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back to article 1,400 Yahooligans perish as Yang raids needle cabinet

Yahoo! is firing a bunch of people to cut $400 million from its budget. That sucks for the people who work there, but the entrepreneurs and venture capitalists who hustled Yahoo! out of more than $2.5 billion in the last 4 years probably aren't terribly concerned. In the typical American fashion, Yahoo! bought a bunch of shit it …

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Another! Story! About! Yahoo!

Without! Exclamation! Marks! After! Every! Word! Of! The! Title!

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Fantastic

Great article in the true old-skool Reg style, Ted.

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Anonymous Coward

in b4 people complaining about the language

speaking of which, how many fuck-tons are there in a shitload?

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according to my calculations...

you're wrong; it's how many shitloads there are in a fuck-ton. As near as I can figure, there are 37.3341 shitloads in the average fuck-ton.

That is, unless we're talking metric.

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Hey! You forgot Flickr!

They bought up Flickr, and killed their own Yahoo! Photos service.

They bought up Konfabulator, and changed its name to the lame Yahoo! Widgets.

Geeze, they bought up so much trash I'm surprised they have any money left. Looks like Web 2.0 is turning into Dotcom 2.0: Taking down those who didn't go down with Dotcom 1.0!!!

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Unhappy

There's the modern style then.

Could have been improved by losing the unimaginative swear words. Might've been interesting.

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Anonymous Coward

Ax is not

The present tense of axed.

Hmmm... Maybe that was in another article --- but since when did anyone want to talk about Yahoo?

Oh yes, Flickr. I'd forgotten Flickr. I even use Flickr.

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They're determined to annoy their customers...

Have you seen what they've just done to Profiles? They seem determined to break all the bits people actually like...

See http://www.yprofileblog.com/ and the comments. Not exactly a popular move...

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Jonathan

Nope, as I said, that's the good old-skool Reg style, not the dull, neutered Silicon Valley-speak it's become infested with over the last few years. You a new reader?

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Anonymous Coward

Oh dear

the world recession affects the golden boys. I am really going to lose sleep tonight. No, really - the bank took my mattress.

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Heart

But, but, but...

Isn't Web 2.0 all about monetizing eyeballs???

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Yahoo's biggest mistake

The cock-smoker is right about the proper business model: "get acquired and become somebody else's problem". That is the recipe.

Unfortunately Yahoo missed the exit. They had their last opportunity when Ballmer was trying to buy them. Now the're on the road to nowhere and running out of gas.

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Stu

Microsoft wins?

So Yahoo shares fall drastically, they lay off staff and I imagine face loosing the litigation regarding shareholder value by not taking the money and running, which leaves spot 2 (behind Google) available for the taking. Nice work for not spending 40 billion. Perhaps Microsoft should try to buy Google for not 100 billion and see if they can get to spot 1.

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Adam

Nope, an old reader, as in dinosaur. I can spell words like 'lose' and I can do grammar. I can even say 'Oh Bother' when I break something and manage to avoid what my parents called 'effing and blinding' in favour of more witty and adventurous ways of chatting in pubs. Yes I remember Old Reg too and have always liked the refreshing slangy straight-to-the-point way he/she/they do reports. And I think it's got better over the years, probably partly to do with the instant feedback that the comments provide.

Dear Reg, please send me my free subscription as a thank-you for my refined niceness.

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This post has been deleted by its author

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@Jonathon McColl

Can I suggest that you learn to appreciate difference? Ted's articles are amusing and sometimes interesting. The swearing helps boost the amusement and there are no obvious downsides, IMHO.

"more witty and adventurous ways of chatting", an example of which is making a lame joke about a free subscription to an already free site? That's a bit arrogant, methinks.

"I can do grammar" isn't that an oxymoron? Or perhaps it's just a double standard.

"refined niceness" or obsequious simpering? The jury's out.

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Units

Is a fuck-ton more or less than a megaton?

If it's more they should use it to measure the yield of nuclear warheads. "The Russians test fired two ICBMs capable of carrying six 20 Fuckton warheads yesterday...". Sounds a lot more menacing, no?

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Dead Vulture

Haha

I have to assume that my last post wasn't accepted due to the bad language therein?

How deliciously ironic.

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@og

Let's be honest, that was all pretty stupid criticism. The guy's got a point; stop throwing random accusations in the hope that something sticks. Nothing did.

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Language

If the language detracts from the point of the article, as it does here, then the use of bad language is pointless.

The fact that half of the comments are about the language shows that the whole point of the piece has been lost.

It isn't clever and it's pointless.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Language

God am I frickin bored with all the comments about the language. Y'all so frickin prim.

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IT Angle

@Sarah

You would have thought that the maximum number of times that someone of delicate sensibilities or a nervous disposition could be offended by a TD article would be one. But given the amount of whining that follows each one, that appears not to be the case. To save these poor unfortunates from imprudent clicking perhaps El Reg needs a new tag to indicate:

Not Suitable For Those Of A Nervous Disposition, With Delicate Sensibilities Or Who Consider Themselves Intellectually Superior To A Bit Of Harmless Swearing

But NSFTOANDWDSOWCTISTABOHS is not very catchy.

Coming up with a better one could be a new El Reg competition. If so, my entry is:

NSFPW

where Prissy W*nkers are the PW in question.

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Sam

@Sarah

So my answer to Jeff Rowse on http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/20/microsoft_bleeps_undesired_words_censorship/comments/ didn't get posted because...

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(Written by Reg staff)

@Sam

It was because it had The Bad Word in it without 'S' at the start and 'horpe' afterwards.

It's not my fault these ironies occur. I just work with what I'm given.

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Boffin

@goggyturk

You are making a very common mistake. Fuckton and fuck-ton do not have the same value. A fuck-ton is only 1/8 of a Fuckton.

So your Russian "20 Fuckton warhead" would actually be a 160 fuck-ton warhead.

1 Fuckton = 8 fuck-ton

1 fuck-ton = 0.90718474 fuck-tonne

1 Fucktonne = 8 fuck-tonne

1 fuck-tonne = 1.10231131 fuck-ton

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Sam

@Sarah

Err...but it was a thread about swear filters...and mildly amusing, you could have starred it....and I'm sure I've seen the abbreviated resort with Mrs Thrills boarding house (Thank you Spike) quoted on here before..

So when do you get the new logo, I.E motorised high speed goalposts?

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@ neil hanvey

fuckmuppet.

sweet jesus, I laughed so hard, people in the office were looking at me strangely...

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wtf

What the fuck is web 2 anyway? I still don't know.

Whoever first coined the phrase should be hanged at Tyburn.

This is what happens when you mix 'creative' types with technology. You get things like 'web 2.0' and apple fricking macs.

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