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back to article Forgotten what an egg looks like? We can help

Hot on the heels of the Beeb's "just exactly where is England?" shocker, we have a further example of news outlets' occasional need to really spell it out to readers. Yes indeed, try this cracker from the News & Star website, gleaned from an article entitled EXTRA POLICE DRAFTED TO CRACK KESWICK EGG-THROWING CASE: News and Star …

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Joke

Damn

So that's where I've been going wrong... no wonder my scrambled egg on toast doesn't seem to work quite right; let alone when I try to fry them... to think, I've been using the wrong thing all this time!

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What a nice place Keswick is.

The kids there don't do drugs, don't throw bottles, don't burn cars and don't drop bricks onto trains.

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Black Helicopters

international conspiracy?

The object doesn't seem to meet the EU standards. It is missing a stamp, and should look like this...

http://www.britegg.co.uk/lionquality05/startlionquality.html

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Happy

Wrong caption!

It should surely have read "An egg, yesterday" in homage to Private Eye, for whom this has been a running gag for many many years.

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Uhhh, horrible puns!!

see title

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Paris Hilton

What exactly do you expect them to illustrate the article with?

An anchovy?

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aye Johan

Eggree they have been most eggstravagant on the pun front.

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Unhappy

Very helpful

But I'm afraid it only raises more questions. If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?

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Happy

Duh!

I can't decide: Whoever said "cracked the case" either needs a medal or shooting!

I now know why all my cooking recipes have been going wrong: I thought an egg was that powdery thingy!

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@Wrong caption

Ha. Beat me to it. At least I can add that Viz also used the caption template from time to time.

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Coat

Which came first?

The baking911.com egg, or the news and star egg?

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=egg

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Flame

Ok.. so we're going down this route are we?

Ok......

Next stop, we'll be commenting on Google being like google.....

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Paris Hilton

Not just in Keswick!

I opened my door lastnight just a little so I could have a sly fag (smoke) and was shocked to have an egg launched at me from behind my house. So it happens in HULL too! I bet it wasn't free range as I do live on an estate full of Netto shoppers!

Paris.... as I'd like to do something with her eggs and I bet she could get anyone to come out of their "shell"!

Hehe.. Its a cracker!

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That's no stock photo...

...its plod's e-fit.

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Stop

Missed opportunity

Definitley a Bacon and Eggs joke in there somewhere.

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@Damn

So what have you been usi....never mind.

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Silver badge

The answer to the problem

.177* air rifle, and a good, well set scope.

Hope that helps :-)

Steven R

*powerful enough to hurt, not powerful enough to cause major damage to any fleshy parts, but don't aim for the head....

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Along similar lines . . .

Anyone else noticed web forms where you are asked things like -

Age: (e.g. 22)

and

Town: (e.g. Colchester)

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Paris Hilton

Hmm...

The runny stuff on my windows doesn't look like that round brown thingy, so it must be something else they threw at me...

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Eggsaclty what is the problem?

The eggs were not rotten.

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Stop

Don't know what the fuss is about.

I'd be a lot more concerned about the fruit the kids are throwing.

Pineapple through your window?

Mango related impact injury?

Star fruit has some quite point edges.

BAN ALL FRUIT NOW!

WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

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Coat

Escalation.

Rumour has it that the army have now been called in and they're using shells!

Intial reports indicate serious casualties in a friendly fryer incident....

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RW
Paris Hilton

Where is the Register's sense of humor?

If El Reg is going to reprint the story & pic of an egg, I would have expected a photo gallery of other, better egg pictures, by gum!

Paris...just because!

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Coat

@The answer to the problem

better still, aim for the eggs when they're about to throw them.

<sarcasm>

Wonder how long before the government insiste that you need proof of ID before you can purchase these dangerous weapons?

</sarcasm

Mines the one in the nice duck egg - err - yellow?

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Anonymous Coward

Giant omelette

Perhaps we could have an egg amnesty - and it could go to a good cause!

http://www.giantomelette.org/

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If you carry an egg ...

... can you be imprisoned without charge for 42 days?

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Black Helicopters

@ Tim Schomer

In Cheltenham you cannot buy eggs unless you are over 18, or maybe its 16. The Jet Garage has a notice on the door from the local plod saying so.... no honestly, it does.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Stop

@ <If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?>

Q: <<But I'm afraid it only raises more questions. If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?>>

A: Simple, according to the article: fruit.

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Stop

Age limits

Are the local shops in Keswick selling eggs to children under age? Do they not know the penalty for selling prohibited goods? What? Eggs are not prohibited yet?

No wonder this country is going down the pan. Next thing we know it will be impossible to collect firewood from our local forest. What?...

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@ Steven Raith

Need help clarifying, are you advising me to aim at the eggs (PULLL!!) or the hoodie-donned-chav acting as the egg launcher?

Think I'll go for the latter - is probably easier and much more effective (and satisfying?)

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J
Coat

Eggcellent

Now, that pic does not look too realistic to me, for some reason...

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Bronze badge

Eggnorance is no eggscuse

It looks as though it is not eggseptionally dangerous, I think the piolice are ovumreacting.

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Paris Hilton

Please, no more egg puns...

...un oeuf already.

Paris for the French connection.

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Paris Hilton

@Steven Raith

"but don't aim for the head...."

Ha Ha...at least, don't aim for the big head.

So why isn't local undercover plod hanging out at the local grocers? Numpties.

Paris, 'cos I would check her eggs a few times.

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Joke

so they've had to shell out for extra patrols?

They catch the culprits before the story's ova...

Do you have an icon for really bad puns?

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Black Helicopters

Google Earth is evil

The scallys are using Google Earth to navigate the back streets!

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Happy

It's a new Govt initiative

We've all got it wrong - this is actually a new Government food distribution campaign - they just need to work on the delivery. When tried in France, residents quickly said they'd had an oeuf.

Re-name to The Eggister??

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