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back to article Gov cans 'national day' plans

The government has canned plans for a 'national day' during which citizens of good old Blighty might celebrate their Britishness by tucking into a chicken tikka masala washed down with cheap tinned Oz lager while watching US TV imports on their Japanese-made TV. Sadly, Gordo's proposal to offer a day where Brits might "focus on …

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Happy

Time to celebrate

Perhaps in years to come, decent upstanding British folk will celebrate the 27th October as the day they rejected the idea of a day. And how very British would *that* be?

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IT Angle

"the UK's generous roster of public holidays"

I can only assume that this is sarcasm, given that most countries in Western Europe have more public holidays than the UK?

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CTM

Isn't chicken tikka masala a UK invention (Glasgow?)

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Anonymous Coward

I think you'll find that 'Oz' lager was actually brewed in blighty

No-one in Australia drinks Fosters

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Thumb Up

Phew!!

As a Scotsman, the thought of me being told I was supposed to be British (i.e. English) for the day was just too much.

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"It can't be re-manufactured by their spin doctors."

Maybe not, but can you imagine how much of our money they're going to get through whilst they keep the smoke and mirrors factory running.

Of course, we can always celebrate our Britishness in the time-honoured fashion; skiving.

I'm celebrating right now!

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Boffin

@ Above

@Shaggy; Not sure about Glasgow, but it was made in Blighty (as is Vindaloo too)

@AC (Phew): Erm.. whther you like it or not mate, you are British. You might consider yourself Scotland which no one can deny, but you are still British. And no, British does NOT mean you are English.. !!

@AC : "Western Europe have more public holidays than the UK" yeah, but at least we work rather than siesta/sleep during the working day... We're British and work hard for our money!

Personally, thank Fook(!!) that we don't have this day..

Rule Britannia!! (but DON'T let Joss Stone desecrate that one!!)

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Anonymous Coward

National Sack Jacqui Smith day

Gee what does bring us together, police and public? Blacks and whites? Muslims and Christians?

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Anonymous Coward

I bought this title from the government.

"British identity is bound up in our institutions, culture and history. It can't be re-manufactured by their spin doctors."

You know what, I actually find myself agreeing with the Tories on this one

*showers, scrubs 'till red*

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Flame

National Motto?

I never heard anything about that.

I suggest that, should it return, that the motto from the current round of TV licence adverts could be used:

"It's all the in the database"

with the small print afterwards reading:

"apart from the bits that got left on the train or lost in the post or leaked to the press or..."

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Anonymous Coward

@Anonymous Jock

Admittedly my atlas might not be up to date, but the last time I looked Scotland was in Great Britain.

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Great British Weekend

"Back in June, the then immigration minister Liam Byrne suggested the bank holiday weekend at the end of August could be reinvented as the "Great British Weekend","

Fuck that, weekends are my time.

I'm more than prepared to agree to patriotic day of celebration as long as it's one their days and not one of mine.

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Coat

@ac

Funny I was under the impression that the idea of being British was a Scotish Idea.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_I_of_England

*\. Cleaning my English coat from the oppression of the Scottish.

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@AC (vindaloo)

Vindaloo, unlike CTM, was not invented here. It was invented by Goanese cooks in the Portuguese colony of Goa about the time the Portuguese introduced chillis to India. It is a modification of the traditional northern Portuguese dish "Vinho e Alhos" (pork marinaded in red wine, vinegar and garlic) and the name is likewise a modification of the original.

Source: Pat Chapman: "Taste of the Raj".

The British Raj knew it as "Portuguese curry" as well as vindaloo. The book contains an early recipe and very good it is too.

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Black Helicopters

Lame Fail Day.

how british is that. the "almost, but not quite" mantra has now permiated the hallowed halls of government.

no wait, isn't that where it came from?

won't this offend the non-nationalist "we are one world" earth view fundamentalist minority movement?

black helicopters cos i used "offend" "fundamentailst" "minorty" in one sentance. *waves Hello to gov. web monitoring service*

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@ Anonymous Coward

"Admittedly my atlas might not be up to date, but the last time I looked Scotland was in Great Britain."

Admittedly our politics may not be to your taste, but the last time I looked I was fucking Scottish, end of.

Britain only exists to the vast majority north of the border, as a brittle Victorian construct, a rusted imperial badge of dishonour and as jingoistic headline fodder, bandied about by desperate Westminster politicians - who clearly have little grasp of the reality of life outside the M25 - in an increasingly desperate bid to win the votes of middle bloody Englanders.

