Feeds

back to article BOFH: Radiating sincerity

When you've got a problem it's always good to have a couple of bastards to call upon in times of trouble. Sadly, Brand and Ross aren't taking calls at the moment, so I have to call upon a fellow IT bastard, Jerry, for his thoughts... "So how big is this pile of monitors?" he asks. "180 last count," the PFY says. "And you don …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Coat

Superb

The cunning, in inciduousness... genius.

I'm just firing up OOo Impress to generate a recall notice, then I'm off for a weekend trip to the French duty-free.

Mines the one with the chunnel ticket in the pocket!

0
0
Thumb Up

Now, who's chair ...

I may have some very reasonably priced office furniture available in the near future if there are any takers

0
0
Thumb Up

Dosh? Dosh!

... while making a truckload of dosh on the side. Or in this case, several truckloads. From every possible angle.

0
0
Heart

So good!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Brand, Ross, Luton, Liverpool... loved it all

0
0
Flame

Hazardous waste

A couple of years back we had to dispose of a slightly smaller sum of CRTs. It amuses me that we had to register a producer of hazardous waste in order to do so!

BOFH makes most Fridays so much more entertaining.

0
0
Unhappy

Whats wrong with Luton?

This is the second time my hometown has been mentioned in a derogatory manner in the BOFH. What is so amazingly wrong about Luton that it is immortalised in BOFH print?

Anon cos deep down I am ashamed to be living there

0
0
Thumb Up

Brilliant.

Thanks Simon, that's been the highlight of my day so far!

0
0
Coat

RoFPML

"...where birth defects go largely unnoticed.."

Sheer magic

Mines the one with the liver birds badge on the lapel and the crosshairs on the back

0
0
Thumb Up

Brilliant

"Five quid for mercury, but it's ten quid for radiation because they have to ship them to Liverpool - where birth defects would largely go unnoticed."

"And premature death is a blessing," the PFY adds.

this just made my monitor wear a mouth full of tea.

You do realise you give people ideas with these though.....PFY fire up the colour printer i got some recall notices to do, is 5 laptops too much? and you know high management are stupid enough for this.

0
0
Thumb Up

Great work

There was an ill-informed scare about CRT radiation in our office many years ago. The result of this was a handful of end users buying protective glasses (at twenty-five notes a shot) from a dodgy mail order company that made them look like they had insects' eyes.

Like this: http://tinyurl.com/twatspex

A stunning victory for the IT department.

0
0
Thumb Up

Third world . . . Alambama

(wipes early morning coffee off of display)

0
0

Classic!

Quote: "...ten quid for radiation because they have to ship them to Liverpool - where birth defects would largely go unnoticed."

That's the second-funniest thing I've read today :)

The funniest is here:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/31/bodkins_brum/

0
0
Thumb Up

Excellent

The last bit about exploding pistons really got my funny bone.

0
0
Thumb Up

HA!

Top notch as always.

0
0
Gold badge
Happy

Re: Excellent

It's an old adage that for anything to be really funny, there must be an element of truth in it.

Some years ago, a mate working in London told me an interesting tale. He and his colleagues were delighted to find on their arrival one morning, nice shiny new chairs with all mod cons. They were less delighted to find that these were loners while their existing cruddy old chairs were refurbished. Anyhow, after a while said crap chairs were returned, reupholstered, refurbed and with all the nuts 'n bolts tightened up. The celebrations of the management at their financial acumen lasted until about 9:30, when one of the larger of my mate's colleagues arrived and flopped heavily into his refurbed chair. This resulted in a significant BANG and the subsequent destruction of a rack of kit by said large gentleman, now with a stainless steel pipe shoved up his arse.

The cheapskate management ended up paying for the refurb, new chairs, some kit and a large out-of-court injury settlement.

0
0
Flame

RE: Whats wrong with Luton?

What's right with it?

Brilliant piece.... gives me an idea...

Chunnel ticket in pocket.

0
0
Thumb Up

CRT

Now I need one - as my old one is beyond repaid thanks to "And premature death is a blessing," the PFY adds.

Genius,

0
0

Ahhhhhh

THATS more like it ! ! !

0
0
Coat

Eh?

Luton? Third world?

I've been there, and have to travel through it twice a day - even at 60 mph it looks worse than most 3rd world towns I've been to (Mogadishu, and both Birminghams...)

Mine's the one with an invite to the Mad Hatters Tea party in the pocket.

0
0
Bronze badge
Alert

RE: What's wrong with Lutton?

Twice? You must go and read the archives...

0
0
Joke

dihydrogenmonoxide comes to mind...

time to cash in on the watercoolers ... and the plumbing throughout the buikding, with the price of metal these days .. ka-ching

0
0
Thumb Up

ah a proper Friday

New boss, loads of cash for our relentless heros, and a maimed bean counter all in one episode. Gawd I love the smell of a good corporate fleecing in the morning.

0
0
Silver badge
Happy

Mmmmmmm

I can relax for the weekend now. Thanks Simon!

0
0
Thumb Up

Best learnt lessons

Are to NOT have anything in your mouth whilst reading BOFH!

0
0
Thumb Up

Question

I'm from Germany, so please could one tell me what's the fund about Brand and Ross?

THX

btw. a grand BOFH as nearly every time - Thanks to Simon

0
0
Happy

Tasmanian ?

"A few Tasmanian desktop upgrades during the move?"

LOL! It's been a while since I've heard a "two head" reference.

Having said that, my ideal setup would involve 10 or 12 monitors...

0
0
Pirate

Oi

Where's jim the boss SHOUTNIG HIS USUAL DRILVE ABOUT THIS WEKS EPISOED????

0
0
Thumb Up

Very, very funny.

One of the best BOFH episodes in ages. "Hazardous Radiation" - an excuse anyone falls for, including the Boss...

0
0
Heart

Pure Genius.

I really have not laughed so much for ages. This one was truly, truly brilliant. Especially since I know of a (small Company/major uS-based it outsourCer - delete as approriate!) organisation who actually seem to have fallen for sometihng pretty much like this...

0
0
xjy
Paris Hilton

full of zappy goodness

Chock full o' nuts, as they say. The real killer this time was the twist (of the knife) at the end.

Poor poor beancounters.

Anyone worked out how much booze you can get for 900 quid?

(Paris cos for 900 quid who knows what you'd get!)

0
0
Coat

Tasmanian Desktop Upgrades

Put me out of my misery, please.

What does Tasmanian Desktop Upgrades refer to?

(Mines the one with the well thumbed OED in the pocket)

0
0
Anonymous Coward

No Woolies in Luton

What's wrong with Luton - ask Woolworths, because they've left.

Guildford got it's branch back a few years ago, so is obviously OK.

0
0
Ze

Tasmanian Desktop Users

I'm guessing it has something to do with the old aussie joke.

What's the difference between a Tasmanian and a Queenslander?

A Tasmanian has two heads , whilst a Qlder has one head + a scar on their shoulder.

Hmmm going to need to think up a title for myself when I form a company soon. BOFH is much more tempting than MD.

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.