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back to article Honda debuts groin-clutching walker exoskeleton

Mighty motors'n'tech globocorp Honda has wowed the world's media today as it unveils a combination of two-legged indoor robotic horse and lower-body exoskeleton walker device. The saddle of Honda's new assisted walk/crouch machine 'Fundamental technology' - indeed. The machine, described by Honda as a "walking assist device …

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Flame

You may be laughing, but my neighbour will sell one of her kidneys for that

I live next door to a Spanish expat lady with knee replacements and 3 nails in one of the hips after she fell from a bath tub. I do not think that she will be laughing anytime soon at your groin comment. In fact she will gladly part with a portion of her lifetime savings just to get her legs on this.

The number of people who lose mobility because their joints cannot take the load by far exceeds the number of people who go fully disabled. From there on they can no longer exercise, this damages their heart, they gain weight and it all ends up in one horrifying downward spiral. Mobility tools like scooters and zimmer frames are utterly useless here because they cannot help people like that move around the house (especially a UK one which has the bedrooms on the second floor).

While I generally appload the el-Reg attitude including the famous "what does this sign mean" contest in this particular case this one has probably went into the realm of " mauvais ton".

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Paris Hilton

And I thought...

...we were trying to reduce obesity? Now fat lardy kids will have to do even less work and become even fatter and lardier.

Good for those with injuries or other ailments though.

Paris - cuz her thighs need no artificial support

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Happy

Can't help thinking...

about the "Custody Boots" in the Red Dwarf 'Justice' episode.

Or 'The Wrong Trousers'

Imagine the bag snatcher's face when the 'doddery old dear' who's bag he's just nicked comes sprinting after him though!

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Stop

@AC

Lighten up. I know plenty who would have this tomorrow, but take the report with a pinch of salt.

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Paris Hilton

Old people's homes

I have visions of OAPs in homes being lined-up and marched off to dinner, toilet, bed etc automatically by staff with remote controls.

/Paris because her groin area has probably seen mechanical assistance

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Black Helicopters

"you've got that something"

All together now...

"I think you'll understand.

When I'll feel that something

I want to hold your gland,"

Seriously, during the ROTM!?! We'll be just where they want us.

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Joke

Batteries?

Let's hope these aren't part of another Sony battery recall. The last thing a user would want is the groin support going up in flames... My walker's on fire! RUN! Oh I can't... I'm strapped into the shoes. Unless the batteries are in the shoes of course.

Great Balls of Fire, or a dramatic reconstruction of Michael Flatley's "Feet of Flames". Take your pick :-D

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Aye

@AC Above, you're right, this looks like a fantastic device, I can think of many people who would make use of one of these.

Lets have 'em Honda!

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Happy

I'd love one of these

I'm currently packing/moving/unpacking and this would save a lot of strain... I wonder if I could get one on the NHS.

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Ash
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A semi-crouched with buttock support

So, a sitting machine!

I bet wheely-chairs are cheaper, and more fun. You can scoot between cars!

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Joke

Robocup...

That is all...

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I for one...

...welcom our groin-grabbing, two legged overlords.

Sorry had to be said. In other news: I WANT ONE!!!

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Heart

Great idea

but the sony battery think is mildly worring but it would give a lot of people more independance which is great 2 hours battery life not so good i can imagine now 20 old ladies lined up in a row recharging while having a chat and a cup of tea maybe a new type of cafe :-)

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Go

so how long

Until the star wars walkers?

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Sounds like Mr Garrison's 'IT' vehicle

http://www.tv.com/south-park/the-entity/episode/99590/recap.html?tag=overview;recap

"IT is a gyroscopic cycle that requires the rider to use four flexi-grip handles. Two of the handles the rider holds onto with their hand, another requires the user to place their mouth over to operate the turn signals and the last one require the rider to insert into their anus, so that they can be held in place. "

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Looks good to me.

Anyone who's a bit older or even anyone younger with a disability, or indeed anyone who's had a serious injury and is recovering could well make use of something like this. Looks like a good idea. Why the mocking? Back injuries and other joint injuries are very common in Britain and probably around the world. If there's some kind of sitting/squatting/supporting machine that's easy to use then bring it on; imagine the help it could give to so many people. How many old people fall over or get injuries from not being able to bend down/support their own weight when leaning over at awkward angles/whatever. This could potentially help them and many more like them and many more besides.

I strongly suspect there will be a wave of derision for this post but really, if Honda have come up with something that gives people a helping hand then let's get the item over here, evaluate it and make it available for people who could really use them. If it does what it claims, it'll be fantastic.

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Anonymous Coward

Does it have an accessory socket?

perhaps Sony has its eye on the USB strap-on dildo market?

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Coat

Li-ion batteries?

I hope it is not powered by Li-ion batteries, don't want one of those to overheat or explode in the cock piece..... Ouch...

Power up, I'm legging out of here

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Sam

?A title is required.

Can you tweak it so you can run inhumanly fast?

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Calling all doms

Wow, imagine a bondage dominatrix getting this, and putting in/on an anal plug with appropriate restraints. Make more money than formula one. Even better add gps and remote control. (I patent this idea)

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New TV series

"Pimp my walker" I can see it now, with all the cash just flowing in to my pocket muahahahaha.

Seriously though this looks like a really good idea. Not just for those who are recovering from injury or who are older and have joint difficulties. But also for certain types of factory work, I can see where the use of this could help reduce the amount of strain related workers comp claims a company would have to pay out. The only worrisome thing is has been stated already is Sony's issues with over heating batteries. Well that and only two hours on a charge, but if they can get past those things I can see where this would really take off (no pun intended).

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Coat

@ Thomas Baker

would you like a jelly-baby?

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@ Looks good to me.

Honda giving people a helping hand? More like a leg up, surely?

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Joke

@Thomas Baker

'Back injuries and other joint injuries are very common in Britain and probably around the world.'

Actually, no - it's just Britain. The rest of us can't for the life of us figure out what you get up to over there.

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Ed
Black Helicopters

Is it just me or...

Does anyone else see them selves watching a discovery channel documentary in the future with the following line in it...

"The power armour of today’s soldier can trace its humble beginnings to the Saitama car factory in Japan".....

:P

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Paris Hilton

Does it have

Vtech, yo?

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Bronze badge

Hmmm

If Honda can give this the acceleration, cornering and handling of their famous CB 600, I'll buy one.

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Unhappy

@ '@Thomas Baker'

Mostly sit on our lazy arses watching 'Trisha' unfortunately.

Oh and a significant portion of us now that 'a bad back' is one of the best ways to get extended time off work...

...so we can watch more 'Tricia'.

Sometimes I depress myself.

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Paris Hilton

But does it work?

I hope it's more reliable than my current model Honda Civic diesel was. If not, expect: to wear it as a hat (springs fitted upside down at Swindon). Don't ever expect to recharge it, as you'll never get at the charging socket (3 fixes and well over a year before the petrol cap stopped sticking). And if these are fixed, expect an eye-watering ride in the saddle (cheap suspension and faulty shock absorbers.

Oh, and don't expect it to stop. The handbrakes were all faulty, but it took two years for Honda to fix them. At least it'll be no worse in the rain, the car shipped so much water, I had to keep a tarpaulin in the boot.

I gave up six months ago, when I realised it was never going to work.

Pais, because she doesn't work either!

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