Actually, the ditty we learned at school was: "Hitler - had only one big ball, Goering - had two but very small, Himmler - had two very similar, and poor old Goe-balls had no-balls at all"

"Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty bugger, cut it off when he was small."

That last line does not fit the Colonel Bogey tune at all.

The version I learned as a child ended with the line..

"His mother, the dirty bugger, cut off the other when Hitler was small."

"Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty bugger, had scollops and bollocks for teeeeea!!."

The version I learnt when I were a lad was different again:

"Hitler had only on brass ball, Goering had two but they were small, Himler had something similar, But poor old Goebbels had no balls at all"

So, was Gonarch in the first Half Life game supposed to be some kind of reference to Hitler? It's just a bit too much of a co-incidence for my liking, especially with the rumours that Hitler actually had four legs and may have come from an alternate dimension.

...that the Fuhrer was NOT a Benny tied to a tree, but he did have "Skill".

.. he was always sounded so angry.

/:^=0

Paris - assume she prefers two.

This was all in the autopsy done by soviet doctors who discovered his body. The autopsy itself was declassified during Gorbachev times.

Prior to that this interesting fact as well as Lenin's and Beria's syphilis as well as a few other interesting medical tidbits about the 20th century leaders were classed as top secret.

The only change here is that it looks like the soviet doctors conclusion that Hitler suffered from a well known developmental problem was wrong. It is not uncommon for one or both testicles to fail to fully descend into the testicular sack as the fetus develops. So after finding only one testicle present the autopsy concluded that it was quite likely that Hitler suffered from at least one developmental condition from his very birth.

... and the only think that sprang to my mind was this joke:

Q. What do you call a Russian with only one testicle?

A. Hoojanikkabolokov.

Hitler, apparently.

IGMC.

Hmmm and as we all know, News Corp are bastions of truth and morality. Unless the man of the moment or his doctor turn up with physical proof, I think I'll just enjoy the ditties!

another vote for:

hitler has only got one ball

goering has two but they are small

himmler has something similar

but poor old goebals

has no balls at all

[no mothers or albert halls involved]

now does anyone remember the other song which - along with the hitler ballad - comprised every snotty kid's repertorie of risquéness when i was wee [to the tune of jesus christ superstar]:

georgie best superstar

wears frilly knickers and a see-through bra

he wears a wig

wears a wig

that's why they call him a dirty pig

[they dinnae write 'em like that anymore!]

Hitler has only got one ball,

the other is in the Free State Hall,

Himler is very similar

and poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.....

My Grandad's version so it's true right.

Hitler has only got one ball

Rommel has got two but small

Himmler is very sim'lar

and Goeballs has no balls at all.

hmm, no icon for nazi genitalia?

half the man he used to be???

I remember it carrying on..

"Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty bugger, cut off the other when Hitler was small. She threw it into the deep blue sea, the fishes thought it was time for tea. The fishes, got out their dishes, and had scollops and bollocks for Tea!"

That came from my Grandfather who had his crew singing it during torpedo runs whilst being the "belly of the iron beast" (Chief Engineer on RN and Merchant ships)

the version I knew is the same as the reg version, however we also had a second verse...

"she threw it, into a great big tree, it landed, in the deep blue sea"

"and the fishes, had dishes, and scollops had bollocks for tea"

Further studies reveal...

Shouldn't that read "Führer studies reveal..."

Hitler, has only got one ball

The other, is in the Albert Hall

His mother, the dirty bugger

Cut it off when he was small

She threw it, in to a conker tree

It fell down, in to the deep blue see

The fishes, got out their dishes

And had scallops, and bollocks, for tea.

Not quite sure how said ball found its way in to the Albert Hall once it had already been eaten by fishes, but stranger things have happened.

Hitler, had only got one ball,

The other, was hanging on the wall,

His mother, the dirty bugger,

Had cut it o-off when he-e was small.

---

Hitler, had only got one ball,

Goering, had two but very small,

Himmler, was somewhat similar,

And poor old Goebbels, he had none at all.

---

I don't recall ever hearing anything about Albert Hall in the song, and some of the other wording and cadence most people remember above seem a bit different too - e.g. in my version the word "balls" didn't occur in the Goebbels line.

It's interesting to see the Chinese Whispers effect on such a well-known song across so many boundaries, where such communication was effected before the copy-paste advent of the Internet.

The black helicopter because it's the closest imagery to a swastika (both physically and metaphorically) in the icon list!

General De Gaulle had a penis very small

Francois Mitterand could hide his in his hand

Poor old Jaques Chirac had one that pointed towards the back

Nicolas Sarkozys is smaller than his nosey

but Carla doesn't seem to mind at all.

Coming soon to a cinema near you, the new film from Trey Parker and Matt Stone: "I was Goebbels' stunt cock".......

My grandfather definitely taught us to sing, to Colonel Bogey :

Hitler has only got one ball

Goring has two, but very small

Himmler has something similar

But poor old Goebbals has no balls at all

Ad infinitum

Perhaps 1 of his little lads 'removed' them in a dramatic life/death struggle, so when he was discovered we all thought he had none?

Course if its The Sun then the only thing that they do thats interesting is flaunt page 3 models on their front cover, which in its own right is a rather lazy way of getting away with heaving up grade ZZ tripe story coverage that Tabloid newspapers are known to invent for their own purposes. Okay okay they were very close if not on the mark this time, we all know Hitlaar didn't have a complete set of Male genitalia. Could his charisma be related to his abnormal Testosterone levels attracting other men as well as women (and at the same time freak them out) as evolution intended? It must of been an awkward life being Hitler...

That's why he shot himself XD

I dont see how any post mortem could have been carried out by the Ivans or anyone else since Hitlers body was consumed by cremation which, although incomplete, would have used up the smaller items first and his balls would certaintly have qualified on that score. Back to the drawing board?

Perhaps Uncle Adolf had No Balls at all, as technically it isn't possible to tell if one or two where removed, BY just naming procedure..

Signed:PHYSICIAN THOMAS STEWART VON DRASHEK M.D.

Actually I think you'll find the monorchic soviet was the much more likely monikered Ivor Boloockov.