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back to article Apple sued over Jesus Phone 'hairline cracks'

A New Yorker has sued Apple over hairline cracks known to appear in the Jesus Phone. In a 23-page complaint that seeks class-action status, Long Island resident Avi Koschitzki howls about poor reception on the 3G iPhone, joining a chorus of existing legal complaints over Apple's use of AT&T's third gen wireless network. But he …

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Stigmata

Title says it all

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Ed

lol

You know what they say.... it only takes one rotten apple lol

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Joke

A Problem Cubed

Well now we know what happened to all the Apple iCubes... they were melted down and turned into iPhones instead.

- 'Joke' avatar selected because this post's a real cracker.

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Jobs Horns

What, a less-than-perfect Apple product?

*stomp* *Stomp* *STOMP*

I can hear an interesting comment thread coming...

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Ed

rofl

cracker.... so thats why its the white ones lol

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Anonymous Coward

its a wonder

it took them this long to find an excuse to take them to court....

i bet the looser stood on the doorstep of the apple store on the day of the jesus phone release, decided it was a pile of crap and thought "how the fuck am i going to get my money back without looking like a fucking nob"

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are Americans..

as stupid as they appear to everyone else?

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You can sue over this?

If it breaks quickly or doesn't work as advertised, couldn't he just return the damn thing? Surely Jesus Company provides some sort of warranty.

Caveat emptor... don't buy shoddy crap.

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Si

3G is fine on mine

When you can find a 3G signal on O2's shit network it works without dropping out for me. However O2's 3G network has got to be the slowest one in the world, I'm certain it's deliberately throttled way lower than necessary, to the point that it's barely faster than EDGE.

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Silver badge

In the absence of Webster...

... you Apple newbs have all been DRINKING Kool Aid. When will you see that Stevie Gods is a person? He didn't even INVENT the x86 PC, like stupid EUROPEANS.

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Coat

@its a wonder

Looser than what?

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Arghh...

If you buy something and it breaks, take it back, get another, if that one breaks, get a refund, buy from a competitor.

Don't start a class action lawsuit because:

a) It makes the company (who have better lawyers than you) think that you really want their product and so they can probably get away with treating you like crap

b) ties up the legal system from legitimate users

c) If you dump their product it will eventually make them deal with the issues that caused you to dump it, if they ignore problems they loose custom, or drop down a rank from 'premium goods' to 'average goods'

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Yawn

This is not news - heard about this days ago.

I find it strange that the Register is so slow at reporting these things, considering their obvious desperation to publish anti-Apple / iPhone stories and feed the Linux nerd collective an excuse to spew their bile.

Also, @ it's a wonder and Arghh... (Fraser).

If you are unable to work out the correct use of the words "lose" and loose" then your comments should be disregarded by all intelligent people.

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Happy

Awwwwww.........

Are the posers just finding out that they have paid way over the odds for a piece of "Look at me. Ain't I the hipster with my latest piece of ego-wank tat" that is starting to break apart just from ordinary, everyday use?

And now they are stuck with it for the next couple of years, knowing they have been shafted and have no legal way of getting out of the contract.

It makes me smile.

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Coat

Excellent idea!

I got a Toyota some years ago and damned if there weren't hairline scratches in the paint around the door latch just a year afterward. I should sue Toyota!

And I got a DVD player last year, and it ended up with little hairline cracks in the front of the DVD loading tray. Another lawsuit, perhaps?

At this rate, I figure I should be able to file fifteen or sixteen class-action lawsuits by Friday. Sure beats workin' for a living!

Mine's the one with the hundred-dollar bills stuffed in the pockets.

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Flame

Sue?!?

What a tool

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@Gary F

I know the difference between loose and lose I'm dyslexic, not stupid. I just have a problem spelling and spell checker doesn't help when both spellings are actually words.

For the sake of decorum, I will resist saying what I think about your comment.

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Jobs Halo

Yes but...