Get tae buggery.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Scotland

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Anonymous Coward

We don't have much anymore

we use to have some space, now we are crowded, we use to have little shops of curiosity now we have US strip malls, we use to be able to smoke in the pub, and well now we can't. We use to be able to park without paying, now we can't.

Britain has become so pathetic, call it Mediocre Britain day and no holiday, sort of sums it all up :)

Oh we use to have gold, but Gordon sold all of that when gold was cheap, what a leader.

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Heart

@Martin

I stand corrected :o) Always thought it was British!

Thank you for puttin me right

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Coat

2 possible reasons

... that they're blocking it (OK, I could possibly find dozens but most of them would be unprintable)

1. most of the cabinet is scottish and they're scared to admit they're british.

2. they're scared of upsetting the 'ethnic minorities' - and at this rate the british will BE the ethnic minority.

AC since I don't fancy a visit from the tartan army.

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Anonymous Coward

Remember remember the 5th of November

A good British day. The day we burn a frenchmen in effigy because he failed to blow up the houses of parliament. Come back Guy, we need you.

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Joke

This Island Intentionally Left Blank

Ha ha what the fuck would we do on our national day? Watch 24 hours of Best of Big Brother moments and moan about the weather? Cower in self-perpetuating fear of terr'ist reprisals for daring to let down our guard and celebrate?

Possible cancelled excerpt from this year's Queen's speech:

"My government and I are pleased to announce the inauguration in this coming year of 'Britain Day'. A day of celebration when we shall each and every one of us cast orf the cares of the world - perhaps even our clothes too - and frolic in the fields come rain or shine. But we must beware! In all the frolicking there may very well wander at large a dark and sinister wolf ready to pounce and attack at the heart of that very essence of Britishness just as we are at our most carefree and, some might say, vulnerable".

Oh the humanity.

@ooFie, AC 13:44 etc.:

Not all of us Jocks think calling ourselves British equates somehow to being called English - only the ones who buy into ignorant jingoism in the same manner, for example, as some publicity-hungry English MPs who keep the Westminster anti-Scottish bandwagon rumbling along.

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Black Helicopters

But who is British?

If they have celebrations of Britishness then obviously anyone wishing to take part must be made to show their National ID card to prove that they are actually British. Otherwise the TERRORISTS!!! might join in.

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@ Craig

The term "British" is geographical. It refers to the island of Britain, of which Scotland is a part. You are Scottish. ipso facto you are also British.

Britons: British people, people of British ethnicity; originating from Britain; or citizens of the United Kingdom, the Isle of Man, the Channel Islands; or of one of the British overseas territories

Politics (nor the Victorians) don't enter into it.

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Thumb Up

"British identity is bound up in our institutions"

Like our financial ones?

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Anonymous Coward

rememberance day

I seem to recall that remembrance day was also doing the rounds as a possible holiday which always seemed an appropriate day to me.

Having moved to Canada it's a holiday here, something I'll enjoy more than constantly being referred to as English or from England, you'd think the Canadians have more sense than the US over that one. Still at least when you point out your Welsh they know what you mean.

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Here’s to another 405 years...

Given that ‘Great Britain’ was the term decreed by our own James VI to describe his new kingdom, and that he chose the design of the Union Jack as the common flag of that new kingdom, the concept ‘British’ is actually very Scottish, so to speak.

And what's with the ‘our politics’ Craig @15:00—speak for yourself: the separatists have no mandate in Scotland, only obtaining 16.66% of the Scottish electorate in the devolved election (and many of those votes were likely protest votes, most Jocks considering the Scottish parliament an irrelevance; their true support is probably nearer the 10.76% they gained in 2005).

Still Scottish, Always British—Quis separabit?

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Nobody's got it yet.

They've given it up in case it makes us plebs remember that the British were a nation that fought FOR freedom, not one that fought freedom.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Scottish stuff

Right, you lot, if you're going to take issue with the Scots go right ahead, but do it without leaning on the terribly clever figurative deep-fried Mars bar, because I'm not in the mood for that sort of petty stereotyping today and am not letting it through, 'k? 'K.

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Anonymous Coward

A few ideas on how to celebrate

What better way to celebrate than for us all to work a days overtime for nothing while local politicians burgle our houses. Then in the evning we could have a non-stop telethon of quangoes telling us what a load of fuckups we are, in the style of a train station announcer.

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Missing the point

@Sam Tana

The term British is no longer simply geographical. It is geopolitical. Those of us who never voted the current crop of fascists into power are being dragged into their dirty British foreign policy disasters and foul domestic police state vice, kicking and screaming.

Re the island guff, ipso facto your mum. I think you'll find that those of us with deep Scots roots are Scottish. Full stop. The rest is wishful unionist / anglophile thinking.

