumference, which is how they measure condoms, apparently, though they call it "diameter" or "width", confusingly?
Marc Savage
lol #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".
Its the way they mention the do that worries me.
750mm and a jack russel is a poor jack russel.
Richard Gadsden
750mm? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

I think 750ml - the size of the jar, not the contents.
Anonymous Coward
Dedication #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
"Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling""
That's dedication for you - I'm impressed. I would take my hat off to the man, but one never knows what he may try and do with it.
Anonymous Coward
I think... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
...the jar was probably 750ml.
Anonymous Coward
Units #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
I reckon it was 750ml... But please, recognised units. How many swimming pools?
Paul
Jack Russell...... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

....possibly to lick the pasta sauce off his meatballs.
Can we now introduce a Jack Russell icon?
I know.....I know.... I'm going now......
Jon Double Nice
What next for man raised by puffins? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
Exploded Cardinal reads sermon from fishtank.
Bumhug
Shouldnt the police be up for charges as well? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

Since he didnt stop jerking off while they were beating him could be argued he was getting sexual pleasure from it. So were they an accessory to his offensive behaviour?
Ian Walker
Allow me to be the first to say... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT

What a wanker!
Mine's the one with a copy of playboy in the inside pocket
Simon
a Jack Russell Terrier!?? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:14 GMT
Chris W
Re:Well, he did, didn't he? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT
And presumably cocked and fully loaded.
Anonymous Coward
Nobby's Beach! #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Now I know how Dolmio make their Carbonare sauce...
Paris: Because, well, just because.
Jim
Oh come on, we've all done it #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT
Anyway it was the jar's fault for being so damn sexy.
Anonymous Coward
Of all the places to choose to stop ... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT
"parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach"
Irony at its best.
Joe K
A jack russell terrier?! #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT
Words fail me on this one.
Quite a day out for that mentalist.
Rob Holmes
Probably not the first but... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:16 GMT

When's YOUR Dolmio day?
Mines the one with a Ragu jar in the pocket.
Andy ORourke
Makes me feel hard done by #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:28 GMT

I got a AU$695 fine for speeding (40 in a 20 zone, which is what the speed limit is when there is a school bus with lights flashing!) last time I visited relatives in OZ
William Wallace
Nobby Beach! #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:28 GMT

If they go and call a beach "Nobby" then its hardly surprising that the occasional Ozzie makes a perfectly understandable mistake.
Paris, because she wouldn't have to think twice either.
Master Baker
Genius #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:28 GMT

What a cracking story (sorry)
Adam Foxton
He fled through a church. #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 15:28 GMT

They caught him by the organ.
Anonymous Coward
Communing with God perhaps? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 16:01 GMT

That's if your God happens to be the all-powerful FSM.
Does it not say in the wholly (made-up) gospel - in the book of Dolmio, Chapter II, Verse 7:
"And yay, I have tasted of his salty balls, and they did nourish me;
I have enveloped my membership in his tomatoey firmament, and thus I was cleansed."
It's all there if you'd only open your eyes and read it and it must be true because it's (now) written down.
Alex Coxall
Playmobile reconstruction #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 16:09 GMT
Luther Blissett
Another Lester semiotic gem #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 16:23 GMT
Did we all catch it? Jon Double Nice didn't. So here are the original storylines:
Accountant caught with fingers in the petty cash - type of thing. A frequent alternative is where shop girl occurs in the accountant position, and till in the petty cash position.
You won't find this class of jiggery-pokery in the Sun (very often).
Keith
"capiscum" spray? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 16:41 GMT

What a corking typo. Bravo!
Anonymous Coward
The real question is... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 16:41 GMT

Does this story have a "happy ending"? Was it seized (the jar I mean) for evidence?
wayne tavitt
750mm? #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 17:01 GMT
Dave Murray
The important question is... #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 17:38 GMT

Did he have Jack Russell on his breath?
Brian
@Andy O'Rourke #
Posted Wednesday 19th November 2008 17:38 GMT

You didn't get good value, did you?
Remember to pack the Dolmio next time...
Les Matthew
Any relation to this guy? #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 00:56 GMT

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/31/oz_speeding_driver/
Anonymous Coward
WTF #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 00:56 GMT
And I thought Aussie were just a little bit nuts.
Anonymous Coward
Where do you get these jars? #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 00:56 GMT

Strictly for research, you understand ;-)
Triple B
Nobbys Head #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 01:04 GMT

Even better, at the far end of Nobbys Beach is a lump of rock called Nobbys Head.
You just can't make this stuff up!
Paul
OMFG! #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 12:12 GMT

Quote-The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".
A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".- Unquote
I laughed so much I could hardly breathe after reading that!
"Bouts of wrestling" *chuckle*
"homemade sex aid" *chuckle chuckle*
"jack russell terrier" *die of laughter*
IT? who gives a fuck?!
Tim Bates
Nobby's beach... Could have been funnier... #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 12:12 GMT

Would have been funnier if he'd been up the road a bit at Nobby's Head instead.
Oh, and for the trivia buffs.... Nobby's Beach was where the Pasha Bulker had a rather long and unplanned stay last year.
TeeCee
@Triple B #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 12:12 GMT

Oh yes you can! Otherwise it would be called "that beach with the nameless lump of rock at one end".
oxo
Reminds me of "Desparately Seeking Susan" #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 12:12 GMT

"What's the Jack Russel for"?
sath
Lol #
Posted Thursday 20th November 2008 12:12 GMT

Quite the coincidence that the police decided that he must of had a weapon because his hands were on his lap... Also quite a coincidence that he decided to choose a place nearby Nobby Beach with a jar of what has been mutually agreed as a Dolmio jar.What they also neglected to mention was the bag of Nobby's Nuts in the glove compartment, most likely salted.
Also a coincidence that he took the 'no stopping zone' part of where he was parked too literally and continued even whilst being beaten by police with batons. Did he derive pleasure from this beating, or was he possessed of such drive and focus that it was like hitting an adult Male Rhino with a broken chair leg?
Paul Shemmell
Saucy #
Posted Friday 21st November 2008 19:31 GMT

He had WHAT inside Uncle Bens?
Nanki Poo
"Would you like to blow into this bag, sir?" #
Posted Saturday 22nd November 2008 02:30 GMT

Sorry...