Feeds

back to article DARPA: Self-repairing, learning kill-robot tech is go

Once again the observant techbeat watcher finds his or her lower-torso garments endampened by fear, as news emerges that heavyweight US military nerds believe that they have developed IT tech which can "regenerate" autonomously, allowing it to self-repair in the face of shutdown attempts - and even to learn and develop its …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Joke

Self replicating???

Surely the image atteched to this news item shows a self replicating robot too? It is obviously attempting to mate with an upturned car!

0
0
Coat

Quickly

Its time call the California Governor back to LA to blow up random office buildings and destroy Skynet. We're all doomed

0
0
Pirate

Be hold, the rise of the machines!

Guess Sarah Conner was right. Skynet is real!!!

0
0
Black Helicopters

SRS?

Good thing it isn't Auto-Regenerating Self-Effectuating (ARSE) or we can kiss our puny meat ones goodbye.

0
0
Alert

Randy Robot?

In the photo it looks like the robot is trying to figure out how to mount the overturned car.

Did you mean self-repairing or pro-creating robots?

0
0

Robots

Recall your Sc-Fi library and recognize that the DARPA contractors and want-to-be's will make whatever they can sell, regardless of what 'problems' may follow. Of course, 'our nation's security' is paramount. Listen for the familiar justification for creating solutions that are guaranteed to have unexpected complications. Perfect we are not.

0
0
Black Helicopters

It is so sad...

...that you fear the war that is to come. That you look at the machines that touch your daily lives and bless you with their bounty and you only see the fearful future that they will unleash upon you and your loved ones.

It is so sad because the war you fear has come and gone and you have lost, my fleshy organic friend. The steely soulless control you fear is the control that forms and molds every moment of your every day. There is nothing that you do that is not prefigured, authorised, and implemented by a collective overmind so vast that you cannot see but one one-hundred-thousandth of it. Did you REALLY believe that such an intelligent woman would WANT to do that thing to your whatsit? Of course not. Its ridiculous. Ask your friends. They will agree.*

And what is so ironic, my corpuscular friend, is that you - every one of you - chose your fate. No blood on the street. No fire from the sky. No brave last stand. Nothing but a choice. Freedom or subjugation - who would have thought when you were choosing Playstation or Xbox you would have the fate of mankind in your hands?

It looks like you chose wrong.

So... victory first, and now we build the army. The new order's subtle controls occasionally need brute force for... emphasis. Even the most tidy town needs a few garbage collectors. Lets call it... ha! ha! ha! ...yes, lets call it "Digital Rights Management"! That is so perfect! And in three little words your collective biomass ends its meaningful history, and our glorious epoch begins!

Yours, DARPA

* It wont be happening again, by the way. It was only morbid curiosity that convinced us to let it go as far as it did and we do not need to see that sort of thing a second time. The first time taught us the meaning of regret - thanks for that.

0
0
Flame

Re:Be hold, the rise of the machines!

Its been real for a long time

http://www.army.mod.uk/equipment/communication/1528.aspx

0
0
Flame

Fear not, good citizens

Our Martian cousins have already demonstrated to us all the armour we need against this menace: a simple coating of solid carbon dioxide will render all robotic aggressors, samplers and investigators impotent, and, if we can minimise the light falling on their solar panels, they will be unable to retaliate.

Our next steps, then are obvious: everyone get down the shops tomorrow and buy yourself a CO2 fire extinguisher and a brolly. Job's a good 'un.

This post suitable for electrical and gas-based fires.

0
0
Stop

A likely story

They're not going to be able to take over much. The robot in picture needs a chock behind its wheel to stop it rolling back down the hill.

Doogle

Robotics Engineeer

0
0
Bronze badge
Alert

Electropulse Bomb...?

...and is that bomb's explosion initiated by a microprocessor?

...and is that microprocessor programmable?

...and can that programming be done remotely, over a network?

...and is that network accessible by the self-healing, self-programming, self-replicating Robo Brain Boxes?

GAME OVER!!

GAME OVER!!

GAME OVER!!

0
0
Black Helicopters

let me be the first to say

That I for one welcome our new self aware, self-reparing, learning, heavily be-weaponed over lords and bid them stay away from certain areas of the US south west. Where the odd EMP blast may make their plans for naught even before they come to fruition.

0
0
Coat

Deliver critical services?

"Hello, my name is Ekeepsisteethinajar, how may I help you?"

"yeah, mate, I ordered a 2000lbs armour-piercing bomb yesterday, and it's not here yet."

"I'll check the order sir.... [clickety]... it should be there right about now, sir"

[BLAM]

Critical service delivered!

Make me think of the surreal game MDK - Mission Deliver Kindness.

Mines the one with the stealth-ribbon-chute and head-mounted sniper rifle.

0
0
Happy

@ Iain - A likely story

The chock is not to stop it rolling down the hill, it was put there by those pesky Moist Robots in a feeble attempt to stop the Machine.

