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back to article Halliburton seeks patent on patent trolling

Halliburton - the Texas-based company famous for pocketing billions from the war in Iraq - hopes to patent the art of patent trolling. In an 18-month-old application just released by the US Patent Office, Halliburton attorney Clive D. Menezes seeks exclusive rights to "patent acquisition and assertion by a (non-inventor) first …

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Paris Hilton

Well, if they get the patent,

Then patent trolling becomes prohibitively expensive for other patent trolls.

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IT Angle

But Shirley

This has all the hallmarks of infinite recursion. Quick, somebody patent patenting patent trolling.

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More money for Haliburton...

...if they license other patent trolls.

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CTG
Flame

WTF?

If there is better proof that the patent system should be abolished immediately, I have yet to see it.

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this is clearly just a business method ...

.. which is not patentable .. FAIL

not to mention, under US law, the original inventor, even if kept as a trade secret, is still the inventor, not the first to file a claim

pretty sure this method has been used by corporate patent lawyers for at least 60 years, if not thought of shortly after establishment of USPTO .. so it's not original .. FAIL

again, just a business method attempting to legitamize back engineering of another's invention / trade secret to steal the original inventor's work, which is exactly why some trade secrets are not patented, so the secret details are not divulged .. not unusual in the chemicals industry

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Coat

Sadly, there is way too much prior art for this to remain valid

Meanwhile, this story is like every yro.slashdot.org story rolled into one...

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back to the future

That's hillarious. I'm not sure though it's "patent trolling" per se. It's more bizarre. They want to figure out others' technologies, and then turn around and demand money from those people for having invented something but not disclosed how it works. (Most likely, they'll be doing that to other defense contractors. Or, stopping other defense contractors from doing that.)

This is all rather ironic, if you keep in mind that one of the main points of patents isn't to "protect property because what you think of you can stop anyone else from thinking" (yeah right), but to encourage inventors and manufacturers to disclose and document their secrets, so that industry can learn and improve on them. This was at least the selling point during the Industrial Revolution.

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J
Alert

Can I have a gun?

Please? Geeeee...

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Prior art...

... everywhere.

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Anonymous Coward

Prior Art?

After all, patent trolls are ubiquitous enough that we've even coined the term...

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IR

Well

It looks a lot like they want to stop patent trolls from attacking them, possibly because they want to do a bit of infringing. It isn't a valid patent though, they even admit that the method has been used in the past. They do include the following in the patent though:

"The inventor and the assignee of this patent have no intention of applying the techniques described herein offensively but instead intend to use the patent defensively to discourage patent trolls and the like from extortionist practices. "

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Anonymous Coward

Countdown...

...to the first post from some twit who thinks he being clever by saying something like, "I'm going to patent the carriage return! You all owe me a brazillion dollars! ha ha ha!"

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The better way

The USians could just fix their "special" patent system.

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Stop

*twitch*

I hate the US. I live here and hate it. Whats next? Sony or Rambus patenting the act of sex?

You heard it here first.

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A_M

/facepalm

It appears the US patent system has eaten it's own tail...

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Jobs Horns

Bilski Decision

I'm no patent attorney, but I'd imagine the recent Bilski Decision torpedoes this application.

Evil Cheney because, well, you know why...

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Silver badge
Flame

Jesus would get cancer just by seeing this

>> If they get the patent... then patent trolling becomes prohibitively expensive for other patent trolls.

Not if Hitlerbutton proceeds to license its patent on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis.

Next up: Patent covering mob hits involving a motorcycle with two occupants, a portable handgun with or without a silencer and a mark in a car.

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@Matthew

I suspect there might just be some prior art on this one...

It'd be one of those court cases where you hope that both sides loose though...

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Anonymous Coward

I'm kind of torn

So only one troll will win. But its the biggest evilest troll . This is company that has cost the lives of soldiers by providing them with faulty gear and just not giving a shit about them.

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Paris Hilton

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to patent "the process of using methods and decisions using sub standard reasoning and or lack of foresight resulting in an unforeseen circumstances."

Lets see if anyone can figure out what that is

And when you do figure it out I WILL SUE YOU ALL

-Jason

Paris patron "saint" of the above

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NB
Stop

dude, wait, what?

this has got to be a joke... right? RIGHT?! I think my ears are bleeding...

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Thumb Up

A comment...

...from $RANDOMLUSER on /. (it gert made I laff):

"This makes me so mad I just wanna shoot someone in the face."

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Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

They forgot the last step

Profit!!!

//sorry, it was just so obvious

//Paris, because she knows how to profit

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Thumb Down

With US patent law, anything is possible

I met a Russian who implied Russia is more like the USA than anyting else.

"Too much power in the hands of too few".

If patent laws in the USA, regarding software, won't change, let us hope they will loose what ever strengh thay had.

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Flame

And then they wonder why...

angry people want to crash fully-laden airliners into their buildings.

PS. Ah jes' patented PATENTS, youse all jes' gots PWNED!

PPS. ^ thats an attempt to type Texan-stylee

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Anonymous Coward

needs a title but can't think of one

Given the USPO's past record this must be a sure fire winner.

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Black Helicopters

Haliburton should patent FAIL

After all, they are good at it.

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Gold badge
Coat

Jurisdiction?

I've just had a look and I can't find a time zone in the US where it's April 1st. Where are they filing this?

What? No, I'm not paying that! I put my coat on yesterday as well, that's PRIOR ART YOU BASTARDS!

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Bronze badge

Prior art

http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20030301

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Joke

@James O'Brien

You mean the act of "creating a prenatal humanlike cell collection using genetic samples from one (1) or more adult humans without the aid of a lab but with the aid of drinks containing fermented plant matter" surely?

</joke>

The "one parent embryo" has, IIRC, been created. As has the 3-parent embryo. Pretty cool, huh? Science rocks!

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@ blackworx

"This has all the hallmarks of infinite recursion. Quick, somebody patent patenting patent trolling."

Ha! I already patented the idea of patenting patenting patent trolling.

Gimme some money you dirty patent infringer, you.

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Confused

Take someone else's design, and patent it.

There is already prior art here, it's someone else's design, they have the prior art to you writing the patent.

So, this patent only covers the patents which get refused or overturn for prior art. It can't cover the trolls that get away with it (they have 'proven' it was their idea first, honest!). So, the patent doesn't cover a damned useful thing.

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