I'm cumming officer...errr....

Mine's the one with the Jam jar in the pocket

Whensa youra Dolmio Day ?

75mm.....

Radius, diameter, circumference or depth?

LMFHO!

What a Tosser / jerk / wanker!

I think 750ml - the size of the jar, not the contents.

....possibly to lick the pasta sauce off his meatballs.

Can we now introduce a Jack Russell icon?

I know.....I know.... I'm going now......

Since he didnt stop jerking off while they were beating him could be argued he was getting sexual pleasure from it. So were they an accessory to his offensive behaviour?

What a wanker!

Mine's the one with a copy of playboy in the inside pocket

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Now I know how Dolmio make their Carbonare sauce...

Paris: Because, well, just because.

When's YOUR Dolmio day?

Mines the one with a Ragu jar in the pocket.

I got a AU$695 fine for speeding (40 in a 20 zone, which is what the speed limit is when there is a school bus with lights flashing!) last time I visited relatives in OZ

If they go and call a beach "Nobby" then its hardly surprising that the occasional Ozzie makes a perfectly understandable mistake.

Paris, because she wouldn't have to think twice either.

What a cracking story (sorry)

They caught him by the organ.

That's if your God happens to be the all-powerful FSM.

Does it not say in the wholly (made-up) gospel - in the book of Dolmio, Chapter II, Verse 7:

"And yay, I have tasted of his salty balls, and they did nourish me;

I have enveloped my membership in his tomatoey firmament, and thus I was cleansed."

It's all there if you'd only open your eyes and read it and it must be true because it's (now) written down.

What a corking typo. Bravo!

Does this story have a "happy ending"? Was it seized (the jar I mean) for evidence?

Did he have Jack Russell on his breath?

You didn't get good value, did you?

Remember to pack the Dolmio next time...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/31/oz_speeding_driver/

Strictly for research, you understand ;-)

Even better, at the far end of Nobbys Beach is a lump of rock called Nobbys Head.

You just can't make this stuff up!

Quote-The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".- Unquote

I laughed so much I could hardly breathe after reading that!

"Bouts of wrestling" *chuckle*

"homemade sex aid" *chuckle chuckle*

"jack russell terrier" *die of laughter*

IT? who gives a fuck?!

Would have been funnier if he'd been up the road a bit at Nobby's Head instead.

Oh, and for the trivia buffs.... Nobby's Beach was where the Pasha Bulker had a rather long and unplanned stay last year.

Oh yes you can! Otherwise it would be called "that beach with the nameless lump of rock at one end".

"What's the Jack Russel for"?

Quite the coincidence that the police decided that he must of had a weapon because his hands were on his lap... Also quite a coincidence that he decided to choose a place nearby Nobby Beach with a jar of what has been mutually agreed as a Dolmio jar.What they also neglected to mention was the bag of Nobby's Nuts in the glove compartment, most likely salted.

Also a coincidence that he took the 'no stopping zone' part of where he was parked too literally and continued even whilst being beaten by police with batons. Did he derive pleasure from this beating, or was he possessed of such drive and focus that it was like hitting an adult Male Rhino with a broken chair leg?

He had WHAT inside Uncle Bens?

Sorry...