@David

My intention is not to represent the politics of anyone but the likeminded. And I think you'll find the mandate for separation is alive and well and in power in Holyrood. Just in case you hadn't noticed.

Re James VI - the wisest fool in Christendom - proclaimed himself King of Great Britain, an act never ratified by law. The concept of Britishness is as flawed and out-dated as the concept of multi-culturism.

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...and another 405 years after that.

@Craig—your likeminded is an unrepresentative minority, your Holyrood-residing separatists deriving their mandate from no more than 16.66% of the Scottish electorate (which is likely higher than their true support). Britishness 'outdated'? And resurrecting a nation that has not existed as an independent entity for over 4 centuries is modern, is it? As for your 'deep Scots roots are Scottish. Full stop.'—amongst the SNP'ers elected to Holyrood was an Aussie soap actress and the son of a Ukranian war criminal. And let's not forget Scotland's most famous separatist, Calafornia-resident Sean Connery—his Scottish roots don't even extend as far as his tax return.

Still Scottish, Always British—Quis separabit?

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Have at you, you toady troll

@David - Well, well they've got you on a short leash have they not, my little toady anglo lapdog.

Electoral turnout and percentage statistics can be quoted / massaged / misrepresented to suit by any woodentop David. Your unionist masters would surely approve.

This nation has existed independently in thought and spirit for much longer than the last 400 years. The day will come when the political stewardship of this country will be returned to it's rightful heirs. Be quite sure of that.

You can keep the rest of the nasty racist and xenophobic remarks to yourself trollboy.

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Linux

ha ha, you've got to be kidding

what a complete bunch of arseburgers that idea was. British national day my ring. this government is so desperate for ideas and any old kack that will fly in the Daily Mail.

The Immigration Minister should stick to worrying about fixing the expensive and inefficient Home Office, disposing of backdoor ID cards, and other genuine matters of government - instead of worrying about my values and traditions.

Meanwhile. "Politics (nor the Victorians) don't enter into it.". Ha ha ha, you tube - talking about citizenship, ethnicity and territory isn't political?

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Proud the Union Jacks fly over Scotland’s capital

@Craig—do you have anything to contribute to the debate other than insults? No amount of insults from you can change the fact that the SNP’s Holyrood mandate stems from only 16.66% of the Scottish electorate. No amount of insults from you can change the fact that 93.44% of the Scottish electorate reject separatism. Separatists are just another power-seeking minority, and rule by an unrepresentative minority is called tyranny.

Still Scottish, Always British—Quis separabit?

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Flame

But we already have a perfectly adequate Britishness Day

In fact, here is comes, a week tomorrow.... It's "Nationally Organised Vindictive Expression of Mannequin Burning, Exploding Rockets and Flames Igniting Famously Truthful Hopes"

Anyone got a light?

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Boffin

We don't WANT one... (and Kipling, as usual, gets it right)

Being British is not about flag-waving for the sake of it; indeed true patriots tend to play their cards close to their chest. Read the "Stalky and Co" episode "The Flag of Their Country" for more information.

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@ Sarah

Awww, have a heart - we LIKE Mars bar jokes!

On the other hand, we love it when you get all stern

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Unhappy

St Georges

Bollox to Britishness, why can't we English celebrate St George's properly? Hell, just about half the world takes the day off for St Patrick's and few of them are really Irish! For the Irish, they get a bank holiday too, likewise with the Scottish for St Andrews.

Okay, St David's doesn't deserve a bank holiday (yet, I'm sure they'll get it some day), but the Welsh celebrate it well anyway with pride.

In England? Stick out a St George's flag and you'll have the council round moaning that it's not multicultural and potentially racist.

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Pride

Mistake on my last comment, I should have written that 83.44% of Scots reject separatism, not 93.44%.

It was my understanding, Andrew, that Kipling (hardly modest in his patriotism) was condemning the lack of respect being shown to the flag in that chapter. Further to that, Sir Arthur Harris’s thoughts on British over-modesty in his ‘Bomber Offensive’ (Chapter 3) are interesting. Modest pride might be all well and good when most people share it, but it is all too common now to openly disparage our country and our achievements: if modest pride was ever appropriate, it certainly isn’t now.

Still Scottish, Always British—Quis separabit?

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Coat

The 25th of October - Agincourt Day

I propose that October 25th - the Saturday just gone - ought to be an English national holiday in remembrance of the Battle of Agincourt, that infamous military pwnage where about 9 million Frenchies got 4RR0W3D UP.

We can all set aside out differences and bond together in mutual hatred of everything French.</al murray>

Mine's the ring-mail jacket with the quiver slung over the shoulder.

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