Didn't anyone notice the cracks in the Jesus phone formed the spitting image of... Steve Jobs?

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Boffin

@Gareth Irwin

Yes

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Stop

said it before

In the original article regarding this story, and with this update I'll say it again. This person is now and was when he/she/it filed the lawsuit a total and utter fucktard. People (or companies) who file these utterly frivolous lawsuits should not only be laughed out of court but made to pay all the associated costs for wasting the courts time. Seriously this kind of shit has got to stop because it puts an unnecessary strain on an already overloaded judicial system.

As has already been said, if this goes through then what's next. Can I sue Pepsi because there was a hairline dent in the can I bought this morning? Oh wait I can sue Chevy because my car gets 31 miles per gallon and not the 32 that was advertised. Yayyy now I can be on the class action gravy train and not have to be a productive member of society. FFS someone round up all the lawyers working these stupid ass lawsuits as well as the people bringing them and beat them all with a clue bat for several days straight. They will either get the point or we'll have cleaned up the gene pool a bit because there will be fewer lawyers and their idiot clients suing over the coffee they spilt in their laps.

@ Gareth Irwin: No there are many intelligent and reasonable people in America. Unfortunately it's twats like the person filing this lawsuit who get the press.

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Paris Hilton

Bring it back? Not possible.

@ Christopher Martin, Anon, Fraser et all.

Since the launch of the Macbook the plastics (polycarbonate) has been too fragile and prone to develop hairline cracks.

After FIVE YEARS I still hear complaints from every single person I know that owns a macbook, no matter which revision they own.

As a matter of fact Apple recognised the problem but only for one half of the case, even if the plastics are the same on the top and bottom case. Getting a refund or a repair under warranty it's impossible if the cracks are on the defective-but-not-yet-recognized-as-defective half.

Now exactly what makes you think that Apple would give your money back for the iPhone, a product that has yet to be recognized as defective?

And how is QA going to improve if you do not hit them hard in their pockets?

Paris because her iPhone has dirty cracks too.

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@Keith Benicek 22:38

Still bitter about your G4 breaking down all those years ago? Shame, poor you.

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Flame

Not all Americans are that stupid

just the extreme East and West Coasters. Image conscious w@nkers who can be sold anything if it's shiny. Most of 'em bought into Obama(tm) as well.

So I went over my (company issued) white 3G with a magnifier. Goldang there's a microscopic crack next to the ring/vibe switch. Now if I was the typical New Yorker/San Franciscoan, I'd be all "OMFG! Call my lawyer! I don't have anything better to do with my time since there's no more anti-Bush protests!"

but don't worry. Obama(tm) will fix your phone too.

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@Gareth

Not all of us. Remember its the bottom 5 percent that form the outward perception of the group. Cant lump us all in because some fool spouts off at the mouth his impression of what is flushed down the toilet. If I formed an opinion of Europeans without actually talking some then I would probably form my opinion in the same way e.g. smelly elitist idiots.

anyway back to being stupid merkin

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Paris Hilton

Too much power from the 3G bandwidths

Is it just me or does this quote make absolutely no sense?

The crack problem sounds annoying though...

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Coat

hey fucknuts

class action lawsuits are started by and for lawyers. they're the only ones who benefit. and while they're really useless and wasteful, you could argue they act as a certain quality control.

why do I come here?

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ZM

My 2G is...

...just fine. No cracks, no worries.

Guess if you get plastic phones, you should expect to deal with plastic problems, no?

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Jesus phone

Take up thy batteries and walk!

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Mat

@ Fraser

No you're not - That's a crappy excuse!

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@Chris Iverson

"e.g. smelly elitist idiots."

So you HAVE met some French people then? :)

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Rob
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Jobs Horns

Gotta love it...

.... Apple should counter sue the guy for being a complete sap because "Koschitzki accuses Apple of misleading consumers with marketing claims".... LOL

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My 3G is...