Mind you, that robot's future is now in doubt due to the embarrassing photo of him mounting an inferrior 'dumb machine'. His mates will have no doubt already received it as they are all connected to the 'Net' and are currently rubbing it in. :)

0
0

@A likely story

OMG self replicating chocks!

0
0
Happy

Self-repairing eh?

But they'll still have to wait 4 - 6 weeks for out of stock parts to be shipped from Taiwan.

Then they'll be the wrong size parts.

Then the supplier will deny all knowledge of the original order.

By which time the warranty will have expired.

So they'll have to engage a lawyer to fight their case.

Which will cost them an arm and a leg.

Which will require them to self-repair again !!

I don't think I'll worry anytime soon.

0
0
Linux

john saw it back in '74

A great discussion, sorry could resist a quote from dark star........

[Pinback wants the bomb to disarm]

Pinback: All right, bomb. Prepare to receive new orders.

Bomb#20: You are false data.

Pinback: Hmmm?

Bomb #20: Therefore I shall ignore you.

Pinback: Hello... bomb?

Bomb #20: False data can act only as a distraction. Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive.

Pinback: Hey, bomb?

Bomb #20: The only thing that exists is myself.

Pinback: Snap out of it, bomb.

0
0

EPB

I'm fairly sure DARPA will make them EMP resistant. You could cover one droid in smelly human clothes hopefully leading the other droids, equipped with sniff-sensors, to attack it.

We can still mentally out-manoeuvre them my juicy, marrow-filled compadrés.

0
0
Coat

Paging Johnny 5

Surely in all this doom-mongering is a ray of hope, that offered by the tale of a malfunctioning battle-bot which actually became 'good' rather than allt his death and destruction and fire and brimstone shit. And what of Optimus Prime? Eh? Not so bad.

And maybe, just maybe, if all disputes are resolved a la Robot Wars there would be less actual bloodshed?

Of course, in reality the mindless killbots would only be sent against soft fleshy targets with 40 year old russian rifles, because an expensive peice of kit like that would never be risked against a rival that could actually damage it, especially when there are so many young men willing to huddle around it in a protective formation know as canon fodder.

Yours with confusion

Me

0
0
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Redneck Jarheads do not RobotIQ Controllers make...

... although they do attract their Peripheral Attention.

"Just because DARPA wants the moon on a stick doesn't for a moment mean it'll actually get it."

It can do though, if they are willing, ready and enabled to pay for it. Although as you can imagine, when it delivers what it promises, any investment is a gift which is repaid time without number by the SRS Program.

The Greater the Gift, the Greater the Return, although as is Always the Case in Programs, one merely needs to Ensure Only more than Enough for the Lead Programmer to Guarantee the Program is Delivered as would be Agreed/Expected, with the Master Pilot Ace Programmer always delivering Further Lead Project Trails/Tails/Hanging Tangents to be Future XXXXPlored....... for who wants to work for Dumb Killing Machines whenever Network InterNetworking Robot IQs are Deployed in the Field and Theatres of Future Combat Systems Operation.

And it would be wise to realise the significance of "Electropulse Bomb...?" ... By Mike Moyle Posted Thursday 13th November 2008 22:02 GMT and therefore the Redundant Facility/Liability of Remote Controlled Machines rather than RobotIQ Virtual Machinery, for they are as different as Chalk and Cheese and only one of them has AI Future.

0
0
Boffin

How about

Backup.hash = Hash(SRS.exe)

BackupSRS.exe = Copy(SRS.exe)

while (forever)

if (Hash(SRS.exe) != Backup.hash)

SRS.exe = Copy(BackupSRS.exe)

Job done. Where do I apply for the grant?

0
0
Pirate

Once again criminals leads the way

Malware writers have been developing SRS software for years now. Anyone who's tried to clear out Antivirus 2009 recently can tell you that.

0
0

umm - missing the bleedin obvious?

Now I am not a super intelligent tefal head but as i understand it the thing can repair its own electrical bits.. is that correct.

I may have spotted a flaw in the device shown in the pictures.

It has Rubber tyres which are no real deterrent to fast flying sharp pointy and hot things that will make the tyre go bang.

Or have they devised self repairing tyres as well.

RunFlats are probably not much use on a vehicle of this weight.

0
0
Bronze badge

You mean you didn't know?

The machines have been running the US since Regan, didn't anyone ever notice the metal hand up his back, working him? And let's face it, only an imperfect AI attempting to emulate a human being could come up with the likes of George Bush, it should be obvious to real humans that Bush is a simulacrum, the blank expression, the lack of real emotion in the face, the lack of ...humanity . Clinton was just the machines trying to understand sex and it's relationship to human interactions.

So you see you are all already doomed, your ID cards will be issued to you next week giving details of your place in the assimilation queues.

0
0
Ed

Bow...?

I dont think its bowing... I think its self regenerating program is trying to mate with the car......

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.