Preposterous presidential playboy Nicolas Sarkozy is not amused by a voodoo doll of himself for sale in French bookshops, and has demanded the pernicious pin-based product is pulled from the shelves, er, post-haste. The dolls, according to the Times (which displays a lovely picture), are being sold along with a handy set of pins …
They don't work...
...my Wacky Jaqui doll is just about worn out and she seems as healthy as ever.
Ooops are they my chicken entrails in the pocket.
I politely request El Reg source a manufacturer for Jacqui Smith dolls swiftish.
Where is my George W Bush Doll?
WHERE IS MY GEORGE W BUSH DOLL!?
Oh, and El reg? A Ballmer doll would be highly useful for anyone that has to deal with Windoze boxes on a regular basis...
Any fool knows the doll is not enough - you need a bit of your victim so the trail of molecules connects back. Otherwise you just do yourself in - like shorting a battery. Not good if you've a big battery.
Voodoo = terrorism laws?
I have a feeling that if The Reg produce Jacqui Smith voodoo dolls, then it could be held under the terrorism act. Or whatever act for inciting hatred against home secretaries.
French for Duhh!
pfft just make your own...
All you need is something of the head, something of the thread, something of the body and something of the dead.
I suggest Sarko's toupee, his pearly-white bra, his spit collected from a bar wall and a bone chip from his dead grandfather. Of course you'll have to get quite close for this little lot to work. On the same screen as him, certainly.
For those of you who don't get this, it's a joke, I in no way condone theft of personal items or necromancy.
Also, for those of you about to ask, there's your IT angle.
Mines the one with a book in the pocket entitled "Big Whoop: Unclaimed Bonanza or Myth?"
The french for "duuuuh ?"
Would be "duuuuh ?". Or maybe my native tongue has been tainted by yours.
Mine's the one with the pins in the pocket.
"Unauthorised use of his image" ?!
What. The. Fuck ?
Celebrities (and that includes world leaders) BELONG to us, the general public. We are the ones who made them famous, and we are the ones who can return them to obscurity on a whim. We OWN them.
Unauthorised use of his image, my arse. His image is OURS, to do whatever the fuck we want with. That goes with the territory. If he can't stand a little piss-taking, then he should never have stood for office in the first place.
New one please.
I used to have a Gordon Brown voodoo doll, but the little glass eye fell out and dropped down the back of the sofa, so it doesn't work any more.
It may be too late but................
...can all references to '....Wacky Jacqui dolls....' be changed to '....Wacky Jacqui voodoo dolls....'?
Whatever happened to the Mohammed the Teddy Bear voodoo dolls?
C'est fou, non ?
Poor Little Sarko can't take a bit of baiting ? Well, tough ! He should of thought of that before marrying Carla Bruni and becoming Le President (isn't that make of cheese ?). The press coverage of those two events alone will guarantee his unfunny mug will appear in the popular press for a couple of years more at least. Get with the program, Sarko, and start ripping the piss out of yourself and join in with the rest of us !!
Gay gent 1: My mother made me a homosexual.
Gay gent 2: Oooh, do you think she could knit me one too?
Il sommes de voyage le ruisseau de merde, sans paddle.
Forgive my pigeon French... Im just a beginner.
Paris.... cos I learned my dodgy Franglais during a night in Paris. I also got a nasty itch.
Here in Aldershot, we have a voodoo doll (well, Action Man) as our MP!
His name's Gerald, and he's small but perfectly formed...
But a Waqui Jaqui doll would be a great solace on cold evenings :)
Mine's the one with an uberdatabase in the pocket, ready to leave it on the train.
@ Rob Holmes
Alternatively get him to blow his considerable nose on your hankie, collect the skull of one of his dead parents, steal his undies when he bends down, trap his crispy beard bits in an elevator, add this plus a doll to a patented JuJu bag and voila! All you have to do now is pull it's leg off and Sarkozsky will admit he's your evil brother Chuckie, although he will return in fiery beard zombie-form for a sequel.
They don't work
I had a Margaret Thatcher one. :-(
Re : Where is my George W Bush Doll?
They couldn't find a piece of wood thick enough
@ Andy Walton
Hmm. I think I prefer your way actually. At least then Sarkozy will promise to stop shutting me in his foot locker.
"For those of you who don't get this, it's a joke, I in no way condone . . . necromancy."
I, however, DO condone necromantic thaumaturgy!
A plague upon you all!
No sense of humor...
...At least the NZ crowd don't seem to complain about the dog chew toys made to look like them. http://www.stuff.co.nz/4702958a6160.html
Available from Nozama: http://www.amazon.com/George-W-Bush-Voodoo-Kit/dp/0762431172
"Waqui Jaqui doll would be a great solace on cold evenings :)"
OMG the images!!!!
QUCIK THE MIND BLEACH!!!!
Ah Sarah Bee.
Your writing gives me stiffness:
"Preposterous presidential playboy Nicolas Sarkozy is not amused by a voodoo doll of himself for sale in French bookshops, and has demanded the pernicious pin-based product is pulled from the shelves, er, post-haste."
Musical aliteration, absolutely musical.
Keep up the killer articles; love 'em. If only more journos could dish out a bit of well-worded ridicule like this more often. That's why I read The Reg, sterling stuff. Cheers.
The moderatrix gives you stiffness? I'm jealous.
Someone's needling him and he responds with a stab in the dark.
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