... just fine. I found a crack in the casing near the connector at the base. Truth to tell, it was probably me trying to force it into a dock connector which wasn't shaped to take the 3G iPhone. I took it back to my local Apple Store. They replaced it immediately and without question, even transferring all my stuff.

Result:

No lawsuit.

Happy (if slightly guilty) customer.

Such people give Americans a bad name. Where else would someone sue McDonalds for supplying coffee which was hot and not labelled as such. Makes them look stupid. But then again there's the Shrub!

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@Shingo Tamai

That's absolutely amazing, you should clearly launch some sort of insider Apple site as you clearly have fantastic advance knowledge of products - knowing about a product several years before it was created!

These people complaining to you in 2003 about a product that wasn't actually launched until May 2006.... i'm stunned!

Oh and i love my iPhone, it's a great phone, does everything i want and far better than any other Smartphone i've ever owned... one size doesn't fit all, so all of you complaining about how crap they are, change the record, it might not suit you, but it suits a lot of other people, and they're perfectly entitled to buy what the hell they want!

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Perhaps a useful analogy

If you paid someone to build an extension on your house, and within a few months cracks started appearing down the brickwork and some bricks started to crumble maybe you'd complain to the people that built your house, if they refused to do anything about it and then you found out that several other people they'd built walls for experienced the same thing, maybe you'd be more likely to seek legal counsel. Suppose further that you found out that people had complained about it before you had the work done, and had discovered it was because they used cheap bricks.

I kow it's hardly the same, but I can see why the guy is pissed off. While there's a large number of frivolous lawsuits that make the news every day, it doesn't mean that the person filing is wrong for doing so. Bear in mind that if the guy tried to return the phone he'd probably just get another one with the same problem, and if he tried to get his money back he'd still be tied into an AT&T contract but without a phone. So it's a lose lose situation really. He's an idiot for buying a shoddy piece of kit for an extortionate sum in the first place, but I'd probably be just as pissed off if I ended up with something which is fundamentally shit.

If I bought a phone and it a) handles calls like an armless lumberjack handles logs b) is significantly slower than advertised c) starts to fall apart from structural issues, I'd be as pissed off as this guy is. Would I sue? Only if everything else had been tried first and failed.

Apple does need to learn that it can't just lie about things in adverts (which it has a record of doing) and get off scot-free, and that if they charge their customers above the odds they have to provide something that is worth that extra dosh.

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Wow

I remember the days when if you didn't like a phone, you'd buy a different one. I'm not too keen on my Hush Puppy shoes, the soles have worn out in the corners and there's a gap on my right heel - should I be suing the manufacturer?

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I hate to side with apple...

"The 3G iPhones demand too much power from the 3G bandwidths and the AT&T infrastructure is insufficient to handle this overwhelming 3G signal based on the high volume of 3G iPhones it and Apple have sold."

This guy is an idiot and obviously spends far too much time reading forums on the intaweb... hopefully the *huge 3g signal* coming out of the cult of mac's iphones will give them all brain cancer and this sort of bollocks doesn't keep propagating. I want my 3G bandwidths back!

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Anonymous Coward

paging dr webster

why did i even read this comment page? you dissapoint me sir webster.

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Geeze

Just sounds like another Chav that can't figure out how to return a defective product. Sorry, this just doesn't sound like an issue to sue over. If you don't like the phone and its beyond 30 days, sell it and move on. I can't see any normal person having enough spare time on their hands to sue over a damn mobile.

Also, what is the deal with the anti-Apple nutters on this site? Why would you waste time and have Apple rule you if you dislike the manufacturer so much. Move on and learn a hobby like carpentry or something.

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Paris Hilton

@Scott Mckenzie

I agree wholeheartedly with you matey, if the jeebus phone does what you want then buy it. It's an outstanding product to let everyone know what sort of a person you are.

