MPs finally got around to a rare debate on cybercrime earlier this week. The debate - held on Wednesday morning, hours after Barack Obama's historic US presidential victory - was characterised by much mutual backslapping and many members of parliament praising each other for simply turning up. There are a few nuggets of good …
Makes a change
And there was me thinking they only debated the latest BBC broadcasting 'outrage'.
"the government had allocated £29m over three years to implement the national fraud programme, which includes the establishment of a national fraud reporting centre."
So how does this work?
Me: I'd like to report an online fraud please.
NFRC: Of course sir, can I take your National ID card reference?
Me: Er, no I don't have one.
NFRC: Well I'm sorry sir but if you don't have an ID card, how can you prove it wasn't you who carried out the transaction? Would you like me to send you an application form so you can be protected in future?
Just got onto the last page
of reading the whole thing and so far they have not actually decided any plan of action or when talking about educating people the iwf hasnt even been mentioned.
I would glady pop over to the Lords lounge (at the govt expense of course) and explain the finer points of cyber crime. I only say that because I know more about it than prescott knows about pie fillings
I feel so much better knowing these idiots are going to be tackling the problem.
Oh, wait.... no I don't!
I can see it now.
"Ah yes, cybercrime. Isn't that where somebody steals music from a Popular Beat Combo?"
This will be overheard in the House of Commons bar, of course. Everyone there will be taking a less than vague interest in proceedings while actually getting down to the important business of waiting for the 3rd reading of "Members of Parliament expenses process (refinement) 2008 part II"
In the chamber will be a junior junior minister reading from a pre-prepared wafflefest, "doughnutted" by the other eight attendees from the government. The opposition benches will be staffed by four MPs who couldn't stay awake long enough to get to the bar and one who owns a computer, has used Excel to prepare his expenses once and therefore thinks he has a point to make which will get him an entry in Hansard.
Eventually a motion will be proposed to form a sub-committee to look into the problem with a view to reviewing the existing legislation. This will go through on the nod, cueing a shift-change in the bar.
Parliament. What's it for again?
British Politics to me!
I demand an election now!
Government taking action??
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Wouldn't this be an ideal location for the new cyber-crime unit?
There were a few spare huts last time I visited and, from the looks of them, a fair supply of knowledgeable geeks wandering around.
You can't ever realistically expect any one in goverment to have a serious informed discussion on anything related to information technology: they just don't have anyone qualified or with any real signifcant experience in the subject matter.
And yet, these muppets form all this legislation without really knowing much about it.
Location should be in cspace
if you are going to fight modern day constantly evolving threats, not sure what a place 'famous' for defeating a typewriter would inspire :)
Thing is I don't think many who know their stuff want to work for the government, they would seriously have to juice the offer, it is not like meat space policing is it. Currently most use tools developed by others, the real script kiddies tend to be on the enforcement side.
Just before it is made a law...
Some arse will leave the USB drive on the train with all the details and probably the bank account details for the £29m