...you continue to amaze. I was happy enough with the subhead, until I ran into this:

""I am a touch late, as I promised to give Connie the collar this summer," said Ivanov, no doubt sweating slightly."

Fantastic. I have a similar story - a friend-of-a-friend who described the potential failure of a Russian business venture as, "...not so good for me." No. Not so good indeed.

How does he smell? With state supplied prosthetic smelling aid, thank you Tovaritch!

"in the forest, lying in a puddle".

Now that's what I call a brainfart !

The world needs more people like this in national government. People who say what they really think, no matter how unpalatable it may be to others.

How disrepectful! Do you mean his soon-to-be-ex wife or the nubile young gymnast he left her for? "Yo, Vlad, where's ya bitch, dude?"

Mine's the one with the tracker sewn onto the Astrakhan collar

Deputy first prime minister Sergei Ivanov, who was tasked with obtaining the canine security device, said that it was unique - the "only one of its type in the world".

A quick Google comes up with:

http://www.easydevices.co.uk/pp/GPS_Receivers/GPS_Tracker/ZOOMBAK_ADVANCED_GPS_DOG_AND_PET_TRACKER.html

http://www.radiofence.com/gps-dog-tracking/?gclid=CJ7b6oGUuJYCFQOx1AodHBR5Lw

http://www.innerwolf.co.uk/gbu0-catshow/GPS_Locator_Dog_Collars.html?gclid=COez0b6UuJYCFQuH1Qodfn1HLA

OK they probably don't use GLONASS, but certainly could be described as previous art

First CIA/Terrist/Lizard Soldier to use this to find Putin when he's alone in the woods with no-one in sight & look at him down the barrel of their sniper rifle wins!

Great, so if the dog's lying somewhere dead or injured you'll never frikkin' find it??!

Good thinking there comrad!

Lying around in puddles is precisely the kind of thing Labradors love to do in my experience. The resemblance between them and piglets is marked, although in generaI I would say piglets are usually cuter, less drooly and probably smarter.

Presumably the uniqueness is from it using the Russian GPS satellites (GLONASS) instead of the American ones.

Or didn't you read the article?

Surely we can somehow use this technology to prosecute all dog-owners who persist in letting their dogs crap all over our otherwise (littered, violent, wet) beautiful country.

We discussed this article in our popular IT-resouce Liberatum.ru and decided that the United States incorrectly interprets the goals and objectives of GLONASS.

http://liberatum.ru/blog/putinskaya-sobaka-dozhdalas-glonass-osheinik-vzglyad-iz-ssha">Real objectives

The russkis are gonna send free puppies with the satnav collars to the states....

In reality each collar will allow an individual reentry vehical to target select individuals....

the russian name for the secret plan is сила щенка loosly translated as puppy power....