Enjoy your fashion statement filled with jobsian goodness that screams 'Look at me, I'm a prat with more money than sense' and don't let anyone tell you you should be able to install whatever you want on it with no tyrannical regime killing apps remotely or imposing draconian NDAs on developers.

Good for you, no really, without sheep like you there'd be no Apple and the world needs over designed badly built junk to keep the idiots quiet.

Paris, she can blow me too.

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@AC who @'d Scott McKenzie

Leave Mr McKenzie alone. Your frothing post smacks of a seething jealousy.

I think what he said was just fine. He bought a product that he likes and does what he wants. I have a different phone which I like and does what I want (calls, SMS, bluetooth and that's about it.) and I am sure Scott would not laugh at my venerable Nokia 6021, as it is my choice. OK it's not flash but like I care? Unlike cars, to me a phone is a phone is a phone.

Apple's masterstroke was to make it a desirable item. Starck did that with chairs, Steiff with Bears, Chanel with perfume, Alfa Romeo with cars. None of these things are really functionally better than many of their competitors but the combination of attributes, functions, design and hype make them more desirable to some people than the other products are. Hell, I love my Alfa even though I know that a Toyota Corroder is probably a bit quieter and a bit more frugal and possibly almost nearly as quick and somewhat more reliable etc etc.

I bet Mr AC that there are items in your house or your closet (ahem) that you have bought because *you* think that they are cool and *you* like them and your friends probably wonder why the hell you like them, but that's your choice and your perogative.

As for the sheep analogy, if we DIDN'T have the *my choice* philosophy, guess what? We'd all have exactly the same phone and that would be MORE sheeplike.

PS it is somewhat cowardly to flame someone and hide behind anonymity.

Disclaimer: I am not an Apple fan but will admit to owning an oldish iPod (with no cracks but a very scratched up back)

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Re:Norfolk Enchants Paris Re:@AC

Absolutely agree, it is very cowardly to flame someone directly and hide behind an anonymous tag. If you're going to attack someone directly, at least have the balls to admit who you are, but then you probably don't have the balls to confront anyone directly.

Apple's other masterstroke was their interface - something which Nokia can still get nowhere near. My N95 was technically superior to an iPhone, but I hated it because it was slow and clunky and shaped somewhat like a housebrick. Likewise in the iPod, there are other mp3 players which may be technically superior, but the interface and design keeps them selling well.

For the record, I hate Apple as a company, but one or two of their products have really begun to grow on me (not literally). Yes, I recently got an iPhone after playing with one and loving the interface, and how much better it was than the other touchscreen phones I've tried. Call me a sheep if you like, I certainly don't give a stuff what you think about me because I know my own reasons. But then you probably only voice your hatred of the device because lots of other people do too, so who is the sheep?

Everyone is entitled to their opinions on what they do and don't like, but you just sat making assumptions about somebody elses character while playing hide-and-seek with your own identity.

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Bronze badge

What a twunt!

All phones get some sort of damage, its called wear and tear.

I have an old Nokia 6310 thats been driven over and survived and still works, should I be suing as its looking a bit beat up?

My Ipod is scratched from being chucked around should I be suing for that as well.

As for the part of the action about suing over the marketing, this translates as "I am thick, gullible and a doughnut and believe everything without question"

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iTwats

Don't sit on your phone, and blame the carrier if your reception sucks.

Seriously, I'm married to a yank and she's embarrassed daily by some of the stuff that comes out of the states. What a bunch of moaning gits.

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Re: Perhaps a useful analogy

You're comparing a house to a mobile phone? LMAO.

I find that some brands of toilet paper let wet poo soak through more than I'd like. Perhaps I should sue them too?

Someone sells you a dodgy house, yes you should take action.

Someone sells you something that you stick in your pocket and it gets a few cracks, take it back to the shop. No wonder the economy's in a mess, bloody idiots pissing so much money away on frivolous lawsuits. Talk about unbalanced.

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